Let’s be perfectly up front about something here: I’m pretty shit-dickingly OK with swearing. I’m not trying to tsk tsk anybody for saying a naughty word or to harangue about delicate ears who may have been listening to tonight’s Jays game. Fuck that.

In fact, I’d love to have a more casual, conversational, real tone to what can be awfully cold, scripted, cookie-cutter TV broadcasts. Which also isn’t to say that I figure anybody ought to just be winging it — putting together three to four hours of live TV every night cannot be easy, so I try not to begrudge anybody too much (um… sort of) — rather, I’d just bet it would be way cooler if we could hear these guys shooting the shit like if they were watching a game at the bar, and not seven layers deep within the corporate burrito … or onion… or… whatever it is has layers. Tectonic plates — I don’t know.

Anyway, while I’m probably not doing the pipe dream of actual interesting broadcast chatter any good by rushing to point to an instance where somebody had a momentary slip into the way that most of us actually talk amongst friends, um… who cares? Swearing is funny! Or at least it can be. And it certainly is novel to hear it coming from a baseball broadcast — and that’s what us Jays fans were treated to tonight thanks to ol’ Pat Tabler, with an assist from his partner Hawk Martinez.

After Eduardo Nunez needed some time against Chad Jenkins in the top of the fifth, having fouled the first pitch of his at-bat off his foot, he stepped back into the box, Jenkins reared back and threw, and we were treated to this little exchange:

BUCK: He came right back inside.

PAT: Shit, you have to.


Or if you prefer, let’s go to the video tape! (i.e. the Vine clip via @GregBallochST)

No, you turn six!


Image via 30-Year Old Cardboard.

Comments (31)

  1. Sounds to me like it might’ve been an aborted “sure.”

  2. How much silence followed it? Or did Buck pick him up?

    Shit, I’d have left him hanging…

  3. Children, Pat Tabler is talking. Cover your ears!

  4. I heard it,but then convinced myself that it wasnt possible

  5. He took a break from talking about guys “big shhtrong thighs” and their “perfect pitchers bodies”. During the Angels series, Tabby and Buck spent more time slobbering all over Mike Trout’s knob than talking about the Jays. I mean yah… ok we get it, he’s good but 4 games of that was too much.

    • I hear people say this kind of stuff about Buck a lot, and I can assure you, I fully do not get it. Never seems to me like he overly compliments the other team at all. Maybe I tune it out. Four games of talking about how great Mike Trout is could never be close to enough. Mike Trout is fucking amazing. I’ll take warranted slobbering over discourse-dumbing pretending Anthony Gose has insane value and Brett Lawrie is the second coming of Brooks Robinson any day.

      But, like I say, that’s me. Lots of people register your same complaint, I do grant.

  6. Tabby drives me crazy sometimes but I award him 10 points for that

  7. I think this is what you were looking for:

  8. I think people take Buck and Tabby for granted a little… I mean, yeah, I’d rather have more Sabermetrically-inclined commentators and less of the aw-shucks schtick, but seriously folks, there are some fucking awful commentators on some of the other teams’ broadcasts. Do yourselves a favor and listen to them.

  9. “I’d just bet it would be way cooler if we could hear these guys shooting the shit like if they were watching a game at the bar, and not seven layers deep within the corporate burrito … or onion… or… whatever it is has layers. Tectonic plates — I don’t know.”

    Gotta love getting home from the game and Andrew’s as drunk as I am.

  10. Bring back Sam Cosentino!! Naughty word!! Off with his head!! We want Mulliniks!!

  11. Love Buck and Tabby? Shit I think I do.

  12. Well, he’s said a lot worse!

  13. I was sure I heard him say the s word!

    I’m all for it. Letter loose Tabby!

    How funny would it be if before every thought they shared they preceeded it with shit?

    “Shit, I think Lawrie could hit 30 HRS this season.”
    “Shit, all he’s got to do is keep himself on the field with those soft hands and big strong thighs.”
    “Shit, I sure wish we had thighs like that back in our day. That might have saved ma leg. Hhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhahhhha (wheezing laughter).

  14. Buck said the “S” word 16 times in the first 1st inning and 2/3s
    I stopped counting after that.
    I find it inchresting as I’ve menchinned many times this. Seezin.

  15. I thought he swore, but wasn’t exactly sure I heard it. Same thing happens when your child starts talking, at first you just think you imagined it.

  16. Two summers ago, I was crawling along on the Gardner when Buck Martinez was Jeff Blair’s guest. Asked about something (can’t remember what), Buck vehemently replied, “That’s bullshit! Blah blah blah” It was great. To his credit, Blair didn’t mention it when Buck finished talking; just asked his next question.

    Whatever, shit happens. I’m sure some jerk will complain to the CRTC about it.

    • I once heard Blair refer to a guy “getting his tits lit up”.
      Carried on like nothing happened.

  17. I’ve always thought there should be an alt broadcast where the announcers curse and shit. Like when you press SAP to get spanish. They could call it “Blue Jays Blue”. I’d even pay extra.

  18. Actually had an idea to dub over games with “actual speak” a few years back, but figured posting it online would probably land me in some shit-dickingly hot water.

    • I mean, how refreshing would it be to have heard the Royals’ commentators on the famous Stroman-to-Hosmer slider just go: “Dude, fuck that shit.”

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