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It’s my friend Kevin’s birthday, so I’m already at the bar, and about to head to the game, and so all I’ve got for you tonight is this half-assed Game Threat… which, honestly, is pretty much all this damn season deserves at this point anyway, eh? I’ll come back around, it’s just right now it’s a little tough to get amped about the grind. I know you know this too!

Comments (471)

  1. What you wanted us to post, I know this Maaaaaan!

  2. My link didn”t post, wtf? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTbTsTlQ9I8

  3. Trying to stay optimistic about this team
    Who knows if they have one run left in them?
    Need to win out the homestand and have a May like record in September
    22-8 at minimum

    It’s gonna be a miracle if they make it but hey, crazier thing a have happened in sports, just ask the 2011 Red Sox how their September went

    • Just hit up Wikipedia for the game log of the 2011 Red Sox season and saw that they won a game vs the Jays featuring Jo-Jo Reyes. Just think about that and be happy that, no matter how shitty the results, this team is so much better and more worth watching than that team.


    • 100% true – anything can happen

  4. #GoAssholesYouJays

  5. This is almost getting to the point of misery loves company isn’t it?

    Looking forward to my trip to the big smoke this weekend
    to see the Jays kick some Skankee ass.
    If we can’t be in it; lets make sure we ruin the season for those assholes.

  6. It’s been one of the worst Augusts in team history. It’s very sad because they are losing to inferior teams.

  7. If Stoeten is in attendance then this looks like a loss. Book it. Or not. I could use a dose of happiness right about now. + nothing makes me happier than a Red Sox ass kicking.

  8. God help us on this little boat to nowhere.

  9. Why is Colby not in the lineup?

    Good first inning by Stroman

  10. Have a good evening Stoeten.

  11. The TV broadcast makes this team unwatchable for me right now.

  12. Which loss do you think was the most frustrating of the year?
    I have to say that shitshow game in Minnesota, the second game of the DH.
    But even that was before the May surge.

  13. Bob Elliot had a nuggets in his column
    About waivers
    2 things that were standouts
    Reyes, Happ, janssen, Rasmus among those passed through waivers

    More interesting to me, as he said that the angels had scouts at Happ’s start Monday night. With the waiver/playoff roster deadline Sunday at 11:59 pm and Richards out for the year for them, could a trade happen in the next 4 days?

  14. Some serious leather being flashed by both teams

  15. Who scored? I am finishing up the Emmys on demand.

  16. Anybody listen to my show today, I like to troll my listeners.

  17. RADAR-
    I like to “mix it up,” use a falsetto outraged voice. It’s supposed to match the tenor of the fanbase.

    • I put it on, heard him yelling and screaming about how he doesn’t care about tennis, except Milos and Genie, then I changed the channel.

    • You were great at PitchTalks, very comedic, almost, how should I put it?
      Ah yes, clown-like.
      Definitely a fucking clown.

  18. Yeah, dudes think it’s funny when I make creepy comments about Evanka.
    That’s the mark of humour.

  19. Hmm would the angels take him? They have the budget room and need a starter with Richards done
    @nickcafardo: If you can take on 19 mill in 2015, Mark Buehrle could be added to avail SP before Aug. 31 when he clears waivers.

  20. Stromann’s throwing a no-no tonight. Mark my words.

  21. Likin’ the way the kid is just gettin’ it and chuckin’ it.
    Nice up the middle D so far tonight.
    Who are those guys, and what did they do with Muni and Reyes?

  22. See. Jinxed it.

  23. Well there goes the no-hitter.

  24. sooo quiet…

  25. Wilner must be choking himself having to talk hockey during the Jays game.

  26. Would a Happ for Freese trade work or make sense in August waivers if Angels scouted Happ and liked what they saw?

    • Lawrie didn’t seem too happy to be moved to 2B.

      If you’re willing to talk to Lawrie about it, I’d consider the Happ for Freese swap.

      • Why would Lawrie have to be consulted? It’s not like starting at third is in his contract.

        • Yea im talking about making sense in terms of swapping contracts, does Freese also have to be passed through waivers, etc.

          Happ would make 6.5 next yr on player option, Freese is arb eligible but hasnt really done much since Angels got him to really suggest he’s gonna get paid a ton more than he already is

          He crushes lefties so you cant really platoon him with Valencia either. His splits are decent enough but he really does hammer lefties a ton.

