massholes2

These guys are enjoying life more than you are right now.

The Red Sox are 19-8 and the Jays are 10-18. Fuck everything.

Scuttlebutt

Interesting stuff from Dirk Hayhurst on today’s Baseball Central about the substance on Clay Buhholz’s arm last night. Shi Davidi looks into it at Sportsnet (a post that also has the video of Dirk’s comments), with a screencap from the broadcast. I tweeted a different, somewhat less compelling one myself. That Skeet Ulrich looking motherfucker!

John Farrell and the Red Sox are, rather unsurprisingly, suggesting that it’s just rosin on Buchholz’s arm.

Mike Wilner tweets that John Gibbons told reporters that Josh Johnson played catch ahead of a scheduled bullpen yesterday, and that the pain in his triceps was still there. He shut it down and will rehab in Florida.

Ricky Romero was the first choice to come up, says Gibbers, according to a tweet from Chris Toman. The club got positive reports from Dane Johnson, who had been working with Romero in Dunedin, and he won’t be on a pitch count in tomorrow’s game.

“If he didn’t feel good about it and we didn’t feel good about it, he wouldn’t be here,” says Gibbons via a tweet from John Lott.

It’s not all bad, though. Brendan Kennedy tweets a pic of the Red Sox lineup, which tonight doesn’t include David Ortiz. An actual break for the Jays!

More good news, as Barry Davis tweets that the roof, which was being tested yesterday and today, will remain open for tonight’s game!

MacArthur also tweets that he figures tonight’s tilt against the Red Sox is a big one for the Jays, marking the difference between an actual series win and having lost four of six at home to the division leaders al-fucking-ready.

Barry Davis tells us that the Red Sox have hit 14 home runs at Fenway… and 16 at Rogers Centre.

John Lott tweets a link to his post-game piece from last night at the National Post, in which Mark Buehrle said, “I feel I’m right there, a few pitches away from having a quality start.” Let’s fucking hope so.

TV: Sportsnet

And now the lineups, by way of the live box score at theScore.com. And for those of you who’ll be out and about, be sure to follow all the action on your phone with theScore app

Toronto Blue Jays

3B Brett Lawrie (R)
DH Adam Lind (L)
RF Jose Bautista (R)
1B Edwin Encarnacion (R)
C J.P. Arencibia (R)
LF Melky Cabrera (S)
CF Colby Rasmus (L)
2B Emilio Bonifacio (S)
SS Munenori Kawasaki (L)

J.A. Happ LHP

Boston Red Sox

CF Jacoby Ellsbury (L)
LF Jonny Gomes (R)
2B Dustin Pedroia (R)
DH Mike Napoli (R)
RF Daniel Nava (S)
3B Will Middlebrooks (R)
1B Mike Carp (L)
SS Stephen Drew (L)
C David Ross (R)

Ryan Dempster RHP

Comments (432)

  1. Emeeeeliooooooh!!!!!!

  2. It’s hard for me to even imagine how Bonifacio could have been a useful player at one time. I just can’t picture it.

    • He’s a Bonifiasco so far.

      • If he was getting on base at even a mediocore clip you could see because he’s able to steal his way to 3rd better than anyone in baseball besides Trout…he’s insane fast but he’s just been fucking horrible at the plate…look at 2011 stats and you can see there’s potential value there…but yes I currently loathe every AB he gets…

  3. Watching this team is like being in a shitty relationship: you keep sticking around and thinking that things will change, but deep down, you know it won’t get better.

  4. If Lawrie were to hit a 3-run shot here, he’d jump into the home plate as if it was a walk-off only to tear his ACL. 2013 Blue Jays.

  5. The Man From Muncie takes the stage.

  6. HOMERUN LIND!!

  7. Just walk Lind.

  8. It’s hero time Mr Lind!

  9. Woohoo Lind with the bases loaded, this looks so promising

  10. Kittenface could get himself the key to the city if he gets a hit right now.

  11. I MISS THE EXPOS

    • I will always miss the expo. I still have my jersey, hats, programmes.

      The expos did more with less. Had the expos won more games in 1993, they would have faced the Jays in the world series

  12. Tears of unfathomable sadness.

  13. Lind just got owned.

  14. Weooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! another 3 left on…

  15. Perfect end to another “rally” we all knew nothing was going to come of.

  16. Lind is so predictable.

  17. There is no joy in Mudville–mighty Casey has struck out.

  18. Ah hell. I was praying the on base machine Lind would come through. Nope.

  19. THIS TEAM IS SHIT!

  20. That foreign substance really helped him leave that fastball up in the zone

  21. Something is fucked here. 5 hits, 5 walks, 1 run. FML.

  22. never thought id say this but please come back soon tabby

  23. After watching that commercial for the 50th time, I feel assured that JP shows up “early to BP.” Doesn’t he have to be there anyway?

