All the nonexistent highs and dreadful feelings of being completely fucking lost in the 2013 Toronto Blue Jays season can be yours again– and all in one afternoon! It’s the Blue Jays themed corn maze at Cooper’s Farm in Zephyr, Ontario!

Put yourself in Alex Anthopoulos’s shoes as you stumble blindly around corner after corner, slowly losing the will to live and ever hoping that the miserable fucking experience will finally, mercifully end!

Who’s up for some self inflicted psychological torture!!!


OK, this is actually pretty seriously cool, and is obviously took a lot of work by some terrific-sounding folks. They describe themselves thusly:

Known for our community supported agriculture (CSA) weekly produce basket program, Cooper’s CSA Farm & Maze is a market garden, family-owned farm. We produce a wide variety of the best quality vegetables using sustainable and ethical  farming practices.

So check it out if you’re in the area. The maze opens August 31st, and admission is eight bucks.


Via @Cut4.

Comments (36)

  1. As a guy that grew up on a family farm in rural Ontario, this totally KICKS ASS! I wish I was closer, to go check it out.

    Well done.

  2. “Mr. Grady, you WERE the caretaker here.”

  3. It’s great that stoeten finds these gems that broke 2 days ago. And the score is actually paying you for this? Where do I sign up?

    • Well, you start by putting in 3+ years writing a free blog, building up a following and then having a major media company purchase the guaranteed pageviews your popularity brings and negotiating it into a fair paying job.

      You probably don’t sign up by being a cockbag in the comments section of a sports blog.

      Plus, hey, we should just be happy that something actually got posted on a Friday around here. 2013, you guys.

    • Aww, poor furball. Did you not like me calling your other comment dumb?

    • That’s a ballsy comment from behind a computer screen. I agree the Score needs more people like you! Why don’t you leave your full name, address, phone number and twitter handle – and I’m sure someone will be in touch.

  4. There’s a “Shining” joke in here somewhere…

  5. “Put yourself in Alex Anthopoulos’s shoes as you stumble blindly around corner after corner, slowly losing the will to live and ever hoping that the miserable fucking experience will finally, mercifully end!

    Who’s up for some self inflicted psychological torture!!!”

    This made me laugh way too hard

    • If there is one person that wants this season to be over more than anyone else, it is definitely AA. Problem is no matter what moves he makes in the offseason, he’s not winning anyone back until the season gets going again and the some wins starting piling up.

      Just to be clear, i’m pro AA, i just think there’s alot of congested fans out there that are gonna shit on anything he does.

      • Hopefully he improves the team alot

      • If without emotion, you look at the moves made,at the time they were made it’s hard to fault them ,logically.
        A lot of players shining at different times, just not at the same time.
        EE and Bautista are allstar calibre players.
        When healthy, so is Reyes.
        Could Lawrie keep up the current production over a full year?His defense is allstar stuff.( and fuck off putting him at second)
        Is Rasmus finally getting TLR out of his head?( numbers suggest he’s top 5 in CF)
        What can a healthy Cabrera produce?

        • Unfortunately the vast majority of fans are not highly logical Spock-like beings. They are more akin to an inbred, mentally-deficient, banjo-playing idiot trying in vain to hump a doorknob.

  6. All AA can do at this point is damage control as professionally as possible and hunker down hard for the 2014 draft, make sure his scouts are not fucking around considering they are going to have 2 picks in the top 11.

    The core of the Jays right now is good enough to last for the next 3-5 years with tweaking every year like any other club, but the bulk of their best prospects are in the low minors and that could be supplemented with whoever they draft next June creating a new homegrown core in 5 years time

    • While he’s at it, maybe AA can send a memo to Gibby advising him to show some balls and fight to the bitter end instead of sitting in his mumu rubbing his hairy fucking balls. I fucking hate quitters!

  7. “Well, I can’t find the exit, but I DID find Melky’s hamstring…”

  8. Hey were Jays fans we have been conditioned to this. With a FA signing and a couple of trades every time AA rings the bell we can spend the winter wipeing the drool off our chins.
    I said fawk it I’m going all in, I’m buying a Sunbrite telly so I can sit outside and watch our team just kick ass. I’m going to play it loud so I can piss off my Red Sox neigbour.
    Life is gonna be good!

  9. If there’s one area the Jays need to get better at, it’s evaluating the talent of young players on limited play time in the MLB. They’ve been burned a lot by young players who they only gave limited playing time to and dealt early because of roster depth or whatnot.