          Run into the issue of not being a great defender but his avg and OBP are good despite declining power

  27. Stro putting on a nice show tonight!

  28. The Price isn’t right.

  29. Morrow in to pitch in Dunedin.

  30. Middlebrooks<Francisco?

  31. Oh, Juan … Remember when you were the toast of the town in May?

  32. So, Juan costs the Jays the game last night and he might do it again tonight. What sack of shit!

  33. Juan shouldnt be playing a single game at 3b. Mindblowing that they let this brick defend. DH should be the only time he plays

  34. Huh. That sucks

  35. #thisisawful

  36. Crazy to play the infield back there. With an offence that’s not producing.

  37. Stro is so animated

  38. Red Sox took advantage of the air.

  39. Sso have they ever addressed exactly why Reimold was DFA’d?

  40. Listen to my show tomorrow, guys. I’m funny. I talk a little about food sometimes.

  41. Stromans still bringing it.

  42. Let’s hope somebody claims Buehrle.

  43. i’m not saying its fair that managers are held responsible when guys swing for the fences to pad their stats instead of donking singles the other way and playing the game “the right way”, but ‘ya gotta nuke something’, as they say

  44. fuck, a Gibby substitution works. Hire that man.

  45. Haha Farrell you fucking idiot

  46. I could get used to this Pillar fellow.

    • He pretty much just has to stop chasing and striking out on balls Rajai Davis-style and keep hustling and he’s good with me

  47. Huh. That was nice

  48. Do u bring in tolleson to close it out, or do you not want to tire him out pitching back to back nights?

  49. Pillars hustle is definitely the kind of shot in the ass the jays needed

  50. Here’s a question for all you haters. If AA had paid the cost to get David Price (whatever it was and let’s say for shits and giggles that the cost didn’t include current roster players), do you think this is a playoff team?

  51. Why bau? !!!!

  52. Great start. Fuck you Francisco.

  53. Excellent performance by stroman.
    He tipped his hat to the crowd

  54. Just came back…… Have they lost yet?

  55. Cecil for closer, 2015!

  56. It’s always worthwhile beating Boston.

  57. Interesting analogy involving the right call at the deadline. I personally call total bullshit on that do to the fucking fact that it would have at least shown the team that exists fucking now that it was serious winning business. Rah Rah and all that shit but let’s fucking get real! Going pirate again and she has a shifty feel jiggers…. Pick up some rope

    • eh?

      • Chico yer obvious at the slow comins of this tide.

        • “Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin’ back from the island of Tinian to Leyte… just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn’t see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen footer. You know, you know that when you’re in the water, chief? You tell by lookin’ from the dorsal to the tail. Well, we didn’t know. ‘Cause our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent, huh. They didn’t even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The sharks come cruisin’. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it’s… kinda like ‘ol squares in battle like uh, you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the shark goes to the nearest man and then he’d start poundin’ and hollerin’ and screamin’ and sometimes the shark would go away. Sometimes he wouldn’t go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he’s got… lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eye. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be livin’. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin’ and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin’ and the hollerin’ they all come in and rip you to pieces. Y’know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men! I don’t know how many sharks, maybe a thousand! I don’t know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin’ chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player, Bosun’s Mate. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up and down in the water, just like a kinda top. Up ended. Well… he’d been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us. He’s a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper, anyway he saw us and come in low. And three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin’ for my turn. I’ll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.”

        • “Chico” says

          “Baseboll been berry, berry good to me.”

    • Very impressed with goggles tonight.

  58. Standings at end of August:

    Detroit 72-61
    Seattle 72-63
    New York 69-65
    Toronto 70-66
    Indians 68-66
    Rays 67-70

    If Jays can sweep Yanks, that doesn’t look too, too bad.

    Tigers will be facing a hot Indians team first week of September and the M’s get back to back series of Nats and A’s so the Jays have got to use this win as a springboard for this final series.

  59. Of course he did dep’t:
    Liam Hendriks pitches 7 innings of 4 hit ball and only gives up 1 fukin run!
    Against the Twins, but we lost the seasonseries to those cunts. Plus Kratz has hit a couple of homers for them in other games too.
    So it goes, man

    • And so it goes

    • Well he did only give up 3 hits and 1 run in his first game against Oakland. And followed that up with similarly well pitched game. But then got crushed by the Reds badly. Like Rogers, I dont think you can fully judge what the Jays gave up until a month in.

