Continuing our impromptu “You Be You” series, let’s have a look at something rather delicious that was posted over at Orioles Hangout, a Baltimore fan forum that features some delightfully unhinged ramblings, apparently. And, unsurprisingly, didn’t have a whole lot of love after last night’s big win for the Jays, Brett Lawrie, or his “supposedly Canadian” maple bat.
Take it away, “section18″ (everything [sic'd]):
I agree with you 100%. Lawrie has joined the CHEATERS Club in Toronto. With their supposedly Canadian maple bats and the guy who flashes signs in CF this will be a bad series for us. It is what it is. Toronto crushes the ball with some of the longest HR’S you’ll ever see. Their players know they are cheating and act like jerks on the field and in the dugout. Some day MLB will investigate. Their announcers even joke about their long HR’S in Toronto. They say on the air “Wow.” How did he do that?
Lawrie I believe hit his first HR of the season the last Sunday game recently at OP. He hit a homer to deep left field that went to the concourse area where fans walk just below the lower reserved seat section. It was like a lazer. I was at the game Rasmus hit the two out two strike pitch to tie the game off Hunter on Saturday night when they were here recently. I believe they said it was a high outside 97 mph fastball he pulled and crushed to right field. They were still talking about this HR a week after he hit it and they wondered how he pulled that pitch and hit it that far. The guy was a bust with St. Louis and gets traded to Toronto and suddenly finds his HR stroke just like Bautista and Encarnacion. You can google the story from last season or the season before when the Red Sox bullpen saw a guy in the CF seats flashing signs to their hitters. I think they had already hit several HR’S that game and Boston stopped the game and told the umpires who made the guy move. I noticed after the last HR tonight they hit Buck was looking out to the outfield it seemed a long time. We need someone from the team to sit out there in CF and look for the guy. On their next long HR Buck needs to ask to see the bat and have it checked. Not sure about the rule on this. I know the old pine tar story but this is different. I haven’t been watchingToronto closely this year when they bat to see what kind of bats they are using. Last year their HR guys were all using black bats. It’s harder to spot anything on a black bat.
Back to Lawrie. I’ve read and heard players talk about him and they say he is a real jerk and most players don’t like him.
Now, blithely painting with a broad brush when it comes to deranged fans is… kind of what we do around here, so I’m just going to go ahead and say that Baltimore fans are pretty clearly fucked in the head. Because that’s hilarious. Not that anybody needs me to point that out, of course, it’s just… man, the legs that ESPN’s half-baked Man In White story — aka “Worst Cheaters Evar!!!” — has managed to have is pretty astounding. Y’know, given that it was utter horseshit and about as statistically sound as the person above’s steaming C.H.U.D. of a mud monkey of a turd of a comment.
Crotch grab in the direction of commenter pastlives for the find. Image of the comment’s author (who might actually, literally, be the best) via Center Field Gate. [Not seen: tinfoil hat].