Fun With Picture Day 2014!

Toronto Blue Jays Photo Day

Since the last time picture day rolled around (producing the gem you see above, and many others) theScore has switched their image service from Getty to Reuters, which made me worry a little that we might no longer have access to all the delights of the annual spring training ritual, which took place last week in Dunedin. But we’re in luck, as they’re all there in the new archive, and ripe for our own little annual tradition of making pithy comments about them. So let’s have at it!

 

PD-gibbons

“And that’s the hardest part. Today everything is different; there’s no action… have to wait around like everyone else. Can’t even get decent food – right after I got here, I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce, and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I’m an average nobody… get to live the rest of my life like a schnook.”

- John Gibbons, May 2014

 

PD-sanchez

All the ill-fitting hats in the world aren’t going to hide the fact that they chose keeping me over Syndergaard. Or the ears, apparently.

 

PD-nolin

Many people don’t realize this, but his face has been frozen like that since Nick Markakis tagged him back on May 24th.

 

PD-perez

Man, Tommy John surgery is great! I think I gained like 50 pounds on my fastball. (A “fastball,” of course, being a complete fast food order compressed together, rolled into a ball, and swallowed whole.)

 

PD-wagner

If I didn’t know that “NW” was for Neil Wagner, I’d tooooootally think it stood for “Non-descript White guy”.

 

PD-mcguire

Do y’all know how many cheeseburgers a $2-million signing bonus can buy? Because I do!!

 

PD-lind

Sorry, before we take this you just… it’s… uh… you’ve got just a little something on your face. Uh… nope. No, didn’t get it. Still there. Just… yeah… just a little something on there. You just… you want a mirror or something?

 

PD-colby

I call this one “Contract Year Menace.”

 

PD-romero

Guhhhrrrnnhhrnrnmmmmmghhuggh… uh… [long exhale] … Miss America, dude. Miss fucking America.

 

Images Rajai Davis via J. Meric/Getty; John Gibbons, Aaron Sanchez, Sean Nolin, Luis Perez, Neil Wagner, Deck McGuire, Adam Lind, Colby Rasmus, Ricky Romero via Kim Klement-USA Today/Reuters.

Comments (56)

  1. Lind looks like he gained a ton of weight.

    Also, Wagner looks like he’s about to murder you a la Taran Killam in that SNL skit.

  2. Davis isn’t on our team

  3. The way that Adam Lind wears his sunglasses, he should just shape his beard like Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart.

  4. Romero’s beard looks like bad photoshop.

  5. How effin huge is Colby’s neck? WTF??

  6. Lind looks like a psycho biker – who’s looking at you, deciding whether to shoot you or beat you to death.
    I’d run the other way if I saw Rickey coming at me with that look on his face.

    Rajah looked like he snuck into the Jays’ photo room when no one was around and took a selfie – and then ran like hell, laughing like a crazy bastard thinking about the reaction.

    • If you see Romero in a dark alley the best thing to do is stand perfectly still….he has a lot of trouble hitting a target

  7. What does it mean when Romero and Gibbons are the only two guys who look less fat than I thought they would? Everyone looks huge – weird camera angles.

    That Perez caption is gold.

    • …and even then, Gibbons looks half in the bag. Some catch him quick, he’s falling!

    • I definitely think the angles are weird. Even Nolin looks puffy in the middle, and he certainly is not.

      • You’re in Dunedin, correct? Have you noticed any drastic weight (gain/loss) change in any of the players?

        • I’m gone from there now. Will be posting some of that kind of stuff later today, or maybe tomorrow morning.

        • Yeah – Lind has a huge toilet (ass). But maybe that’s nothing new, I dunno.

      • Everyone’s hat looks awkward.

      • Camera looks like it was set too low. Looks like the photographer was focusing on the crest of the jersey instead of the subjects face (that, or he was too lazy to adjust the height of the camera for each player).

        MLB would be wise to invest more in this kinda thing, at the end of the day the perception of these ponies help sell the product.

  8. Holy shit, I’m almost speechless. This stuff is Photo Shopped from an episode of Cops…right?

  9. What’s with Ricky Ro’s beard?

  10. Deck McGuire should not look so happy, unless he’s completely lost his mind.

  11. Lind looks like he may have caught a mild case of down syndrome during the off season.

  12. alright boys, slouch your shoulders, stick your belly out and look dead inside.

    PERFECT!

  13. These guys look like prison escapees!

  14. Also regarding Romero: I think you hit the nail on the head: Miss America/Rima Fakih. Watching her walk out the door would definitely make it difficult to see straight, let alone throw strikes. Captain Obvious Statement: “She’s purdy.”

    http://www.examiner.com/article/miss-usa-rima-fakih-her-swimsuit-body-workout-secrets-photos

  15. Gibby’s hat position is already at mid season form, got his lifter placed there perfectly.

  16. Deck McGuire reminds me of Barry from American Dad

  17. Thank you for referencing Goodfellas, my favorite movie of all time.

    Deck MccGuire looks like SImple Jack.

  18. Ricky Ro is dating Kara Lang. Not a bad consolation prize.

  19. Colby says:
    “I must break you.”
    “You and your wallet.”

  20. Looking for Deck Mguires jaw line/ chin, let me know if found.

  21. Gibby looks like Rick from “Pawn Stars”

  22. The pain in Romero’s eyes is almost unbearable.

  23. Okay Stoeten,what’s the connection to you and DJF?

    http://www.83pictures.com/sportsbarheroes/

  24. You know it’s a weird looking group when Colby looks the most normal

  25. Just looked at last year’s edition and holy shit I had totally blanked on the fact that Henry fucking Blanco was on the team.

  26. Did Neil Wagner just pick up his Kelly Johnson mask from KJ’s old locker in Dunedin last spring or was there an off-season ceremony?

  27. Do I make you laugh? Am I here to fuckin amuse you? What- the -fuck is funny about me?

    Love the Goodfellas reference!

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