  24. I just discovered a large spoon in my pocket

  25. Only series we’ve won all year was in Kansas City. And that was the series that we lost Reyes. Your 2013 Blue Jays

  26. 8th inning… Here we go.

  27. Bautista ever going to get hot or just continue to play like dogshit?

  28. How do we suck pygmy shlong? Let me count the ways,
    We suck it to the length and breadth and height
    The shaft can reach, when the game feels out of sight

  29. JP! what happened? You started out so strong, and those were all in the zone!

    • Hes a fucking backup catcher. What is one thing he does well on a baseball field besides occasionally hit for power? Strong arm maybe? Thats it. Him, boni, and davis are the most useless and one dimensional players on this roster.

  30. Timely hitting… I hardly knew ye.

  31. Good Christ JP…3 pitches that were right there. At least Melky is on fire…this should end well

  32. FUCK YEAH MELKY YOU DA MAN

  33. The Blue Jays vs one of the best relievers in the entire league. It’s a feat they even managed a hit.

  34. Wow jp and melky great ABs!!! Fucking shit ballplayers. (esp jpa).

  35. Melky sucks. This is sad.

  36. I expect nothing good to happen, ever. This fucking sucks.

    • Vince Vaughn said in Dodgeball, “I find that by never having goals, you’re never disappointed.”

      Try that.

  37. The Jays might as well be a team of blacks in the 1930s. The way they are treated is fucking unbelievable.

  38. Rogers in? Looks like the Jays are calling it a game and moving onto the next one.

  39. Is it crazy to want to trade in the additional 75ft over the fence that everyone is trying gain on each stroke for some contact? Sorry guys, the approach that made Jose Bautista a threat won’t work for everyone.

  40. This team is a steaming turd.

  41. I kinda want things to get ugly. Like bench clearing, fighting dirty ugly. Throwing punches at Farrell, Pedroia, the fucking umps, who gives a shit. Just go hog wild, everyone gets their anger out. Then we go an win the next 103 games.
    Is that wrong?

    • I like it. It’s even plausible.

    • I’m afraid we’d lose the fight.

    • I fucking love this idea! However, I see a Give-A-Fuck level of Negligible every time they show a shot of the dugout. Seriously thought do these guys even care? I miss the anger! Say what you want about Lawrie hitting umpires in the head with his helmet and Bautista complaining (rightly so) about missed calls, but man atleast it was entertaining.

      This bullshit team isn’t even fucking exciting to watch. That was a horrible experience of a game to watch, and it’s getting to be a habit. Nothing happens! Just strike outs with the odd solo home run mixed in. It’s pathetic!

    • Need a Team Canada vs. Team Mexico style brawl.

  42. It’s sad that the leadoff homerun in the first inning ends up being our only run in the game. I can’t believe we emptied out our entire farm system for this piece of shit team

    • To be fair Reyes was one of the best in baseball before he got injured (small sample size obviously) but while JJ and Buhrle haven’t been great, for the most part they have been alright (some exceptions) its the people we had before or after the trade that are playing badly (Lind, Rasmus, Izturis, Melky, bautista, Lawrie, Morrow, ect. ect.)

    • I agree man. You know, why didn’t AA take a look at the Miami Marlins and think, “Well if they sucked that fucking bad in the goddamn NL maybe they won’t miraculously turn it around and become a fucking JUGGERNAUT OF INSANE BASEBALL POWER RAKERS.”

      Instead he bankrupted our fucking system for shit. Aside from Reyes, we got fucked, and he is unfortunately never gonna play a full season of ball, especially on turf.

      I’m so sad.

      • We have a whopping FOUR players from the 2012 Marlins. One is injured, one isn’t an everyday player, and two are starting pitchers. So, on any given day, we might have, at best, THREE guys in the lineup from last year’s Marlins — one of them pitching.

        In what universe is that anywhere close to the 2012 Marlins? Are you telling me when you saw news of the trade, you didn’t think Reyes and Johnson WEREN’T good additions to a core of Bautista, EE, Lawrie and Morrow (amongst others)?

        Sure this team is playing like garbage, and yes we were probably swooning a little too aggressively over an unproven team that was buried under a pile of question marks. But referring to them as the Toronto Marlins is moronic.

  43. This has to get better right…right

  44. Sometimes your middle infielders botch grounders, and sometimes Lind makes a catch like that. Baseball.

  45. Farrell still Farrelling. Giving the Jays a look at Hanrahan (established closer!) instead of the better Bailey.

  46. Anybody ran the pitch trax Sox v Jays for the Series??? I’m not calling conspiracy or anything but there seems to be 2 zones.

