boogaloo

Start with the important stuff and get all super cereal about it? Don’t make me larf. We’re kicking off this week-ish of half-assed year-in-review posts in the best and least self-congratulatory way possible: with a case of the zanies! Or, in English, with a look back at the best of a bunch of stupid/fun shit we posted to help lift our spirits over the course of a dismal season on the field for the Jays.

Shall we?

Pre-Season

Zaun VDayMore relevant now than ever, back in January friend of the blog Ben Johnson pushed back at the then-burgeoning Yes We Canseco movement as he looked into whether the former Blue Jay– and noted author!– Jose Canseco could actually, realistically make good on his many Twitter threats to take a run at the seat of the potentially displaced “Rod” Ford and become Toronto’s next mayor. Hilarious, right? Except for how, y’know, this now sounds about a kabillion times less embarrassing for the city than the current sludge.

Colby curled.

The Zubes helped make February just a little brighter for all of us with a set of hilarious Jays-themed Valentine’s Day cards (with special appearance from Dat Ass), and followed up with even more of them later that same week.

Mark Behar treated us to a Ricciardi-era Jays-themed comic that never was.

Not long after the Jays got together in Florida for the start of Spring Training, they all got their official photos taken, so I had some fun with picture day, and then returned later with some more half-assed ones.

Jose Reyes danced with the Dunedin grounds crew, and R.A. Dickey tweeted a pic of him as a kid, playing for the Blue Jays in full-on ca. 1986 pullovers. Ahh, optimism.

March wasn’t even over yet, but Dave Burrows was already sick of the Jays’ insufferable advertising campaign.

Meanwhile, Vernon Wells decided to go ahead and torch whatever remained of the sympathy Jays fans might have for him by telling New York reporters that he could hardly hide his smile at becoming a Yankee, saying that he had quietly been a fan of theirs all along.

April

The giddiness of early April would never come close to being recaptured– not even during the club’s big mid-season winning streak– and we were excited for no one more than reigning NL Cy Young winner R.A. Dickey, which is demonstrated quite clearly by this look at the magical physics of an ace. Ugh.

When Opening Day arrived, Scott Johnson was ready, putting together a thread full of GIFs of the festivities, culled on the fly. Of course, it would only take nine (or… maybe ten) to sum up J.P. Arencibia’s disastrous night.

While I may have made a faux pas with the lame Anchorman reference in the title, I still have a long way to go to reach the level of awfulness achieved by the piece of shit in this video of a fight from the 500 level during what the YouTube clip says is the season’s second game, but which was clearly the opener.

Craig Robinson gave us an incredible Colby Rasmus hair cloak.

Scott Lewis decided to write some headlines for the local media, and… uh… they’re entirely perfect.

A fan was captured while exiting an early-April game, but not before he did something everyone who was witnessing the Jays’ play on the field at the time wanted to do: he vomited fucking everywhere.

Around here we like to live by one simple rule: If Jon Morosi is going to troll the Jays, Trolololosi is going to troll him.

More awesome GIFfery, as Scott Johnson gave us all seven reasons to love Munenori Kawasaki.

The Jays’ Dominican contingent got wacky with a photo-op, while ol’ Gibbers– presumably not knowing that the cameras were on– went full Al Bundy down the front of his uniform, and a sign in Baltimore presciently, oddly summed up the season to date.

It took him twelve GIFs to tell the story of a mid-April game against the Orioles, but we could forgive Scott Johnson for taking up all that computing power, since he hilariously did it to the tune of Talkin’ Softball from The Simpsons.

Meanwhile, we closed a catastrophe of a month with a catastrophe of a jersey: a pre-2012 Mark “Beuhrle” one spotted at Union Station.

 

May

Find yourself a couple of cuties and give Scott Johnson’s Buck Martinez Soundboard a re-visit. Still. So. Good.

It wasn’t until the calendar turned to May that Melky Cabrera hit his first home run of the year, and blissfully unaware of how it was only going to happen twice more on the season, his teammates gave him the silent treatment.

Scott Lewis wasn’t the only one who took notice when Anthony Gose stole home in a game for the Buffalo Bisons, but he was the only one who made a GIF of it– at least around here. And it’s complete with evidence of Jake Arrieta totally not bothering to pitch from the stretch with a runner on third. Still, though! Excitement for Gose! Remember???

