That was not exactly the best Home Opener I’ve ever been to last night, but it was still pretty fun, and refreshingly free of aggressive shit heads, at least where I was. So… I dunno, could be worse. And there’s some genuine promise to this Jays team, I think. ¬†Would maybe like to see them win some damn games, though.

Comments (475)

  1. Fuck YOU JACOBY!

  2. Really, nobody out west, preferably like Japan, wanted Ells?

  3. Free of aggressive shitheads unless you were in Sightlines in the 7th when about 5 drunk military guys snuck on, broke some glasses, scooped up free beer, & employees did nothing….b/c you know, these particular shitheads are protecting our lives apparently

  4. For fuck sake. Only Jeter gets that call. Dick.

  5. Apparently i should have prayed for a couple of shut down innings from the bullpen instead of some offense.

  6. Little dribbler and a bad call and things get dicey.

  7. I actually bought for the home opener series. Dickey shouldve pitched home opener, Dusty had no business starting yesterday or this year in my opinion.

  8. McCann should have never signed with the Yanks just for his beards sake. He’s one of those guys who needs one.

  9. Don’t like this Santos sighting, but gotta trust the gibster

  10. Santos. Better go take my blood pressure meds.

  11. Mr. Goggles did a decent job to get two outs. Elsbury and Jeter are never easy outs…

  12. Ugh
    I sense a wild pitch and a runner scoring

  13. Man I hope Santos is on cause he’s nails when he’s on

    • There was a piece out on Sergio a year or so ago that claimed his FB was among the MLB’s 5 hardest to pick up because his stride and release point are so long.

  14. I’m Ron Burgundy?

  15. wow that was awesome.

  16. MLB score tracker is dog-shit….what happened???

  17. that first slider to soriano was insane…88 mph and had a loopy break

  18. I feel like an NL with Goins and Diaz hitting 8/9. 2 guaranteed outs. Although the rest of the team isn’t going any better right now.

  19. So sweet Melky

  20. Sweet!


  22. He’s baaack!

  23. Note to AL pitchers: Don’t get it up on Melky

  24. fuck, Melky looks good.

  25. Melkman COMETH!!!!

  26. Holy Fuck,! Did Melky ever get on top of that one!

  27. It’s a Milk run!!!

  28. See yah, wouldn’t wanna be ya………

  29. And there’s the old Cletus!

  30. Cletus! Nice

  31. There’s my boy Colby! Bout time!

  32. Cletus! nice hit

  33. Wow!!!

  34. JB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  35. BLAM!

  36. Joey bats! Fuck I picked a good day to get day drunk

  37. The Bearded ONE SHALL NOT BE DIENIED!!!

  38. Sweet BAby Jesus! My prayers were actually answered! Guess I should pray more often eh boys and girls?

  39. This is turning into the exact opposite of what millions of people in NY* were thinking.

    *and of course a few trolls out there

  40. That had hair on it.

  41. Jesus. Does the ump play for the Yankees too?

  42. Oh man am I smiling right now

  43. The boys behind the plate were doing the parrot. Money.

  44. Last 2 strike 3′s were JOKES.

  45. Jays Lose: The Jays suck! Tear it down! Fire AA!

    Jays Win: Playoffs baby!

    Don’t you love April?

  46. Not a single fucking pitch in the zone there. Yeah, the boys punish the mistakes but this kind of umpiring is making me wonder why the hell MLB thought home run calls and bang-bang plays at 1st were the problem.

    • This is an interesting running spreadsheet of called strikes well outside the zone. Looks like the author may try and keep it up all season.

    • If they want to run themselves right out of a cushy job, just keep this shyte up. Grade A fucking embarrassing Umpiring to start this season. I wonder if this is their ‘suck attack” for getting the “Shitty Ump Exposer”, aka IR, implemented above their objections. You know someone out there is going to track the overturns per ump and keep that as a stat. Interesting who will be the worst offender (probably a junior guy), and who doesn’t get overturned at all (most senior). The guy in NY making the overturning the calls is probably the shop steward with a seniority list stickied to his monitor.