    • Start working on it gumshoe:
      http://brooksbaseball.net/pfxVB/zoneTrack.php

      • Even if gumshoe was meant to be derogatory I like it…thanks for the link…time for some sleuthing

        • not derogatory so much as a motivational pejorative

          • Nathanael West would be proud.

          • Motivational pejorative=well said…from what I could gather 2nite the sox really did get the benefit of the doubt…last night not so much but as we know pitchtrax doesnt tell the situational story…not advanced enough to do isolation on my piece of shit laptop but Lawrie is getting fucking hosed for sure (somewhat understandably and also based mostly on gametime observation)…if a 4 seam gets called just off the plate good pitch…back door 2 seam just off the plate not so much…and it’s not like Buckholtz or Dempster have earned a Madduxesque Hallidayian zone either…there may be more to this than Hayhurst’s Vaseline Theorem…I call for DJF analaysis not as an alarmist but for due dilegence regardless of game outcome…also has Stoeten touched on the lubricated sox storyline yet?

            • i really only watch Jays games in any great number so i have no frame of reference as to how their calls compare to other teams. I feel like they get hosed sometimes, which will happen, but it also seems to be in high leverage situations. Maybe those are the situations where their bats just become glued to their shoulders.
              In any case, i wish they’d get rid of the pitch tracker on screen, it’s very distracting. replays, sure.

  47. Rajai Davis. Pinch-hitting vs a righty.

    This is a big “you know you suck when” moment for Bonifacio.

  48. Everyone get their rally caps on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  49. The Jays will play just over .500 in May, .650 in June, .750 in July after the trade for Mike Scioscia then go on a run of over .800 baseball to beat our new nemesis the Cleveland Whatevers in the AL Championship.

  50. This has been a 3.5 hour game in which 4 runs have been scored. FOUR FUCKING RUNS!

  51. 10-19!! Are you ready Mariners?!!! Ricky to the Rescue.

  52. Well, there’s another season next year.

  53. 9 runs in the first game of the series. 11 runs in total for the whole series. FML.

  54. At least we got to 10 wins before 20 losses.

  55. It is fucking early!

  56. My dad just said, and I quote “they should all be taken outside and pissed on by infected whores.”

    Pops knows how to gripe.

  57. I’m amazed every time Kawasaki can muscle the ball into the shallow OF on a fly. I wish he could’ve gotten out that way this time.

  58. Great way to end the game guys!! Its a long season but WOW i dont know what to say. Their record is like 5-22 against the AL east with most of the losses coming at home. FUCK! I just want a winning team damnit.

  59. *checks the standings*

    Alright! #BetterThanHouston

  60. Starting to think they might just be bad.

    It’s been so hard to watch. From game one, the team just hasn’t played that well. We haven’t even had a little run to get excited about.

    • AND before the season started they looked like the best team in the division on paper for once. Thats the most disappointing thing. The hitters have massively underachieved. Although i think in some cases (jpa, boni, and davis) they just arent good and are better used as backups.

    • but imagine if they crush more dingers how worthwhile it’ll be to watch?

    • James, is 10-19 any indication of a bad team?

  61. I’ve held for a while that they could win 6 or 7 in a row and get right back in it … but I just can’t fathom this team putting a couple great games in a row at this point, nevermind 6 or 7.

    Really, really sad.

  62. Romero against Felix tomorrow

  63. Sorry to interrupt, but I’m wondering if anyone will help identify small potatoes.
    Does sm equal df?

    • It’s S and M.

    • His real name is Jonathan Goldsmith.

    • June, I’d like to help you but not even the urban dictionary could help me make sense of “does sm equal df?”

      Try again. Use your words. You’re new here, right?

      • Thx SP
        I thought I was the only one.

        • If Smelly Old Dog was still here he’d probably join right in. (R.I.P.)

          Many of the so-called ‘cultural references’ pass me by, even though I raised kids during The Simpsons era.

          • Amazing that when watching the Simpsons with someone younger, they laugh at parts and I go “huh?”.Then I start laughing at other parts and they go “huh?”

    • Its a trap! Ole spud is checking to see who can give him up.

      HINT: I can be plied with fuzzy hunks of green gold and whiskey!

    • Ground control to major June
      Your circuit’s dead, there’s something wrong
      Can you hear me, major June?
      Can you hear me, major June?
      Can you hear me, major June?
      Can you….

      • By the light, (By the light, By the light),
        Of the silvery moon, (The silvery moon).
        I want to spoon, (Want to spoon, Want to spoon)
        To my honey I’ll croon love’s tune.
        Honeymoon, (Honeymoon, Honeymoon),
        Keep a-shining in June. (Keep a-shining in June)
        Your silvery beams will bring love dreams,
        We’ll be cuddling soon,
        By the silvery moon.
        Your silvery beams will bring love dreams,
        We’ll be cuddling soon,
        By the silvery moon. (The silvery moon).