The Jays pulled out a big mid-May victory over the San Francisco Giants, but it wasn’t without a whole bunch of weirdness.

sandwichWe podcasted about my damn Costanza Moment.

Because the season had yet to crush our souls entirely, we– specifically Scott Johnson– put together all the best GIFs of the week only one time, and it happened here in mid-May.

Thanks to Johnson we finally learned what was inside the now Gatorade-drenched little book of English phrases that Munenori Kawasaki used when he charmed his way into our hearts with a post-game interview, and it turns out they were hilarious. “Another Japanese player on team named Kawasaklee? Ask Buck.”

It took a month before a GIF that Johnson and the Zubes put their heads together on would make it from a link in a Morning After post to blowing up the internet, but that’s what happened to the awesome visual approximation of Edwin Encarnacion taking the parrot for a walk. It would only take another three weeks before we found that someone had pretty much exactly taken the image in the GIF and made it into a t-shirt that they’d been selling a tonne of.

 

June

Kawasaki fever reached its zenith in June, I think. Or maybe I just stopped paying attention to this fucking team afterwards. Either way, Munenori’s version of O Canada was a hit! Hit enough, even, that Johnson dug up an old commercial he featured in for Nishi-Nippon Railroad, back in 2008.

Jose Bautista got himself involved in the Kawasaki video craze, posting a Vine video of him and Munenori doing some pre-game foam roller warm ups, which… uh… were kinda somethin’ else.

Proving that they’re as savvy as you’d expect a minor league baseball team to be when it comes to promotions, the Buffalo Bisons had themselves a Star Wars theme night, and it just so happened that Jose Reyes was “beamed up” in time for it. (It also happened that

The high point of the season, in terms of the Jays’ on-field play, the club swept the Baltimore Orioles to make it eleven wins in a row, and we used a bunch of GIFs to tell the story of that weekend– one that included Buck Showalter “ejecting” the umpires, a game-tying two-run home run off Kawasaki’s bat, Bautista getting chirped by Darren O’Day after a strikeout one day, then gesturing at him that he talks too much after blasting a home run off him the next. And more!

brieThough it turns out she’s a Dodgers fan, or something, Allison Brie of Mad Men and Community made a Vine video of herself at a Jays game. So… that’s… something.

The Zubes’ Morning After posts were a constant source of gold… y’know, when they happened. Late June gave us a fine example, made even finer by the collection of Dickeyfaces in the main graphic of this one, which also coincided with the quiet return to the lineup of Jose Reyes– and therefore, if you think about it, pretty much the end of the Jays’ run as semi-serious competitors in 2013. Ugh.

Of course, it’s not just Dickey’s face that we saw there, as R.A. himself realized in late June, tweeting about his uncanny resemblance to a certain fast food chain monarch.

Though we didn’t actually post about it, and though it’s a saga that has gone on longer, and more hilariously than any of us could have believed, it was June when we were all introduced to the Duncebats. And oh, aren’t our lives so much richer for it. Scott Johnson reviews how they earned a special place in our hearts by way of these three tweets: one, two, three. Sweet delicious gold. #smartenup

 

July

This may be a genuine story and not just LOLz, but J.P. Arencibia called out media members Gregg Zaun (over his alleged P.E.D. use, among other things) and Dirk Hayhurst for being too critical on him. I mean… come on, that’s hilarious.

Arencibia showed up again in some assorted weekend thoughts I shared at one point in June, after he admitted on Jim Bowden’s Sirius XM show that he’d lobbied Paul Beeston to get Rogers-paid broadcasters to stop criticizing him. I also railed quite nicely about fans who get overly negative (really? me?) and the wholly inappropriately-placed Ted Rogers statue outside Rogers Centre, so that’s fun too!

JPAsavageAaaand, of course, not long after all this, Arencibia quit Twitter in a huff. Amazing.

In terms of non-Arencibia July weirdness, Feminist Jose Bautista was a thing.

Jose Bautista joined Kevin Millar and Chris Rose on Intentional Talk on the MLB Network (in a Lo Viste shirt!), and… I thiiiink threw Ronald Belisario under the bus.

The Jays talked to AUX about their walk-up music. Or, in the case of Colby Rasmus, about getting comfortable at the plate with thoughts of big trucks, big bucks, and spittin’ tobacca.