  47. Was that a five-ball walk?

  48. two Ks after… that’s okay, Melk and JBs blasts were like the cum-shot of a very key sex-scene in a porno movie

  49. 8-9 pitches well outside the zone were called for strikes fuck you ump. Do your job properly. Like encarnacion strikeout was way inside.

  50. Still don’t feel comfy w Sergio pitching lol..

  51. So those were strikes for yanks and a ball for us

  52. My boy Colby!!!

  53. Razzmatazz

  54. CLETUS!!!

  55. COLBY!

  56. Cletus new contract just went up by 1 MM

  57. Cletus! Fear the beard…ish…thing

  58. Damn that was beautiful to watch. I’ll miss him if he goes

  59. Drew Clutchison for the series victory tomorrow.

  60. that was a sweet catch

  61. If the ump is calling a big zone, Santos should at least try to put it somewhat near the plate.

    • He’s no worse than Phelps was. Santos hasn’t tried the 2-hopper through the right-handed batter’s box, though, and we know that’s a strike.

  62. GODDAM SANTOS!!! WHY U NO HAVE 1-2-3 INNING!!!!!????

  63. Amazing how difficult this game is when you don’t throw strikes.

    • The alternative with Santos appears to be grooving fastballs and praying that Rasmus lays out every time

  64. Santos.. why don’t you just load the bases and not keep us guessing????

  65. Call Nurse Karen quick! About to go into cardiac arrest.

  66. Santos is just trying to get himself into a high leverage situation.

  67. Wondering if Delabeard gets a shot at closing?

  68. Fuck I was a ball of tension till that was over.

  69. Yes!!!!


  71. Jays win. Time to get drunk.

  72. Good win.. Hopefully hutch gives us a good 6 tm n we take the series.

  73. ahhhh !

    Smells like,


  74. That shit the outfielders do with their fingers is fucking gay.

  75. Dickey just rocked out there today

  76. Wow, hell of a game today.

  77. Great win. Enjoy your Saturday everyone.

  78. What’s struck me so far that (apart from Dickey’s 1st start), the starters are working ahead better than last year. Dinner’s presence perhaps?

  79. Some seriously clutch pitching today.

  80. Where’s that Lizard dude, then?

  81. So that’s 3 good starts and 3 bad starts so far, lets keep the good ones going.

    So relieved to see the velocity on Dickey’s knuckler. He’s going to make or break this staff imo. If he can be like he was in 2011-2012 then that’s going to be a huge step in the right direction.

  82. Melky’s swing on that bomb was amazeballs.

  83. This is where we have to call out the negative suckholes – idiots who come on here making ridiculous comments. Anyone rememeber the moron who wanted to bet anyone ‘When’s the next time the Jays will be at .500 again?” Fuck you! The answer was tomorrow!

    • good call.

      fuck all you negative suckhole cocksuckers!!! you know who you are. go wash someone elses’ balls fuckers.

  84. They gotta start drug testing Jays Talk callers. EE in right field for Melky, wtf?

  85. Coming into the season, if you had told me this offense would be unable to score 5 runs in any of the first six games, but the club’s record would still be 3-3, I would’ve told you you were nuts, yet here we are. Fuck yeah. Just wait until the offense starts to put some multi-hit rallies together and starts scoring runs in bunches.

    Phelps was sure throwing cement mixer curveballs in the ninth and the boys did what you’re supposed to with those fat pitches. Good stuff.

  86. That was one of the most enjoyable (with some tense moments) Jays games and results in a long while.

    Also, I fucking hate Ellsbury. A bit less now that he’s not playing for Boston but still, massive hate.

  87. Fuck off, Parkes

    (For old times sakes)

  88. Way to many keyboard warriors.

  89. Experience at the game today:
    Was amazing Dickey pitched like he should pitch.

    A few notes, Colby Cletus rasmus has to wipe that stupid grin on his face before he gets demoted and Gose gets called up, guy cant hit a fukin beachball right now.

    Brett lawrie should stop high fiving people when they hit homeruns, until he can actually hit a fukin homerun ….. so moving forward Brett lawrie your banned from high fives the rest of your life.

    Thole does not know how to baserun.

    Dustin Mcgowan seen laughing and having a good time. how could you grin when you are making 1.5Million this year to shit the bed.