      • SP if you ever figure out if sm equals df, can you find out if tg is greater or lesser than fq?

        • Life is full of imponderables, RADAR.

          For my part, if I didn’t learn it from studying the “Life Of Brian,” I find it probably sadly eludes me.

        • Do you think that June could be ‘The One’ RADAR?

          My Soul Mate?

          http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/commitment.png

          • Fuck it I’m goin’ back to pirate yee farking souls of yonder as the admiral of the black I call on me buckos to walk back this plank and find the hearties to be on board.

          • Could it be, she wants you, because she admires you from afar?
            Or for something more nefarious?
            Something carnal?
            Maybe a bill collector?
            You been callin those numbers again?

            • And here I’d hoped it was a meeting of the minds.

              • So many one liners to use.
                Must resist.
                Must resist.
                Control.
                Biting tongue.
                Arrrrrrrrrg.

                • Get that looked into, and then we’ll continue.

                  (Just stop trying to mouth the words for your own sake.)

                  Do you question that I, Spud, could form a mind meld with a (hopefully) (semi) (ish) young woman?

                  • Depends on whether you know if “sm equals df” or not.
                    You do know what that means,don’t you?
                    She’s trying to tell you something.

                    • It’s all greek to me.
                      I suppose I could liken it to my own particular holy grail and devote the rest of my life in an attempt at deciphering it.

                      Naaaa. That’s crazy. Isn’t it?
                      You’re the greybeard here, after all.

    • Ye haven’t an arm, ye haven’t a leg, hurroo, hurroo
      Ye haven’t an arm, ye haven’t a leg, hurroo, hurroo
      Ye haven’t an arm, ye haven’t a leg
      Ye’re an armless, boneless, chickenless egg
      Ye’ll have to put with a bowl out to beg
      Oh June I hardly knew ye.

  64. The Jays are the worst team in the league.

    Discuss.

  65. Marty York trolls aside, I wonder if something is going to happen.

  66. Another thing AA gambled on and is not looking too good about right now is who he chose to be the manager of these guys.

    Fine and well to believe that the manager can only do so much, but the way they’ve stumbled and bumbled on little things at times, they haven’t exactly looked like a well prepared, major league team.

    And the bits and moments when we see the dugout, since game one, have always left me with a vague sense that the guy in charge – Gibbons – isn’t sure if he really belongs there. Sort of.

  67. Adam Lind — or Idaho Sunrise as I’ve nicknamed him with my brother — has got to be the most epic rally breaker in the history of baseball. That potato farmer looking motherfucker can end and good inning and not even crack a look of mild interest.

    I swear to god you just gotta picture him in overalls.

    I’m so disgusted. Off to bed with a tear in my beer and a tight butthole again.

    • Your sheets thank you.

    • The roster construction this year was terrible. AA was hoping that the top 4 would carry the line-up day-in and day-out. Reyes is injured, Bautista and Melky are sucking the big one…

  68. Enough with the bullshit, stick a fork into this excrement of a season.

    Lind, Melky, Buerle, Johson, Gibby = Crap

    Alex Anthropomorphous is a shit GM.

    10-19?

    C’mon.

    • I think John Gibbons is getting way too much blame. Although I’m sure he’s going to be the fall guy once heads start rolling (which could be any day now).

      With that being said, I have hoped for Martinez for a long time for the Jays… and would hope that that would be the replacement. Although I’m sure they’ll go look for VETRUN MANAGERS WHO KNOW HOW TO WIN, NOWHAMSAYIN’?

    • The season might be done…

      but I have ZERO problem with what AA did last offseason. He took a shot. It made sense.

  69. I was mostly with ya until you shit-talked Anthopolous. Some of the moves might not be working out this season, but he’s still one of the best GM’s going.

  70. -44 run differential. the mind boggles.

    they’d be better off fielding a 25 man roster of Mike McCoy

  71. I really wish the Red Sox had traded for Reyes and Johnson.

    • The Blue Jays are a piss ant organization. The only reason they are bitching about Red Sox pitchers is because they are getting their butts kicked. Last I checked the Red Sox have not played the Blue Jays for all of their 29 games so far. Maybe the real reason for the 10-19 record is the crap team on the field. You are who you are.

    • Fuck no! Reyes is going to be the fucking best.

  72. According to dipshit Asswipe Stoeten, this is the team Jays fans deserve. I wish he’d die and go fuck himself and it doesn’t have to be in that order!

  73. At 10-19 the jays are only 7 games out of the wildcard.

    It will be a steep climb to get back to respectability.

    Looking forward to Romero pitching tonight.

    I wonder if AA will bring up Thole soon.

    Does AA keep his cool & loyalty to Derosa & Blanco so that “veteran clubhouse guys” feel OK.

    I think the bench needs to be upgraded.

  74. Its over

  75. haha love the pic

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