Sometimes you eat the Delabar, sometimes the Delabar eats you. It was the latter in late July, as Steve Delabar gave us a whole lot more excitement that Alex Anthopoulos did at the trade deadline, throwing an immaculate inning against the Oakland A’s. Scott Johnson posted a GIF of all nine of the pitches it took for him to mow through three A’s hitters.

 

Post-Season (Because, Let’s Face It, The Season Was Pretty Much Done By August Anyway)

Longtime readers will remember that we always kept tabs on Marty York, and this year he resurfaced in these pages, among other things “reporting” that Alex Anthopoulos would be fired at season’s end. How’s that working out?

A farm in Zephyr, Ontario, recreated the experience of the 2013 Blue Jays season with a claustrophobic, presumably inescapable hedge maze. Uncanny.

Parkes popped in to recount the amazing story of a Rogers Centre interloper and the hilarious empathy of the police who dealt with him.

Beest. Tattoo. Ever.beesttattoo

Munenori Kawasaki and Mark DeRosa showed up on the MLB Network’s Intentional Talk, growing the legend of Kawasaki even farther.

In mid-September, as the season was winding down, we spotted some great old pictures of the models of other proposals for the stadium that became SkyDome. Check them out again, and keep reminding yourself it could have been a lot worse.

Not exactly zany, per se, but there was some tasty front office intrigue in September, as Bob Elliott posted a story in the Toronto Sun suggesting a battle for influence between Anthopoulos lieutenants Tony LaCava and Dana Brown. We got the excised sentence, which readers had originally spotted and noticed had been cut. Elliott later clarified that his source had recanted.

Jack Morris as Zack Morris. It happened.

And lastly, uh… Charlie Sheen? Jose Bautista? Cincinnati?

 

Main image still via @ItsDanielGeorge.

Comments (84)

  1. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness. Pretty much sums it up. But hey, at least we had fun.

  2. It was an absolute pit of a season, but Kawasaki provided some lighter moments that were quite enjoyable.

    Looking ahead, if the Jays want Tanaka, here is a contract offer that might land him.

    Lets say it going to take 7yr at $18m per to get a deal.
    Front load the deal so that it is 22-22-22-18-14-14-14 for the seven years.
    Give him an opt out option that he can exercise after year 3 or after year four.
    Jays get him for a run from 2014-15-16
    He has the option to re-enter the free agent market at age 28 or 29
    when he would still be young enough to land another 7year deal.

    If they think he would put them over the top, such a deal might
    be very attractive to him.

    • A deal would be back loaded not front loaded. Jays don’t have money in the books in the future – 2016 and beyond – and payroll is pretty high now and not likely to increase much without increased revenues – 150M was rumour for this year so 15M above what is committed.

      There is a 20M post that needs to be paid immediately I think? That would come straight off the books for 2014? Puts some teams without cash reserves / ownership commitment to drop 20M overhead on the guy out of the running?

      Not sure if any deal ever signed in MLB has been front loaded like that? Think it makes sense if you have payroll room and want to retain value of the player in the future and not handcuff yourself in the future. Would have made sense for the Jays if they had signed FA last year rather than trade for guys and have Reyes or others with less money at end of deals since they could have afforded to front load maybe?

      • Rogers and the Blue Jays can do whatever the hell they want to do.
        It is just a matter of will.
        This business of “they don’t have the money” is pure unadulterated crap.
        They have it if they want to spend it.

        • If you were a business do you think it would be a good idea to spend more money than you make? We aren’t privy to the financials of the club so dont know revenues and profits. Just because the parent company has lots of money doesn’t mean they are going to spend it on a losing investment. A company with the “will” to lose money would not last very long. They can do whatever the hell they want to do – whatever the hell is make money balancing expenses vs revenue (and the ties revenue has to winning).

          • I like the idea. It’s “AJ-esque” and it gives him the chance if he’s raking to jump to the Yankees (let’s face it, they all go there eventually) and make a shitload more $$. It also gives the Jays 3 years of decent starting pitching to match up with:
            a/ The 3 good starters they have now and b/ the Sanchez’ Stromans and other prospect pitchers they have that will be ready in 2-3 years.

            • Except that if Tanaka becomes a number 1 starter, he opts out and the Jays spent just under $90M on 3 years of Tanaka. If hes a 2 or 3 he’ll likely opt out after 4 years ($104M) which is still an overpay, and if hes a 4 or 5 then they blew almost 150M on a bottom of the rotation arm.