      His minor league #’s suggest he could be a decent #5 tho so maybe he’s turning a corner

      • Do you really think this is sustainable? You did watch him pitch for us, right? I can’t imagine we will ever look back and be sad he’s not a Jay.

        • yeah, i’m with you, Poon. i saw those long, loud fly-outs. i was rootin’ for him — still am, maybe — but ya gotta figure he’ll be exposed somewhere along the way.

      • uhhh, Dildo, that second game that he “won” was against Tampa. You know the one that set a MLB record for most miles travelled by an OF in one game where Gose ran 3.26 miles and rearranged his nose on a couple of fences-the one whee Melky slashed along the fence line, scraping his elbow to snare another rocket. Talk about atom ( at em ) shots.
        The guy is crap, but lucky once in awile

        • Yea I dont think Jays will miss him.

          My point is his minor league #’s suggest he has the potential to dominate a team every once in a while but I think longterm it’s probably not sustainable. Perhaps he could turn into some sort of Todd Remond type of player who does well in a longman/spot start role however.

          • agreed: roughed up now and then, otherwise (somehow) solid. not a bad way to make a living, come to think of it.

    • And out of the “makes it all worthwhile” department, Valencia hits a pinch-hit three-run shot for the win.

  60. what’s the over / under on Stoeten falling asleep in a ditch tonight?

  61. I am willing to bet the Jays go on a run after nobody gives a fuck

    • yeah. two years ago, when we also had shit the bred throughout august, they won,like 8 of the last 11 of the year , including sweeping all 3 from Minny to end the year and drop back from the 7th pick to the 10th overall barely avoiding 11th with the mets broken in a tie formula.
      It was all for fukin nought as they chose Phil Fukin Bickford in June of 13 as a result of that 2012 finish and then told him to fuk off they didn’t want him. Just couldn’t do anything right.
      Back to my bottle of merlot. Carry On………..( Great tune by CSNY but I digress)

  62. I enjoy eternal optimism but stupidly I choose no

  63. Bisons got crushed again. Both other WC competitors also lost though. 1.5 GB

    I wonder if the Jays could bring Morrow to AAA during his rehab and see if he can help them win

    • yes, please.

      he’ll need to stint anyway, won’t he?

      also: good chance Santos winds up there again, for what it’s worth.

      • Morrow in Dunedin so I dont know if he needs to go up to Buffalo

        Santos probably will end up back there but season is over in a few games so I guess it depends how quickly he accepts his assignment if he’s not claimed, which he shouldnt be

  64. Tonight’s game was a treat. Great crowd at the dome. The Jays managed to hold it together when shit got rough. I’ve got 4 more games to go; hopefully all wins.

  65. Dickey has cleared waivers. Buerhle put on waivers today and will clear by Friday. Might be something cooking with LAA yet. Stay tuned

  66. Intersting that Janssen has also apparently cleared waivers. Prior to shitting the bed lately he had been very good and I would have thought he;d be claimed as he isn’t making a ridiculous amount bu goofy MLB standards sooo….there’s that too

    • The Jays put every player on waivers to gauge interest.
      Darvish cleared waivers too.

      • true but Teaxas has been long out of it and are fishing-plus Darvish is hurt anyway
        Tor, on the other hand had not done any of this until 8/25 meaning that until 2 days ago they weren’t even contempalting what a lot of us on here think they s/b looking at, namely trying to get rid of ONe of Dickey or Buerhle, or, at least that is what i would like to see them do.
        Most likely will amount to fuck all but part of me thinks AA might be trying to cook something up with LAA, like maybe Dickey for PTBNL ( agreed upon but not announced til eoy). will see

        • He’s definitely going to move one of Buerhle or Dickey. Maybe not until the off season though. Dickey could probably bring back a player, but Buerhle could bring back Melky.

  67. was at this game. Stroman was superb – Red Sox hitters didn’t hit a ball in the air until the 6th inning, and that was a harmless flyout. if not for some customary shit defense from Francisco his line would have been even better, although truth be told there was some very nice defense behind him from Reyes and multiple times from Kawasaki of all people as well.

  68. I got to stop reading Sportsnet comments. My brain is oozing out of my ears. Joey is not a clutch. He is just a power hitter with a good arm. Ugh!