    Happy with the win .

    • It’s a week into the season, it’s a week into the season, he’s a catcher, and they’re allowed to have fun and enjoy their lives.

    • So this is the type of fan who attends opening weekends. I surmised as much.

    • You sound suspiciously like a Jays Talk caller.

    • Rasmus did hit a nice double in the 8th. He needs some more time to get locked in, but it’ll come. And Gose couldn’t hit the beach even if he was falling towards it.
      Maybe the smiles and high-fives are a sign of the players just being happy to be where they are. I don’t pretend to know everything but it’s definitely better to see Lawrie smiling and high-fiving when he’s struggling instead of pouting off in the corner.

    • moron

  90. Are you joking? Gose is awwwffuuulll. Guy cant even hit .250 with a .300 obp. I’ll take rasmus over him anyday of the week. Would like to see significant improvement from lawrie though

    • I’m not sure Gose can hit .250 with a .300 OBP in Buffalo for fuck’s sake.

      • As I thought…He’s hit .242 with a .319 OBP at Buffalo the last two years and has 22 SB with 14 CS for a brutal 61.11 SB%. He’s only 23, but he still has a lot to learn.

  91. Law’s latest on sanchez..its an insider ..but ill edit it so its not a cut and paste

    his raw stuff was the best I’ve seen from him. His fastball was an easy 94-96 mph with explosive late life, with hitters flinching twice

    plus curveball, mostly 80-81, very sharp with late bite, breaking down hard, with curveball rotation but the timing of a slider’s break.

    changeup was between average and fringe-average, 88-91, I’d worry about a pitch like that playing more like a BP fastball in the majors.

    Sanchez’ delivery has been a concern in the past and it’s not much different now — he still takes a short stride and is rather upright at his release

    That kind of delivery is more highly correlated with arm problems, like Taijuan Walker (who has a similar finish) has had this spring, and it also makes it harder to command the ball and to locate down in the zone.

    • warts and all, I’m erect

    • Not that, like, my erection has warts. Just that….you know…..Despite the warts that Sanchez has, I’m still erect.

      And by “erect” I mean, I’m excited to follow his progress through the minor leagues.

      Yes, I’m shit faced.


    • B-but only Toronto fans are assholes!

    • The main photo in that article is just epic. How could that guy not be embarrassed by dressing up like that?

    • Did anyone else see the SN telecast from Friday, I think coming back from commercial in the 8th I think (I am going to say bottom because the pun works best for the story), the camera was sweeping in from the 100 Level concourse towards the seats and down the stairs towards the field, and some dude played up for the camera by miming some grab-ass on a girl in the crowd like a Brett-Lawrie-in-training. No time for SN to cut away I guess, he played them perfectly. I would like that GIF as much as this 2012 classic:

  92. My cat drinks almond milk

  93. Now would this be labeled as poor command or poor control?

  94. SkyDome, once again becoming the unfriendliest of ball parks.

    This weekend, my children and I were turned away at the 100 level when we went to visit the Jays shop from the 500 level. When we got off the elevator, security wanted to see our tickets. When we told them we were coming down to check out the Jays shop, they turned us down and sent us back up the elevator, like the Draconian SkyDome days of yore.

    • You’re level 500 scum clearly, why should you be allowed to be in the 100s?

      Away with thee, peasant….


  95. Aheeeeeee…Go Hutch. These games have playoff feel to them.
    Leaving on a cruise today…hope the Jays are 8-5 when I get back.
    Win today
    2/3 from Next two series.

    It’s possible. The bats are gonna heat up

  96. Nice sunny day , going to the game hopefully the dome is open. Drew Hutchy is the man!!!

    Whats interesting is that if bags of shit not naming any names ( MORROW and DUSTY )
    Pitched any where close to the way Hutchy pitched his first game out and in spring training everyone would be quick to ‘jump for joy’ for Dusty and Morrow, but since it was Hutchy and he is who we thought he was, he gets no respect………. I propose a motion to demote Dusty and Morrow to Single A ball

  97. I agree, Everyone has to come to reality that Brandon Morrow should not be pitching in the major leagues moving forward.

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