This is your semi-regular reminder that Hipster J.A. Happ is pretty much genius. To wit:

Follow him before Happ gets traded away and we forget he even existed (though… honestly… we were always more into his early stuff anyway).

Oh, and something something baseball. Let’s hope the fucking White Sox are prepared to give the Jays the same kind of gifts they gave the Orioles all week.


John Gibbons tells reporters that Jose Bautista will work out on Saturday to see if he can pinch hit. He’s getting there, and still hopeful about avoiding the DL, but he’s still not ready.

Steve Tolleson had an eye issue that was being reported after last night’s game, and apparently it has turned out to be some kind of an allergic reaction to contact lenses he had been given. Seems like a thing he might have noticed right away — eye troubles immediately after he got new things he was putting in his eyes? — but… whatever, he’s alright now, and wearing glasses tonight. Fortunately for him, despite being on the DL, Brandon Morrow is with the team these days, so he’s not going to be alone in getting ragged on for looking like he’s into book learnin’.

Moises Sierra in the house!

Griff with the tweet of the week.

These ChiSox have won three times in ten games. DON’T FUCK THIS UP!

TV: Sportsnet

Next game(s): Tomorrow, 7:07 PM ET vs. White Sox

For those of you who’ll be out and about, be sure to follow all the action on your phone with theScore app.

And now, the lineups… 

Toronto Blue Jays

SS Jose Reyes (S)
LF Melky Cabrera (S)
DH Adam Lind (L)
1B Edwin Encarnacion (R)
C Dioner Navarro (S)
CF Colby Rasmus (L)
3B Juan Francisco (L)
2B Munenori Kawasaki (L)
RF Anthony Gose (R)

LHP J.A. Happ

Chicago White Sox

CF Adam Eaton (L)
2B Gordon Beckham (R)
1B Jose Abreu (R)
LF Dayan Viciedo (R)
SS Alexei Ramirez (R)
3B Connor Gillaspie (L)
DH Paul Konerko (R)
RF Moises Sierra (R)
C Adrian Nieto (S)

RHP Scott Carroll

Comments (209)

  1. “These ChiSox have won three times in ten games. DON’T FUCK THIS UP!”


  2. With the old Jays, our luck would have it where Moises Sierra would come in and destroy the Jays. Let’s hope that the old Sierra (from early this year) shows up this weekend!

  3. I and 70 of my coworkers are headed to the game. Toodles.

  4. Jays + series against slumping shitty team = me a nervoya wreck all weekend. Better start drinkin early to calm the ol nerves

  5. After a year and a half of following stoeten on twitter I had to unfollow him…

    I’m I the only one who has noticed his personality slowly morph into that of an 19 year old girl? Its very, very strange.

    • It’s probably just you.

    • What personality trait made you post something like this on his blog?

      • Idk. you tell me.

        I’m just curious to know if anyone has noticed the change. Hence postage!

    • Just checked this fellow’s comment history, and it is, without deviation, entirely just lame shitting on me. Aww, poor baby.

      Au revoir, shitstain.

    • Lol do you spend time during the day thinking up ways to sound as Insulting as possible without sounding like a troll? How bored are you? Find a hobby

  6. That’s a lot of lefties. Who are they? The Rays against Romero?

  7. Tolleson needs to get his pink eye checked out.

  8. Wondering what Happs best pitch is?

    don’t bother, It’s this really obscure pitch, you’ve probably never heard of it.

  9. Gose batting right handed? Worth a try I guess.

  10. That bottom photo of Happ in shorts exceeds the universal maximum amount of douchebaggery. I had scrubbed it from my memory and now it’s back. Thanks Stoeten.



    • God I lvoe days off

    • That’s awesome.

      Missing the way overused Buck-ism “BOUNCING BALL!!!”

      • Yeah its missing several Buck n Pat isms

        “SWIG N’ ‘ER DRYYYVE…” Caught by Outfielder

        Double explosive wheeze laughs after a terrible anecdote.

        Zaun referring to “old school baseball”

        Horrendous awkward exchange between Jamie Campell & Zaun.

        “Gets fisted”

        A liner called a bloop.

        Misreading the score/count.

        A comment that confirms Buck is completely in the bag.