    • I KNOW! I was just reading the same shit. It’s amazing how many people who watch baseball, and have for some time it seems, know SOOOOO little about it. Fuck.

      • These are the same people who vote Rob Ford

      • The Reyes bashing is a little nuts, too. It’s funny how when we get to watch one of the best shortstops in the game (Reyes), we bitch and complain about his suspect defence, and when we have a spectacular defensive shortstop who can’t hit worth shit (Johnny Mac) we fall in love with him.

        I’m not one to bring hockey into the discussion because I’m a huge Leafs fan, but I wonder how much this kind of attitude is related to the desire for grit and heart in hockey players. A guy who plays good defence and can’t hit is seen as having minimal talent but he tries really hard to get the most out of his skill, but when someone hits well and struggles defensively we assume it’s because he has a ton of talent but just doesn’t care enough.

        People are stupid, I guess, is what I’m trying to say.

    • This year, though, Jose Bautista has not been clutch.

      -2.01 per Fangraphs, which is considered pretty awful. Plus he has always been either average or slightly bad at “clutch.”


      I can understand why casual fans would shit on him for that, even though surely much of this is luck. People form narrative out of patterns, even if these patterns are slightly random.

      • Curious how clutch is measured in WARlock

        • Not even going to look but Jose has always had – and been known for – high walk totals. In fact In 2011 he had the highest BB total in MLB. In the absence of EE, pitchers tend to pitch around him. It’s just lately that EE has returned (on DL Jul 6- Aug 15) that he’s getting to hit to his potential.

    • here’s a doozy:

      “What is a pitch punts best friend? JOSE REYEZ? Can somebody please tell this guy that he’s a leadoff hitter??? Unbelievable.”

      – Mike Monkman, Fort Saskatchewan High School

  69. So last two days I’ve been able to listen to PTS and I had the pleasure of listening to Ken Reid (seriously) say such pearls of wisdom like the Jays are too reliant on the home run and that’s why they lose…

    And then you get why these sportsnet commenters and jaystalk callers are all idiots. Because the authority they listen to on the radio are just as fucking stupid as they are. There is no end to this. Unplug the radio. Unscrew your TV. Burn the newspapers. Go to bed.

    I should mention Blair awesomely called him out and said small ball is stupid. Ha! but still..

    • Ken Reid has never been outdoors. Fact.

    • The “too reliant on home runs” thing has been all over the comments here any time the offense struggles.

      Actually… the best part is the odd time when the Jays win a game on a few home runs and we hear the “Sure they won, but they still can’t manufacture runs.”

  70. Would love to hear a discussion roundtable on baseball with Ken Reid, Damien Cox, Jamie Campbell and Eliot Friedman. These Fcuks have never played ball yet go on about the game like they have been following boxscores for years. Pathetic really, and in Campbells case, he has had Zaun pretty much teaching the game for 5 years now so he doesn’t sound completely stupid yet still manages to do it. How that guy ever got the play by play gig for awile still astounds me. Then again , the alternative was Rob fucking faulds at the time. Rogers penchant for being El Cheapo I guess

    • I don’t mind Campbell personally. He so rarely seems to express an opinion that it’s hard ot get too angry at him.
      The rest of them can fuck off though.

      • +1 For the sportscasters, a little free advice. Just stick to what you know. Unfortunately that means a lot of them would be out of a job.

    • Ever since somebody mentioned that Damien Cox relates everything back to a hockey scenerio,I find him unlistenable.

      Bob: I think the Jays must re-sign Melky.
      Damien: I think you’re right. It’s Just like when the Calgary Flames couldn’t sign their FA’s.Created a different dynamic on the team.
      Bob: The Jays early success really had the fanbase believing of a shot at the postseason.
      Damien: Not unlike the Maple Leafs, Bob.Bautista is the one guy who can lead the way,he’s just like Kessel.Dougie was another guy who could do it.But if the Jays had somebody like Sid the Kid, it would push them over the top.
      Bob: What the fuck are you talking about?You fucking bozo hockey puck.

    • Although for the sake of perspective, it’s not like Cox, Faulds, Campbell, Reid and Friedman know that much about hockey, either.

  71. As this month comes to a close the Jays will have won only 1 series, have 18 or 19 losses and will have completely folded under the pressure.