              The deal guarantees the Jays overpaid unless he is an ace.

              • OF COURSE it would be an overpay.
                That’s why Tanaka might take it instead of going to the Yankees or Dodgers.
                Sheesh!

                If the Blue Jays win a championship in that 2014-16 window,
                would the overpay not be worth it?

                There is risk. If he gets hurt they’re on the hook for the whole amount.
                But if he doesn’t, he’ll be gone after 3 or 4 yr.

                If the don’t overpay somebody, they’re going to have the same number
                of championships as overpays. ZERO.
                The key thing is to make sure they are overpaying the right guy.

    • +1 pls forward to AA

  3. And let’s not forget the weirdness that was Howard Eskin.
    Bautisa traded for Brown.
    Offers made by the Jays for Chooch.
    Someone claiming to be Elliot Freidman saying don’t discount Eskin credibilty.
    FML for wasting time on Eskin.He goes into my Kevin Gray file of worked up,bullshit rumours.

    • It wasn’t only that someone claiming to be Friedman made it potentially credible. Talk to football people.

      • Was that the first and only time the person named “Elliot Freidman” ever posted? He sure seemed genuine, but I suppose if you’re going to post a bullshit rumour you might as well dress it up.

        • I know that the real Friedman is a reader– or at least has been in the past. Rare that he comments, but I’m pretty sure he’s either done so before, or at least emailed.

          • @ Stoeten

            I checked with the football people,they said he has some of the best information on football but they also said don’t trust what he says about baseball. He constantly makes up shit,just to get a rise out of the fanbase.He then reads the reactions to the rumours he made up and has a good laugh.
            That Eskin,what a card.
            A laugh a minute with him.

  4. Elliot may go into the Gray file also if his “Hayhurst is moving on and Morris may not return” stuff.
    More of FML for wasting time on bullshit rumours.
    I’m a sick puppy for reading everything Jays.
    Can’t stop it though,it’s a compulsion.

    • Yup

    • I also suffer from this.

    • I don’t believe anything that Elliot / the Sun says. How this guy made it into the baseball hall of fame is a head scratcher – seems to have little journalistic integrity and seems to just make stuff up. Rightly or wrongly I do give credit to Griffen and the Star though. Davidi is good too.

    • Anyone else heard anything about this? Hayhurst did playoff work, so maybe there’s something there.

      But you would have thought Morris would have been signed for more than a year?

  5. is there any other player in mlb that has over the last few years or history more retribution dingers so to speak then Jose? ive lost count and recollection of how many times he has been thrown at or what have you only to come right back and smash the shit out of the ball. Ivan Nova was my most memorable :) though the O’Day is special as well.

    on a side note is it wrong if that turns me on?

    • Yeah Jose gets jacked up and performs when he is pissed while some others don’t. Good thing or he would go into a slump everytime the ump calls a borderline pitch a strike. Maybe him harnessing that has something to do with blossoming late?

      You would have to figure over history this has happened by some one else much more, they don’t throw at guys with near the frequency they used to it seems.

      IMHO the righteousness of you being turned on by Macho manly action doesn’t seem like appropriate discussion for a baseball blog.

      • IMHO the righteousness of you being turned on by Macho manly action doesn’t seem like appropriate discussion for a baseball blog.

        1 – feminist jose bautista would be upset with you implying that being able to channel your energy/emotions for the better of yourself and those around you is a macho manly action

        2 – being ‘turned on’ does not specifically imply that i am sexually aroused though it definitely gets me excited and the blood flowing in anticipation of a new season

        3 – why would that comment not belong here

        • I never mentioned anything sexual and maybe the righteousness of getting turned on by Jose jacking bombs after being thrown at is appropriate discussion for a baseball blog. It is mancho manly action because of the retribution aspect that you mentioned – alpha male type thing.

          • im just bored and trying to drum up my own excitement for the new season no offense meant and none taken. heres hoping for a better year; cheers

  6. The new CBA has some weirdness that has played out with FA. Seems weird the players association agreed to a system where the high end talent gets paid less on FA market because teams have to lose their draft pick. And now we see trades to rights to spend money to sign internationals which is weird too. When are they just going to have a second draft for the internationals and Asians who aren’t under contract in their home leagues? And the signing bonus thing in MLB amateur draft a head scratcher, how do they come up with this stuff and why not just have a set bonus for every pick and that is what is paid out rather than all this signability gaming etc?