    Jayson Werth is classic example, but recent examples like Yan Gomes hold well too. Gomes only played 43 games for the Jays, his #s weren’t good, but 43 games. Now he’s putting up 2 to 3 x the WAR as our starting catcher while serving as a backup utility.

    It seems like when the Jays give due diligence to young players, it ends up for the better. Thames for example played almost 150 games for the Jays, put a slash line of something like .250/.300 with 15 HRs. Plenty of AAAA guys toiling in the minors and waiver pickups capable of those #’s so they dealt him while he was still of some value and it has paid off well. Thames got ample time to show what kind of talent he was.

    Can argue the same for Snider, although his story is quite a bit different considering his talents and player development.

    This is why I hope Sierra gets a few looks the rest of this season. Hes right on that 50 game mark and the Jays have OF depth. Likewise, I hope they give Pillar lots of looks. Even Gose hasn’t played nearly as long as someone like Thames did.

    Cooper is another player who I could see become successful down the road, but his situation was a bit different due to the injury he sustained.

    • Jayson werth

      A different god damn regime

      • Hency why I said a classic example – not from this current regime – but it’s a mistake that’s made by all organizations during all times (not singling out the Jays)

        Notice I also said the Jays – not AA – have made this mistake a lot. Probably didn’t read it thoroughly before you commented

        Just seems that during AA’s tenure when he has given guys a long look it has paid off, when guys have been given shortleashes it’s backfired. I compliment AA on that. his patience. Bautista is probably the ultimate example of being rewarded with a young-ish player (was 27, right on the cusp). Bautista’s first 50 games were nothing special, then he started to heat up in the second half of his second year and the rest is history.

        Arencibia on the other hand could be the ultimate example of a guy given so much play time, with the thought that after 300 plus games he will morph into something more than what we already know he is

      • oh he wasn’t on the jays no one mentioned regime

    • I agree that the thing looks bad, and said as much in the post above this one, but let’s not put Yan Gomes’ plaque in the Hall of Fame just yet.

      • never once implied he was becoming a HOF’er or even a regular starter by any stretch – I envision Gomes as a utility player his whole career

        simply just saying that 50 games, hell 75 games, is not enough time to evaluate a talent within an organization especially young talent

        and that with fans calling for AA’s head and asking him to make drastic moves I hope he doesn’t cut bait on some of the young talent, like a Gose, until they’ve been given lots of time to show what they are capable of

        Lawrie this year, and Colby’s stretch last summer, prime example – you could be complete dogshit for 2 months and then have one absolutely insane 6 week run that suddenly makes you think this person might actually be of use – guys like Gose, Sierra, and Pillar haven’t played enough games to have that time to go on an insane tear – they may never have that tear and that’s fine, but need to see what sort of a hot spell they are capable of having

        • Oh, I know you didn’t. I just don’t think it’s out of the question that this year is just an outlier for him, and I certainly don’t think that you can quite call it 50 or 75 games when they’ve had him in the system all the way up.

  10. Buck & Tabby should film a bit for Baseball Central where they go into that maze together. Something tells me they’d be unable to find there way out and end up spending the night, shivering together in front of a fire made from corn stalks – followed by Blair Witch Project style horrors.

  11. You prove yourself in the show nowhere else your minor league numbers are just that MINOR. If a club is developing players properly ie players that can count ie know how many are out whether my run means anything Hitting cutoff right base to throw to etc stuff they should have learned in little league.

    It was only one at bat but not the only one hes failed to lay down and not picking on him he is 22 But for chrissake he should be bunting one at bat a game in the minor leagues as it should be a major part of his game. If teams have the threat of a bunt they come in which makes his bat better and with his wheels if he could just get a bunt down its a hit steal second steal third Christ steal home.
    I think Farrells comment is asinine who drafts players and then doesn’t develop them but by history of the jays in 20 years especially recently either they cant draft or cant develop them.

    Jp weakness was his defence after his time in the minors you would think they could improve it is it better or the same.

    And im sure they are working at it but in sports results are the key. I like AA and what he has done but like I said results are the key so fa rwhat was a 80 -85 for the last 18 yrs ma is now a 60 -70 win team

  12. For fuck I just drove by Zephyr the other day. I would’ve gladly stumbled around in that corn pile for awhile.

  13. Jays could have a team outing in Zephyr to all walk through the maze together. Just as they all go in, someone holds back Bautista, EE, Reyes, Rasmus, Lawrie and the entire bullpen (sans Oliver) and then a giant boulder is moved over the entrance. Later, it’s discovered that the maze was built without an exit.

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