    They need a Sept like May… I guess the optimists are holding out for this but realistically it’s over for them. After going “all in” they flopped the two seasons after, AA has to pay for this and needs to be shown the door keeping him only shows that Rogers and the Jays tolerate mediocrity.

    • fire AA! feed Gibbons to cats! prune the hedges! gaaaaah!

    • No one needs to pay for anything. The onus is on the players for the ridiculously crappy losing months, just because we played liek astros at it’s worst, it doesnt mean AA put together a team of the astros talent level.

      Just like how the orioles went on a ridiculously high winning percentage, we went the exact opposite.

      but of course you’re a negative suckhole so no doubt you’ll be all like “no screw AA, it’s his responsiblity to upgrade in any way possible, and he should find it to be cost effective at the same time, every loss is on him, and nothing to do with how our pitching collectively crapped the bed and our offense suddenly died…. blah blah blah blah blah…”

      • Bats bird predictable response: why didn’t he have starters ready at every position

        • AA poorly managed the money that Rogers gave him to spend and Rogers are also cheap fuckers… both of these are true but Rogers can’t be fired, sadly…

            • One thing to consider is that when drafting high school players , you can’t evaluate a gm like you might in hockey, basketball or football. Many of the guys AA drafted early on are just getting to the show now. Additionally, Ricciardi left the minors so devoid of talent that he’s had to work extra hard just to get some players in the minors that someone might want when working on on your team. You can’t exactly trade for excellent talent when you have no blue chip young pieces to move.
              I guess the moral of the story is be patient, grasshopper. This is not a two year process in the bigs.

      • Suck hole? lol… no bud I’m not being a suck I’m cutting bait. How long would you give AA? 8 years? 9 years? how about 10?

        You must love mediocrity then because the teams fortunes are not changing under him or with this core.

    • I think there’s already PLENTY of evidence that Rogers tolerates mediocrity.

      • Their entire “customer service” department, as just one example off the top of my head.

        • Service? Tee Hee. Like after you tell em you are cancelling the “service” they then tell you about how, just this once, they can reduce your monthly fee, for some promo or because they just signed up a new poker channel or something. Each year they raise my bill from ~160 up to ~230 beacuse of bla bla bla and then each year I get it cut back to 160 or so. Some service, though. If you don’t bitch about it, the only service you get is the same one Richard the third got-poker right up the ass just a different poker

  72. Jerry Howarth was just being very diplomatic towards Tim and Sid about the role of leadership on this Jays team.

  73. Fangraphs now has Sanchez back ahead of Thor in their ranking of prospect right handers. (Sanchez is 4 , thor is 5). Can’t wait to see him and Norris start next year.

  74. Sid has very quickly become one of the biggest screeching morons in this market, at least as far as the Jays are concerned.

  75. I was thinking the Jays marketing department would be well advised to use a sense of humour in their next campaign. I envision a Blue Jay flying into a pane glass window with a “Help save the Blue Jays, purchase your 2015 ticket package now” caption….

    • Maybe a blue jay in a tiny rogers cage would work too.

      Of course maybe the statue of ted rogers taking a massive dump on AA holding a Blue Jay would work as well.

    • I think maybe they should start with not portraying their players as rock stars on pedestals. It’s lame as it is, but when you see the results it’s just hilarious.

  76. Happ again in 2015 for $6M??? He’s done well, won’t find much healthier and consistent on FA/trade market. Good insurance/depth for Stroman, Hutchison, Sanchez next Spring. Come June/July you don’t need him then trade him.

    • For sure they pick up that option. He should be in the rotation again also. It’s one of Buerhle or Dickey that’s gonna go. Maybe Hutch in the right trade.

  77. Everybody ready for the 10 game win streak to put them back in contention only to fall just short?

  78. Ya. I like Nolin and Graveman as # 6 and 7. Sign a minor league free agent for an 8 or 9. Wait for more of the young arms to push up the depth chart.

  79. Wow I can’t wrap my head around giving up Hutch. Hid first year back from TJ and he’s shown he can be light’s out when he’s on.
    Sanchez has worked well from the pen but I wouldn’t want to see us relying on him as a starter. Maybe if someones injured but that’s asking a lot from a kid that’s just getting his feet wet.
    Stroman and Hap in a heartbeat, I would hate to see Buerhle go but we need Melky in left.

  80. I can’t envision the rotation in April not being Burl, Dick, Stro, Hutch and Happ at this point, unless one gets injured.