  7. Seems like contact expectations for Jiminez are low – 12M / year over 4-5 years are rumours – similar to Nolasco who doesn’t seem as good. Bit of a head case though with ups and downs. Maybe the draft compensation really lowers market for these guys and Jays can capitalize only giving up second rounder? No other teams with protected pick seem in the running for these two?

    Yankees may be in on him? I hope Yankees and Dodgers pay up for Tanaka and Garza with no draft pick loss. Cant see Texas being players and Sox wouldn’t give up pick so much? Cubs in on Tanaka for long term but not Garza. Jiminez, Santana? Yanks have already lost 3 picks signing McCann, Ellsbury, Beltran but gained 2 losing Granderson and Cano so they lose 1 pick so far? Maybe they are in same boat as Jays only losing second rounder if they sign a guy?

    • Definitely the draft pick.

      Jack Moore wrote about it at Sports On Earth today. http://www.sportsonearth.com/article/66230816/?tcid=tw_share

      Swisher was looking for a Werth-like deal last year, ended up at 4/56. Bourn was looking for an Upton-like one and ended at 4/48. Great free agent deals, given where the market is going.

      It’s hard to say anything for certain about this club, but I have zero doubts that they’ll be going very hard after at least one of the remaining guys for exactly this reason. They didn’t save all their bullets for this long just to do nothing. Whether they land one or not is hard to say, but I could see the Jays getting an Ubaldo on a deal that makes the Twins’ one with Nolasco and the Royals’ with Vargas look especially awful. Could be wishful thinking, though. More wishful thinking: I’ve heard whispers that the Jays like Tanaka a LOT more than they’ve let on. I’m sure that doesn’t change anything– it’s more about the financial means and his desire than anything, at this point– and I still don’t expect them to land him at all, but it wouldn’t shock me if they’re far more involved than people expect.

      • Thanks for the link Andrew – good read.

        Crazy the players association agreed to this system and the top players are getting shafted in FA negotiations losing all kinds of money. Bigger incentives for top players to sign extensions before they hit FA – will we see less top level FA hit the market in years to come? Seems likely but would think the rules will change next CBA go around?

        Mets and Mariners I guess are two teams with protected picks may be in the running too.

        Now I am fantasising about the Jays going after Jiminez, Santana and Drew ala Cleveland and Boston last year and am considering a post new years eve bender stretching out until the signings to celebrate world series lock pre-emptively.

        • I don’t think they’re exactly getting shafted– they’re still pretty good contracts– but yeah, I’d expect them to try to fix it the next opportunity that they get. And I’m not sure why this was so unforeseen, it’s just I guess somebody had to draw the short stick if the league was insistent on having clubs lose picks when they sign other teams’ free agents. Not sure why it wouldn’t be good enough to just compensate the team that loses the player and give no penalty to the signing team, but I guess they didn’t think of that.

  8. Little nitpick, but the fight when the girl threw the guys glasses was definitely not the opener. Can’t remember what game it was exactly, but I was about 10 seats away from it.. at the home opener I was sitting in the 100 so if it had happened then I wouldn’t have been able to witness it.

    • Hmm. Maybe one of the Boston games? It said from game two, but the attendance totals make it look like it’s definitely more full than the 26-odd thousand supposedly there. I could be wrong on that, though.

  9. Hand me your HoF ballot Stoeten

    • I’m not saying a word about that stuff this year (any more than I already have). Decided that if I really think the writers have made the whole thing completely irrelevant– which I do– I might as well act like it.

  10. http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2013/12/yankees-plan-to-incur-penalties-for-2014-international-spending.html

    From a Yankees point of view, if next year is a quality year in international prospects, then this is absolutely a brilliant move.

    Better yet, why not spend $40 million in one international year, then just sit out for two years?

    I know, I know, because you actually have to have spots to play for all those kids. But still. You could time it with a year in which you give up your draft picks in free agency, and just fill their spots with international kids.

    • There was talk about the Cubs potentially doing this too. Makes sense.

      • It’s just so blatant though. Essentially what they’re saying is, “we’ve got enough money to pay the penalties and get the players we want.” I guess if you argued that the system is in place to prevent exactly that kind of misuse, they would counter with “well AA’s been gaming the system since nov 2009″. Makes AA’s deal to trade Morel for cap allowance look so lame.