        ….the bingo potential goes on and on

      • Don’t forget Buck getting way too excited for a “High and Deep!” flyball out.

    • I have TTC bingo. Bingos come easy.

      • Winnipeg Transit bingo had to be stopped due to 100% win guarantee

        • Oh man. Winnipeg transit is the worst part of my day. Every morning I hope like hell for a quiet ride. I can’t imagine taking the bus outside of peak hours.

  12. Here’s Tolleson coming into the ‘Dome today.


  13. Zaun:

    “JA Happs best pitch is his fastball”

    And a shudder went through my soul.

  14. Is Eaton hurt or something?

    • Rolled his ankle when he lunged a little too much for 1st base on a ground ball (Moises Sierra style).

      • Oog :( Never like hearing about that sort of thing.

        • Really?

          Not that I wish for a blow to the head or a career ending injury, but I’m okay with seeing injuries pile up on other teams. Bruised kidney, sore neck, broken toe. Even the dreaded “flu-like symptoms”. Bring them on!

  15. <3 dem Whitesox.
    <3 Sierra

  16. Nice to see sierra playing like a dumbass for another team


  18. tonight’s game marks the half-way point in the season.

  19. Morrow’s hanging around with the team again…That’s a good sign!

  20. That last Happ tweet was gold.

  21. Sweet!

  22. How’d that stay in

  23. Walking the Number Nine Hitter – The J.A. Happ story

  24. I was thinking the Happ with bandana photo is actually an improvement but I really shouldn’t comment on appearance, don’t want to be responsible for Riggs blowing out an artery

  25. Colby already looks 5th inning greasy and it’s only the 5th

  26. Give him the deuce

  27. I hate being Bi-Polar.

  28. Reyes en fuego!

  29. And Jose Reyes is hot all of a sudden .. and maybe a little lucky, but you need that too, sometimes.

    Its amazing how quickly baseball can turn for you, that why I love this game. Was it not Monday, people were tearing him apart and calling for him to be traded?

  30. He was ready.

  31. Lind!

  32. Atta kid KittenChin

  33. He wouldn’t have hit that if he hasn’t been ready.

  34. So Gregg, can you expand on the importance of being ready?

    • Well Jamie, it’s just a lot easier when you’re ready. I mean, when you first get called up, I know sometimes I’d get up to the plate and realize I didn’t have a bat. I wasn’t ready.

  35. Konerko is the white Harold Gained.,… monotonously productive.

  36. Beat it Sierra.

  37. We got “good” Happ tonight.

  38. Nice work Dr. Evil.

  39. Wow…

  40. Good lord that was idiotic by Rivera.

    Zero out and Navarro FFS.

  41. Who screwed up worse? The Sox outfield or Rivera?

  42. 3 E’s on 1 play, LF, CF and 3rd base coach.

  43. That was hilarious. But Rivera should be fined for sending him

  44. Luis Rivera: officially the dumbest piece of shit ever. The only appropriate response would have been for Gibby to walk out, deck him, and drag him back into the dugout.

  45. Oh man, Dinner was smiling all the way around the bases… until he realized he was going to be tagged out. Priceless!

  46. Late to the party but that thing about Tolleson can happen. I had a reaction once that was misdiagnosed. Went from wearing contacts with no problems one day to having super bloodshot eyes with blurry vision the next. Took a day or two of disgusting eye leakage to feel better, but still couldn’t see properly for a while. Apparently the reaction fucked up my ability to focus.
    It was weird.

  47. I see entirely too much of the Chicago White Sox. They are so boring to me. + four games? Ugh.

    Although if the Blue Jays keep winning I’ll keep my whinging mouth shut. Heck, I don’t even complain when they lose.

  48. Happ – Dealing.

  49. Still hard getting used to this “J.A. Happ throwing 94, 95″ thing. He was 88-89 when he came to the Jays.

    Weighted balls?

  50. The Sox are boring as shit, but the no hit Pads just plain suck. Current team BA is .213, lowest since 1909.

  51. If I wanted to complain, I’d point out that Happ has used way too many pitches to put away a pathetic team.

    But, it’s Happ, and Happ’s only given up four baserunners in six innings, so…

  52. I love that Gose could’ve rounded the bases twice safely in the time it took Dinner to do it once.

    • I absolutely loved gose’s reaction to dioner. Seriously cracked me up. The whole team was treating him really. I love the care-free attitude of this team. Ya, the same attitude that many bitched about last year, explaining that the team just didn’t care.