    Sanchez hasnt even pitched as a starter and likely wont get the chance to do so this year so he’s going to have to audition for a spot in spring training. Stroman has essentially auditioned for the last 3 months so he’s pretty well earned that. Sanchez, Norris, Graveman, etc havent earned shit yet, altho Sanchez has earned his way onto a big league roster thats for sure, just not as a starter.

    Norris and Graveman just got to AAA so really there’s no reason to rush them up either. Nolin and Graveman would be the quickest candidates in the minors to make a spot start anywhere between April and June IMO.

    Jays would be better off investing that money into a couple solid relievers, Melky re-signing and maybe a couple bench depth signings.

  81. @ChrisCotillo: Waiver claims have Jayson Nix to #Royals and Nolan Reimold to #DBacks today.

    Is this a trade waiver or straight up waiver claim?

  82. So Burehle clears waivers tomorrow could you trade him in 2 1/2 days?

    • Easy. Just walk into Brad Pitt’s office and start shouting out names until he says ‘done!’

  83. 3 days until the waiver deadline

    • Deals can be done after that, they just won’t be eligible for the playoff roster if not added by Sept 1. Because of that, in practice, Sept 1 acts as a de facto “deadline”.

  84. OK…off for two weeks to Europe, where I will have little to no idea of how the Jays are doing. I fully expect you lovely fuckers here to will them into playoff contention in the meantime.



    • Enjoy, Teddy. We’ll do our best (and depending on how they do, possibly our worst).


    • bring me back a Swede, Teddy? somethin’ foxy?


  85. Buffalo Bisons leading 11-0 through 2 2/3 innings. Gose is having a good game.


    • I think if I’m not mistaken, of all qualified hitters he’s last in slugging percentage in the league.

      That hasn’t nothing to do with your article.

      I’m may still be druink.

  86. I’m pretty sure if I had to take a breathalyzer on the way to work this morning it would melt.

    Entertain me someone, please ……..

    I think my co-workers are well aware, my eyeballs look like menstruating lobsters.

  87. Since he was mentioned earlier, I saw this today and thought I’d link…


    … cliff-note version: He accidentially threw a cutter one game and has since figured out how to do it deliberately.

  88. Gary Buseyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

  89. here ya go, Slasher:


    also: if yer gone be hung-over, might as well do it on The Man’s dime. so, word up.

    • I love that song.

      Kind of a life motto.


      I wish someone could look at what I’ve accomplished so far, use the new baseball math and come up with a productivity quotient for what i’m likey to produce the rest of this day.

      Some back story, I have drooled once so far ( but caught it before it hit the desk!) and sat on the toilet with my eyes shut for about 10 minutes.

      • hmmm.

        how ’bout “PAR” — Productivity Above Replacement

        i’m guessin’ today you’d come in sub-PAR.

        what the hell happened to you, manno? Irish Car Bombs?

        • A good friend is leaving for Toronto today, the boys took him out and got him polluted on Schlitz-Gay, tequilla and then ended the night with rum and cokes.

          I vaguely remember a cab, a stop at a gas station to buy a Hygard Sub and then destroying said sub on my couch like a greased up David Hasselhoff.

          Interesting fact, Hygard actually lists Listeria in their ingredients on the packaging.

          So even though I’m not pissing out of my ass yet I soon will be.

          • I gotta know tonight
            If you’re alone tonight
            Can’t stop this feeling
            Can’t stop this fire

            Oh, I get hysterical, listeria
            Oh can you feel it, do you believe it?
            It’s such a magical mysteria
            When you get that feelin’, better start believin’
            ‘Cos it’s a miracle, oh say you will, ooh babe
            Listeria — when you’re near

      • You need to have a drink at lunch for some equilibrium.

        • I find the hair of the dog can work, but I find that by the end of the day I have no energy at all if I go that route. Bloody Mary is king here, though. Salty meal-in-a-glass!

          Light calisthenics is another option.

          Booster Juice. Works for Jose Bautista.

        • “…Hygard actually lists Listeria in their ingredients on the packaging.”

          Standing vigilant against the ubiquitous frivolous lawsuits.

          (On the other hand make sure your kids and seniors get their subs elsewhere.)