        • Was Moran, the Rule 5 guy, not Morel.

          Also: no, it doesn’t make it look lame at all. Very possible that the Jays don’t agree with the Yankees that this is the year to jump in so heavily, or are going to be light on international spending specifically because a team like the Yankees is out there pushing everyone else around, or because they think they can spend all that money better elsewhere. Would be nice to see them try a thing like this, in the abstract, but I’m OK with the $15-million in penalties going to Major League salary at this point– and being used to prevent the club from dealing current prospects.

          The Yankees have a surplus after spending a couple years trying to get under the luxury tax threshold (which they may blast through anyway) and because of how the new CBA limits spending in areas like this not covered by the luxury tax system. I’m OK with them taking that path and then spending like this to compensate, frankly. Let them go nuts on lottery tickets.

        • Is it a misuse of the system though or rather just the system playing out as intended? They are using their money and are paying the agreed upon penalties – the tax goes back to the other teams no? – and even if not violators are paying double

          Used to be no limit on this so it is having an direct impact with teams under limit signing for essentially half the price and bad teams getting to sign more guys at that price

          Don’t understand why they just don’t have a draft or add the guys to the existing draft each year and have slot bonuses that are static without negotiation. Lots of things at play with MLB finances at hard to understand from a high level.

          • It’s headed towards a draft. You can see it in the way that MLB doesn’t give a set overall pool number for each team, but does it by slot. When the Jays traded Moran to the Angels they got one of LA’s draft slots, valued at $280K, or whatever it was. If you look at the way the slots are setup, it’s basically just like the draft (four rounds of slots given out based on reverse order of the standings with declining values for each slot)– only for now it’s still a free-for-all in terms of how the pool money is used. Doubt that’s going to be the case for long.

            Ben Badler has some good stuff on it at BA:
            http://www.baseballamerica.com/international/2013-2014-international-bonus-slots/
            http://www.baseballamerica.com/international/how-trading-international-pool-space-works/

            As for the Yankees not using the system as intended, I think that’s what’s happening, but that’s the fault of MLB and the PA for not accounting for this kind of loophole when they created it. Good on teams for exploiting it– just as it was good on the Jays for exploiting the way they were able to get draft picks under the old system, and how they get extra pool money in the draft with all the college seniors they have been picking in recent years.

            • ok I suppose it’s not the worst thing to ever happen. I mean, the number of players they sign is finite and they still incur signing penalties in the upcoming year. Also in retrospect it may get the other 28/29 teams to get off their asses and get the draft started

  11. Where can I find a gif of those angry dudes’ missed high five? That shit’s hilarious.

  12. Anyone remember the website that keeps track of the hall of fame vote thus far, based on writers who have already published their ballots?

  13. April: It’s still early.
    May: It’s still early.
    June: It’s still early.
    July: It’s still early.
    August: It’s still early.
    September: Okay, the Jays actually are this awful.

  14. Does our Dominican contingent help sway the decisions of Jubaldo or Santana if it comes to a more reasonable deal that is offered from a few teams?

    There is no reason for us to believe the Jays are not plotting away and ready to react when they feel is appropriate. Why all the hate for AA? Man people swung off his jockstrap and then last year happened. Seriously folks no one could predict what would eventually transpire. For those that say you saw it coming, I’m willing to bet you are the most negative fucks there is regardless of what you are looking at. There is minimal chance the roster stays as currently constructed. Barring shit happening we will have a new solid name in our rotation and possible upgrade at 2nd.

    Melky will be MLB comeback player of the year.

  15. Stoeten!

    Consuming a fuckin Montreal Smoked on national television when it could have been a tallboy nectar of the gods?

    That was the low point of the season. Horseshit.

    • The blog was sponsored by Coors Light all season and I was drinking a tallboy of Budweiser at the time, so I was OK with it.

  16. http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/the-crowd-speaks-masahiro-tanakas-contract/

    If Tanaka goes for 6/$120 mil or 7/$154 mil as predicted here (this does NOT include the $20 mil posting fee), do you still want him?

    Note: in order for the Jays to come out on top value-wise with that contract, Tanaka would have to post an *average* of 3.5-4.0 WAR per season for 6-7 seasons, including any potential injuries. Darvish has posted an average of 4.8-4.9 WAR thus far. (Depending on fWAR or bWAR)

    • I don’t really like the chances of any pitcher posting 6-7 consecutive 3.5-4 WAR seasons, so no, but I’m not sure you’ve factored in the increasing value of a win over the next few years.