  53. In a vacuum, Happ is fine as a #5 starter.

    He shows flashes of being better or worse than that but whatever.

    He’s useful.

    Of course, when your team doesn’t have a #1 starter and two of the quality starters may need to be shut down during a pennant race, it’s easy to point to Happ as an area to upgrade.

  54. I come home from ball to see 5-0 and Happ pitching a dooozy. Wow… awesome, it looks like I got what I was looking for from him. Awesome!!!

    Where are all the dicktards talking shit on Reyes tonight? Or last night? ….. Dinks.

  55. For all the looking the gift horse in the mouth about Happ’s performance tonight it’s virtually the same as Stroman’s the other night. They both allowed 3 hits, 1 walk and struckout 7. Stroman pitched one more inning yet allowed a run.

    I heard lots of shouts of “Boners” over that. So maybe you could give Happ a nice attaboy.

  56. I heard the Navarro play while on the 401 and almost lost my shit. Could’ve been bad, what with three bikers on a gay cruise dangerously weaving around me and others.

    (That was a friendly dig at motorcyclists who ride in groups and in no way did I mean offense to people who vacation on gay cruises)

  57. Wait does Happ have a complete game shutout?

    (Goes and looks)

    Okay, Happ has three career complete game shutouts, but none since 2010. If you were willing to leave Happ in until 130 pitches, which would probably be stupid in terms of Happ’s ability to go deep next time, Happ might be able to make it.

    I don’t know, though. 130 pitches… probably too nuts.

  58. Edwin!

  59. 96MPH!! ….. wait….. did J.A Happ just throw a 96 mph heater? Did I just say that?

    • In the eighth inning no less!

      • Jesus… why can’t J.A Happ pitch like this more often than not or even sort of this good.

        • Seriously ?? What makes this man tick ? He was awful last time round, fucking AWFUL
          Now Cy Happ

        • When he can hit his spots, he’s far from helpless. He just has a hard time staying ahead in the count a lot of nights.

          • I think it has a LOT to do with his secondary pitches. His fastball is always good but like any pitcher, when the secondary stuff isn’t finding the zone, players sit fastball and hit it easily all night. I don’t care how good a pitcher’s fastball is, if the secondary pitches aren’t a threat, there’s gonna be fireworks. When Happ has all his pitches working, he’s awesome. Walker needs to try and find a way to make Cy Happ more present than AAA Happ

        • There’s a reason why he’s the fifth starter… inconsistency.

          • Here’s hoping for a late career Jose type spike in consistency and performance haha

    • He’s been upstairs at 93 – 96 all night. Ridiculous.

    • Always remember that the Dome’s radar gun is a tad hot.

  60. “Trading for a starting pitcher is too mainstream” – Happ, probably

  61. David Price has posted on Twitter that Kawasaki is one of his 5 all time players in MLB. Says he makes all his teams better. I would gladly promise that Kawasaki be given a spot as long as David is playing for us

  62. … so let’s see … Happ was dreaming of Kate Upton and turned into Justin Verlander

  63. #aboutsoul

  64. Don’t look now, but assuming the BP doesn’t fuck this up, Happ will be second on the team in number of wins for whatever wins are worth these days to a SP. Can’t ask for more from a fifth starter to rack up the second most wins on your pitching rotation.

  65. REALLY

  66. Whole contingent of MLB Umps can die in a fire.

  67. Uh…. ok how does that get called out with someone looking at the replay in slo-mo… I get how close calls can go either way on the field but when looking at the replay, that’s safe all day.

  68. I’m no ump, but that sure looked safe to me.

  69. Can’t really complain about the hitting after the – in my opinion – blown call on the replay. 2 on with 1 out is still pretty decent.