  90. http://www.sportsnet.ca/baseball/mlb/defence-plate-approach-led-to-jays-struggles/

    Probably one of the most accurate depictions of why the Jays have struggled to win despite having a top 5 offense

    Their defense is atrocious, they miss too many routine plays, which in turn kills their rotation which once again relies heavily on young, developing ptichers.

    • I feel like there should be another half to this article.

    • another half?


      Reyes -11 DRS
      Rasmus -8 DRS
      Francisco -6 DRS

      Pillar +1 DRS
      Goins +1 DRS
      Gose +1 DRS

      The sum of Pillar, Goins, Gose wasn’t going to save this team defensively but its pretty apparent how awful Reyes and Rasmus have been this year defensively and Francisco playing so many reps at 3b/1b due to the injuries of Lawrie, EE and Lind also killed.

      • Just seems like it ended very suddenly. I would have enjoyed reading more.

        • yea, i agree . . . was a refreshing take on the state of things and some good stats to back it up

          Defense should be a huge priority next year. Most teams making the playoffs have excellent defense. I think having kept Pillar and Gose up would have helped them win a few extra games but their D was pretty bad across the board this year. Part of the problem is the majority of their top offensive contributors are older with diminishing range.

      • Pillar Goins and Gose all contributed negatively with the bat too though. So you’d have to factor that in when deciding if the defensive improvements were actually “worth it”…

        Now what would be really nice would be players who could both hit AND play defense!

        • yea thats why i was saying the sum parts of Goins, Gose and Pillar’s D wouldnt be as marked as one would think

          that being said, I’d be curious to see in the games they didnt play, how many were 1 run or extra inning losses. I feel that the whole struggling offense narrative has been mostly due to poor plate discipline. They for sure did have some offensive struggles, but that doesnt mean they couldnt have won a lot more of those games. They are 10-14 in 1 run games I think and having speedy, defense first players could have made a bigger difference than a poor defender with the ability to cash a run better. I feel like a lot of the games they’ve lost lately were by a run or two which was caused by an error or a routine play not made

          • it’s unfair to put reyes with that kind of company, SS is the hardest position defensively, but what he lacks in range, he kind of makes up for in arm, not to mention the bat is superior to most SS in the MLB.

            Rasmus and Francisco though….

            • I’ve seen this before , the concept that his arm makes up for lack of range , and it’s bullshit .

              Your arm can’t help you throw a guy out on a ball you don’t get to, first of all.

              Secondly , a strong arm is most likely to help throw someone out on balls hit in the deep hole between third and short , only he doesn’t get to those in the first place .

              So while I agree his arm has a mitigating effect on his overall shittyness as a SS , it doesn’t “make up for ” it

              • You show me a guy with a strong arm and I’ll show you a terrible masturbator.

              • i said kind of makes up for it, obviously it doesnt negate the lack range.

                It could be alot worse if he had a weak ass arm.

  91. So, we will be inundated with forced Jays/Derek Jeter connections for the weekend. What are the Jays going to get DJ – Ken Huckaby’s first born?? Huckaby’s shin guards dipped in gold??, the pictures of Madonna people used to hold up to taunt A-Rod?? There just are not that many game “memories” of Toronto for him.

    The only thing Jeter will remember about the Jays is the way Doc toyed with him like a tiger does a steak. Halladay had the 5th highest number of PAs vs. the Captain and by far gave him the biggest trouble of anyone of those high-frequency types.*


    Soooo, I call on the Jays to have Halladay there to give out whatever they are going to give him, just as a little “fuck you, you never solved me” message to the Stanx.**

    * And, it rivals Felix Hernandez’ numbers against him but also weirdly successful against Jeter was Jeremy Guthrie and Scott Kazmir

    ** Dickey, Morrow, Redmond, Henderson Alvarez and AJ Burnett kind of had DJ’s number too (but Fenway and Tropicana are where he struggled the most).

  92. Kevin musta had one hell of a birthday.

  93. Sounds like Stoten has a five-alarm hangover.

  94. So I was thinking in terms of the offseason, I hope this is what happens

    We sign Russell Martin as our main catcher (minus the maple boner, more because he’s an excellent pitch framer)

    Buehrle is traded away as salary relief, if we get someone decent in return, all the better.

    Resign melky

    Trade dickey and a couple of minor prospects for a decent infielder

    Sign a 4/5 rotation pitcher, (need to look at the free agent list to determine who I want to target.)

    Pick up happ’s and lind’s option.

