Hey! It’s the All-Star Game!

You know, the corporate glad-handing event masquerading as some kind of festival of baseball as presented in the most kid- and casual fan-friendly format possible that totally makes a thousand percent sense except for… y’know… how if baseball really cared about attracting kids and casual fans they might actually figure out a way to get a playoff game finished before 1:30 AM Eastern.

Hey! But stars! Oh all the stars of the game are here. Steve Delabar, Michael Cuddyer, Glen Perkins, Jeff Locke. You know, stars!

Hey! But if you enjoy, what the fuck do I care? Go enjoy the shit out of it. Shit, maybe it will even be fun watching Matt Harvey and Max Scherzer attacking these star-studded lineups– but you didn’t hear that from me!

American League

LF Mike Trout (R)
2B Robinson Cano (L)
3B Miguel Cabrera (R)
1B Chris Davis (L)
RF Jose Bautista (R)
DH David Ortiz (L)
CF Adam Jones (R)
C Joe Mauer (L)
SS J.J. Hardy (R)

RHP Max Scherzer

National League

2B Brandon Phillips (R)
RF Carlos Beltran (R)
1B Joey Votto (S)
3B David Wright (R)
LF Carlos Gonzalez (L)
C Yadier Molina (R)
SS Troy Tulowitzki (R)
DH Michael Cuddyer (R)
CF Bryce Harper (L)

RHP Matt Harvey (R)

Comments (90)

  1. Now those are some seriously sic lineups!

  2. Oops how did mike cuddyer sneak in there…that looks like someone played a lineup joke

  3. Was not expecting an All-Star Game Threat! An unexpected delight! The actual game – ehhhhh…

  4. I can’t wait for this game to end with Glen Perkins popping out Marco Scutaro!

  5. Go easy on the All Star game lol it may be a pointless exhibition game (despite what Bud Selig has tried to make it) but it beats the alternative which is no baseball this week.

    • Yeah.

      I’m cool with the all-star game.

      It is what it is. And what it is is a billion times better than the all star games in Hockey, Basketball or Football.

      • ^^^ This. It’s for (most) fans and sponsors. If you don’t like it don’t watch it and for the love of all things beery stop bitching about it. We know you DJF and GB eds and contribs hate the thing, okay, please move on.

        Football all-star games are an absolute joke resembling nothing like a real game. Hockey and basketball is slightly better while baseball is the closest.

        Oh, and no, I didn’t watch the HR derby nor the all-star game.

  6. Ortiz batting behind Bautista.

    Oh what might have been had the pipe dream if Ortiz hitting free agency come true.

    Leyland really does want to win this. Look at the sic lefty righty lineup for the AL.

  7. Eddies gonna hit a see ya bingo and 42 will blow the save almost until delabar strikes out 3 straight to save the day. The Padres are so impressed they trade chase headley straight up or delabar. Headley hits near .400 for the rest of the year leading a miraculous second half. The jays finish with 95 wins, don’t lose a game in the playoffs and win the world serious.

    WS Mvp is Brett Lawrie and all the haters can blow me.

    • Fortune favours the bold.

    • How many games does Garza win for us almighty seer?

      • The red sox trade xander bogaerts along with will middlebrooks and some minor prospects to the cubs for Soriano and Garza. Garza goes 2-9 with a 6.56 era

        red sox are worse than the Astros in the second half and (obviously) miss the playoffs. John Farrell is very butthurt and calls a press conference that his dream job is to coach the Celtics. He gets traded for Paul pierce and red sox fans are elated because theyre fucking stupid.

  8. Hey guys – I’m concerned that the flag is not quite big enough to honour America.

  9. Sorry folks, it was all a ruse, this game is never going to start

    • I’ve been blasting Rage Against The Machine to get myself in the All-Star Game spirit. I realize now this was a mistake. Je suis desolee.


  11. Stop hating fun, guys.

  12. Jose Bautista RBI!

    We’re getting home field advantage!!!

  13. So Cano got dinged in the knee or something?

  14. Cecil strike out the side

  15. Let’s go National League, big come back!!!

    With the Jays doomed to last place again, I just don’t want the Yankees or Red Sox having home field in the World Series . . . I’ve rooted for the NL every year since they started this thing for the same reason (and the Jays are always dead by July)

  16. What the hell is gibbons doing there ? tHE jAYS WOULD NOT BE 11 1/2 BACK WITH A REAL MANAGER


  18. Goggles.

  19. that a boi goggles!

  20. Jays pen represents!

  21. bj’s represent….joey bats in line for the game winning rbi…cecil and delebar doing what they do! BOOOOM!

  22. Question is if the game ended now, who gets mvp?

    • The umps are conferring with Bud Selig….

      The commissioner has made an decision!

      The fans are the MVP!
      Good night everyone!

  23. Neil Diamand is 72.
    Doesn’t look too bad.
    Not as good as I did at 72,but not bad.

  24. Crud. I thought the game was over.

  25. Why wouldn’t they use Mariano in the 9th?
    Seems like a strange call, in NY, even if Nathan has been better statistically.

    • I know, right? I thought that they were wrong + it really was the 9th.

    • Really? What if the NL scores four in the bottom of the 8th.. They make them play the bottom 9 anyway? GET YOUR POOP IN A GROUP

  26. This game has made me all sad. Americans get all nostalgic + melancholy with baseball. Time to button up. At least the AL is going to win. Unless this results in home field advantage for the Red Sox in the World Series. Crud.