      • Should clarify, it’s more the consecutive thing that is making me say no. There are pitchers that I would bet on putting up the 21-28 WAR you’re talking about over 6-7 years (I’m thinking Kershaw, Price, Darvish, Hernandez, etc.). Probably not Tanaka though.

    • Really wouldn’t bother me if the Jays made a massive overpay at this point in time. If they want to go for it, they’re probably going to have to overpay either in money or prospects to get the pitching to make it happen. Unless there’s some incredible trade in the works, I’d rather see money go.

      Plus it seems these days that almost no contract is unmovable.

    • The dollars-per-WAR in a vacuum stuff is just not very compelling. Yes, they ought to do that.

  17. This is a great article, that one of you guys posted above:
    http://www.sportsonearth.com/article/66230816/?tcid=tw_share
    The Indians got great deals on Swisher and Bourne, since they both required draft pick compensation, and the Indians pick was protected. The Jays could really try to parallel that and make runs at Jiminez and Santana. Even if neither guy is elite, there is value is someone who will give you 200 IP.

    Also, according to MLBTR, AA now says odds of acquiring an SP in free agency vs trade is now 50/50. Like to hear that. So much rather see the Jays overpay for an SP in money than prospects at this point. Let the farm rebuild a little, and maybe you’ll have some nice pieces to move (or promote) this time next year.

    • AA probably realized trading away more prospects would really harm the future of this team. Signing a FA has always been a smarter play for this team at this time.

      • One hopes, but let’s not assume AA is sure on that just yet. I really want to believe it, though, but if he strikes out on a free agent starter, I could still see him biting the bullet and trading for one.

        • Yeah. I feel like they really do have to get someone one way or another, as much as they say they’d be fine with Dickey, Morrow, Buerhle, Hutch, Stoman etc.

          if they don’t acquire another SP how bad would letting JJ walk look?

          • Completely fine?

            • I disagree. The best reason for not giving JJ another chance seemed to be that the 14 million could be better spent elsewhere on starting pitching.

              Maybe the Jays believe he’s not capable of bouncing back, and if so fair enough. But it was a opportunity to add more depth and all it cost was money. If your rotation has Morrow, stroman and Hutchinson in the back end, I think a flyer on JJ would be well worth it.

              The SP market has still barely moved though, so hopefully we will see the JJ money reallocated.

  18. Anything new on Aledmys Diaz?

    • Nothing that can be told here but if AA would just invest heavily in some god damn Cubans we could get on with spending Rogers money and know in the back of our minds we will have Cubans!

  19. Headlines for 2014:

    - Tanaka claims Kawasaki convinced him to Sign!

    - Jays start year 10 and 0

    - Goodbye Wilner and Good Luck in Japan.

    -Trade deadline lands Jays the right Price.

    - John Farrell’s Drug Charges will Stand.

    - EE Blasts 40th HR as Jays clinch AL East.

    - Brett Lawrie dominant as World Series MVP.

    - Andrew Stoeten shaves beard off and claims to love his DJF commenter’s during Drunken World Series Celebration.

  20. No mention of the Brett Lawrie/Morosi Get Lucky GIF?

    • I was gonna make a smartassed comment on that but I noticed you go by the name MC1 and all I could think of was rappers, terrorists and perhaps someone who adjusts my credit report .

  21. I tried to find it but could not. I think it was opening day when they were doing crowd shots and one guy was pretending to jack his friend off while an eighty year old lady sat next to them oblivious. I did have it PVRed but lost it.

    • In the future when you are preparing the court documents you should take into consideration that recording your Mother jacking off a friend is so 80′s.

      • All my friends did like coming to my house when I was a teenager, which was the eighty’s. Mom you slut.

  22. I shall now take my leave…Bless the Blue and beit Bird.

  23. More of the Soap opera that is ARod……

    http://nymag.com/news/sports/alex-rodriguez-emails-2014-1/?mid=nymag_press

    Is it just me or does it seem a little strange that the President of the Yankees would make PED jokes to a guy who has been continually accused of PED use?

    • Jeezus Ache Carisretta, I have notta an idea of the arotta unless he fucheth the old yankee march…the Arod speaketh such wealth…

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