    Drop rasmus unless he’s willing to come back on a cheap one year deal.

    • Not sure I’d want to trade Buehrle AND Dickey unless that 4/5 guy you’re talking about is a durable arm. Even if they dont trade those guys they should add depth there. No way of knowing how the young guys will perform

      • the thing is, the free agent market kind of sucks in terms of infielders, to get a decent 2nd or even SS, we would need to make a trade. Pitching is one position we have depth in, so why not deal from there?

        But yes I see the point, can’t have enough durable pitching.

        • I saw your point as well, it’s just I don’t know if starting pitching can exactly be considered a position of depth yet. You trade Buehrle and Dickey you have

          Stroman Happ Hutchison Sanchez Norris Nolin Graveman (dont know if I forgot anyone, unless guys like Redmond and Jenkins get stretched out)

          That’s a lot of inexperience at the back end.

          • I guess technically you could bring back morrow LOL

            I’m sure there a pitcher that’s worth taking a flier on, maybe even by trade.

            • Yeah I said durable lol

              Think is, any decent pitcher who is also durable is going to cost around what Dickey is making (maybe more). It’d also be hard to convince someone to come to Toronto with the young guys on the way, so you’re looking at maybe 1 year deal guys or trades.

              • yeah I wasnt thinking any long term deals really.

                • That means it can only be guys looking to re-establish value or that are on the tail end of their careers probably, unless there’s more Santana situations this offseason.

                  Can’t forget about the pen either. Could probably use guys there, no?

        • Last year , between the 2 of them, they pitched 427 innings. Replacing just one of them would put a LOT of pressure on the rest of the staff. But just to highlight the point, RAD has pitched 175.2 innnings and Buehrle has pitched 161 thus far. The next highest pitcher is Hutch with 150 and Happ has 118. Stroman has 99.

    • If the jays believed in pitch framing I don’t think they would have let Jose Molina go

      • after seeing Navarro piss away so many low balls that were clearly strikes, It’s time we get a pitch framer. And one with an decent bat to boot

        • Dealing Dickey would eliminate the need for Thole, though. Signing a good framer with a bat and having Navarro to back up/split time? That sounds pretty good

          • Yeah that’s the reason why I would like Mr Shortstop of the future.

            Unfortunately i just looked at his states and he’s having fantastic year, partially cause of defense but his bat is pretty good. Large BABIP bump so it’s probably gonna gonna regress next year soo….. i’m guessing he’ll be a little bit expensive.

            • I’m fine with trading burerhle next year, as long as you pick up happ’s option
              if you trade dickey, as well you gotta sign one 3/4 pitcher too

            • He’s definitely hitting a lot better than in years past. Someone else will probably overpay for him.

  95. Jays need to go 21-8 the rest of the way for a legit shot at the post season

    They could have made it much easier on themselves not losing 3 winnable extra innings games in a row

    Could easily be 5-1 thus far on the home stand

    • They could’ve done a lot of things throughout the whole season to make it easier on themselves… that’s life. It is what it is now. Can’t look back.

  96. So i just shared an elevator with the smokeshow who works on 3. She always wears yoga pants and smells like a delicious vanilla meadow.

    On this day, I share the elevator with her.
    I combed my hair with my pillow this morning and I smell like sour rum and ass sweat.

    Fuck you Elevator gods!

    • That will only endear you to her more
      Girls don’t like it when guys try to hard

    • Did you make lobster eye contact?

      One thing I learned from years of hangovers was NEVER to crack wise.
      It inevitably came out wrong and trying to correct it always resulted in
      more pain.

  97. The last time the jays won a game in which they scored first and were later neither tied nor behind was august fucking 6th. That speaks volumes as to how shitty they have been playing

  98. some keith law chat notes
    Ben (Leland Grove)

    Reaction to Bickford’s decision?
    Klaw (3:21 PM)

    I don’t blame any kid who wants to get into the draft sooner, but Bickford telling the school this late makes it harder for them to replace him – and given teams’ concerns about his makeup (not a bad kid, but hard for scouts to get to know him at all) that’s not a great impression to make. I also think he’s a reliever and didn’t consider him a first-round talent in 2013.

    Scott (Bristol )

    what kind of ceiling do you see for Daniel Norris?
    Klaw (3:27 PM)

    Number two starter – above-average, makes some All-Star teams.

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