  27. Jays in the ASG perfectly reflect the Jays’ season: batters 0 for 3 with an RBI; bullpen 2/3 IP and 2 K; and no contribution whatsoever from the starting pitchers.

    • Best comment of the season.

    • Amen, Shacket.

    • Yet Bautista pushed ahead the only run the team needed, so the metaphor is actually kind of bad at proving what you want it to prove.

      I yawn at your cynicism and will watch the rest of the second half with anticipation. Sure, it’s all unlikely to pan out for the Jays, but the Sox have collapsed before and it’d be awesome if it happened again. I want to see this team finish strong and let the chips fall where they may. If you get all bent out of shape, you win… what, exactly?

      • JC JB, he’s making a joke

      • I’m sorry I came across as one of the cynics. I acknowledge the reality of our sub-par starting pitching so far, but I can also keep hoping that each start will be the one that gets Dickey et. al. back on track. Also part of my point was that the bullpen has been fucking nails. I’m hoping that stays true. No matter, I’ll still be cheering my ass off 6+ more times at the Dome this year and watching on TV.

        • My bad. I don’t get jokes. Good on you. I wish I could make it to more games. Took my pops to one and got stuck in some ridiculous traffic crossing the border and in TO. Sure wish it were easier. As it stands I have to go to fucking Yankee Stadium or Bodymore for my close game options. I went to the games Lawrie (camera bay) and JoBau (wrist) got hurt in, so fuck Yankee Stadium.

          And fuck Farrell.

          • No more Neil Diamond, please. The game already appears unhip to enough people without this lame and uncool tradition spreading like kudzu. Leave that crap in Boston where it belongs.

    • Encarnacion…is that u??

  28. Recap?

    • Balls thrown. Balls out. Outs made. Runs scored. Flags flown. Songs sung. Trespassers tackled.
      … that’s about it.

  29. Caught the end of the game at a bar last night. Did anyone else find it funny when it immediately went from Neil Diamond’s shitty Sweet Caroline to Enter Sandman?

  30. For everyone who hates Beeston and think his plan is wrong.

    Tim Leiweke’s opinion.

    Recently, he popped in on his only real competitor and pronounces himself smitten.

    “I love (Blue Jays president) Paul (Beeston),” Leiweke says, jumping up for emphasis. “I found him invaluable for his opinion on this organization. I’m looking at him like, ‘Six weeks I’ve been wasting my time. I should’ve just come to you my first day.’”

    This leads to the logical question — since they share the same landlord, wouldn’t it make sense for everybody to live in the same house?

    “We’re going to have a better relationship. (Hand sharply to thigh.) That’s. For. Certain. The Jays and this organization are going to be very committed to each other going forward. I want to do anything to be part of their world.”

    He’s careful that that not be construed as an imperial ambition.

    “Do I think we could run them better? Absolutely not,” Leiweke says, edging into one of his favourite themes — that the Raptors need to emulate the national scope of the baseball team. “Quite frankly, we’d be better off talking about them running some of our teams, rather than us running their team.”

    • Pretty interesting, it’s a marriage that would make sense. They could market each other in the off seasons and have athletes do charity work together.
      I’m sure it won’t go over well with some associated with this site though as the mere mention of hockey is enough to get you banned and maybe tortured.

  31. If I were in a coma since April 1st and just waking up to hear that the Jays had 4 all-stars I wouldn’t be able to make sense of their record.

    • I also would have guessed those All Stars to be:

      Morrow (or maybe Johnson)

  32. Sorry to everyone who likes to comment on Blackberry, but it looks like this “Stoeten’s Diaper” shitstain might wind up getting you all on the comment blacklist, as he has exhausted all other avenues in his sad pathetic life to continue on the manic, OCD driven, fucked-in-the-head quest to post garbage on here, as he’s been doing for, literally, years.

    I use harsh words because it’s frustrating, but actually, don’t be angry. Pity this poor motherfucker who can’t stop himself. It’s not sad and pathetic in the pejorative sense, it’s literally both in the most genuine way possible. (Like, honestly… an obsessive compulsion to post shit on a niche baseball blog??)

    Sorry for the inconvenience, if you run into any.

    • I understand and respect that this your site, and more than understand the pain in ass that trolls can be.

      But blocking out all blackberry users is a serous move. Would it not effect many people who are at the game who are following a game threat?

      Is there not another way? I noticed that sometimes when I post a duplicate comment, or if it is too short the system won’t allow it to post. Maybe certain words can be blacklisted by the comments software, or just from blackberry users? If something can be programmed to filter out some stuff maybe that’s a better way.

      Just trying to help, I figure the more people on this site the better.

      • It won’t block them from seeing the site, just commenting. I see what is being filtered out, and nothing yet, so it may just be Blackberry users in his certain area. I don’t know. I’ll definitely monitor it, but language won’t cut it. And, honestly, I say this in as nice a way as possible, but active commenters are such a small fraction of traffic that it’s not really as big a concern as it maybe sounds.

        • Is it possible to locate the PIN or serial number of the BlackBerry that is sending the comments, same way as you can obtain the IP address of a computer that is visiting your site/leaving comments? I’m not sure how your site is designed, so forgive me if I’m way off base with my theories.

    • How many people use BlackBerry’s anyway? ;)

  33. Lawrie’s move to second base… what about moving Reyes to second and acquiring a legit shortstop?

  34. Pretty decent ASG all in all, not the show on the field necessarily but for the fact that all Blue Jay stars except Edwin contributed in some way in the outcome with Gibbons manning the post beside Leyland. Good feelings all around, and the cause for some optimism for the second half of the season. Let’s go Jays.

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