  70. Jose Reyes plays for the Toronto Blue Jays!

  71. Love me some Reyes!

  72. If it was close Gibby should have snapped showed on the ump maybe spit dip in his face and got tossed

  73. Boy that Jose Reyes sucks.

    • I know right? Fuck,,, he has a slump and everyone and their sister is dogging on the guy like he’s some minor league plug. There should never be a doubt that he will come out of a slump

  74. Alright … Give me about 30 minutes more of baseball just so I can drink my beer in a leisurely fashion. Just tuned in after spending the night moving furniture.

  75. Even Jenkins seems to have more movement and life to his pitches tonight.

  76. I miss Pinella like rants and bases being thrown.
    Instant replay is boring and isn’t even perfect anyway.

    But great boys.

    • It sucks. I like to see people getting their blood all angried up. Lip reading all the swears…bench-clearing brawl potential…

      • Fuck yeah!! That really does suck and I can’t believe I never even thought about that. Dont forget the towels, bats and ice flying out of the dugout.

  77. Nice win – always good for the nerves to get a no-doubter. Anyone notice how Jenkins’ pitches have a weird, Shawn Camp-esque break to them (back when Camp was decent)?

    • They were actually talking about his lack of movement in the last couple outings. His stuff was definitely moving tonight.

  78. 45-36 halfway through the seezin? I can live with that

  79. So, I’ve gone to SI for baseball for years – mostly just for the scores and standings, but the odd article too. Anyone else notice the redesign? I’m sure it looks great on a tablet, but it’s horribly cluttered and awkward to use on my laptop. I guess I’ll have to go somewhere else…

    • Yup, noticed the redesign. I can’t find half the shit I’m looking for, and Truth and Rumours is completely gone for now.

  80. Stoeten busted his slump at the Dome tonight. Karen is going to bust hers on Saturday.

  81. 90 win pace, exactly.

  82. 90 win pace!

  83. It’s my last night of freedom before my dude returns. Once I finish this orange pekoe tea I’m going to celebrate this win with some raspberry thriller.

  84. I like this new flamethrower Happ. Hell of a start.

  85. Starting tomorrow, Rays play Orioles (double-header) and Boston plays Yankees.
    Hopefully they beat the snot out of each other and Jays gain some games on them.

    • Wow I never thought I’d say Go Boston!

    • Hopefully Joey Bats is in the lineup for the remaining games in the series vs. three straight lefties. Apparently this Glenn fella hits lefties well also so let’s get his ass in there too.

  86. As y’all may know, I taught myself baseball and there are a lot of holes in my knowledge. Here’s one: we are 2 games up on Baltimore although we’ve won 45 and they’ve won 41. Why aren’t we 4 games up? Obviously they’ve played fewer games than we have but they’ll get the chance to play those games. How do they work out the games back?

    • We’re only 2 games up because each unplayed game is considered a 50% chance of winning/losing. So imagine the Yanks go 2-2 before we play another game…

      • Or put another way, each additional win or loss is +/- a 1/2 game. i.e. our four additional wins = 2 games up; our equal # of losses = no change, therefore 2 game lead.

  87. I know why, but I’m unsure if I can properly explain. One “game” counts as an equivalent of one game between two teams OR two games between one team. When the Yanks beat us last night, they gained one whole game on us, because they recorded a W and we recorded an L. Today, we made up half a game over them, because we recorded a W, but they didn’t record anything (off day).

    Did I make it better, or more confusing?

  88. Just got back from Orillia after watching the game in the casino bar We talked about some interesting trades, completely ignoring money and probably common sense. Saw Happ hit 96 once and 95 countless times AFTER he threw 100 pitches. So much for that magical 100 pitch limit shit. Christ as much as a lot of us have crapped on him ( me too), at times he looks like the reincarnation of Jon Matlack ( NY Mets). Yes, the Chisox swinging at some cr4ap pitches helped, but he was very dominating tonight. He’s your prototypical .500 pitcher man-very good to outstanding some times, followed up by stints of looking like he should be pitching in AAA. If he could just get the ratio of good starts up to 75% ,imagine as we would have a betterd deal than getting Santana in the first place.
    AA has to be careful about rolling the dice on a deal. It hurts to see 00 green come up when you were sure it was red/black only. (Yeah I lost.Fukin one arm bandits-actually no arms nowadays). Beer was good though.
    Forward Soviet!…Bring me the Moosehead!
    Who is going to the game on SAT? Sure hope Bats is back

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