Dustin Parkes

Recent Posts

Brett Lawrie plays baseball with passion. Sometimes that passion is good. Sometimes it’s bad. Incredibly bad.

The Toronto Blue Jays third baseman came up to bat in the ninth inning with his team down a run to the Tampa Bay Rays. He took two straight balls before fouling one off and then taking a third ball. With the count at 3-1, Lawrie again took the fifth pitch of the at bat and began walking to first base when the umpire called it strike two.

As we can see below, it was a bad call.

Read the rest of this entry »

On yesterday’s edition of MLB Network’s Intentional Talk, Jays starter Ricky Romero spoke with Chris Rose and Kevin Millar live from Target Field. Despite the journalistic chops of those conducting the interview, the conversation surprisingly light.

Not that I’m complaining, with this story from Romero coming up:

I spent an extra day in L.A., and I took my family [to Niketown]. All of a sudden I see Larry King right next to me, and I’m like, “What the hell?” He was trading in some Jordans or something. I guess he apparently tweeted or something saying that he predicted that the Blue Jays would win the AL East, so I asked him about it, and he asked me, “Who the hell are you?”

Romero goes on to talk about J.P. Arencibia’s Twitter habits, his dog’s catching ability compared to Millar’s, Buck Martinez’s hair and Brian Butterfield’s spitting and whistling ability. He’s a rather likeable chap.

According to Ken Rosenthal of FOX Sports, via MLB Trade Rumors, the Toronto Blue Jays have spoken with the Philadelphia Phillies about two of the team’s potential free agents: Cole Hamels and Shane Victorino.

However, before we start inundating the Jays Shop with requests for #35 and #8 jerseys, it should be remembered that Toronto’s front office routinely inquires as to the availability of players in this fashion. With the Phillies struggling and locked in to several long term contracts, it’s very possible that the team would be interested in trading players they’ll be unable to afford in the future for cheaper Major League talent.

Again, it’s very likely that nothing will come out of this, but it is an interesting switch in positioning, considering that it was only a little more than two years ago that the Blue Jays traded Roy Halladay to the Phillies because the pitcher had requested a move to a contender.

Dustin Parkes’ 26th Dream

I had a dream last night. That’s not all together uncommon. Human beings have dreams. What is uncommon, at least for me, is that my dream last night should be so vivid in my memory this morning. I’m not one to remember my dreams, which is pretty great for my friends, because they never have to tolerate boring stories about my dreams.

So, please understand that it’s rare for me to write about my dreams. In fact, it’s only the 26th dream that I’ve ever remembered in my life, and it’s the first I’ve ever bothered to share with anyone else. That’s partly why I ask that you indulge me here with reading about my 26th dream.

Anyway, in my dream, I was laying in bed with my bedroom set like it normally is except for a large mound of rope on the floor. It was the type of rope I would imagine to be common in shipping yards or the type used to tie up a mythical giant: big, a dirty yellowish colour with some oil stains soaked into the braided fabric.

It coiled from the mound, and led out my bedroom door. I can’t explain the reason behind the motivation in my dream, but I felt compelled to follow this rope, to see where it originated or concluded, for I did not know which end of the rope was in the mound on my bedroom floor.

Read the rest of this entry »

Podcast The Turd

And now for something a little different. With Mr. Andrew Stoeten traversing about in Texas, Drew Fairservice and I were joined by the one and only Gregor Chilsholm of MLB.com and Twitter, to talk about the power of Brandon Morrow compelling batters to strike out, the frustrations of Jose Bautista and the hack attack skills of Eric Thames. Indeed, it is the latest episode of the DJF podcast!

If you’re more inclined to download, hit up the mp3 link.

The DJF iTunes page is up and running, so get on over there and subscribe. Another listening alternative comes if you like us on Facebook, as you’ll be able to play the podcast straight from your news feed, once our status is updated to include this post. Try it!

Mintmusical interludes courtesy Toronto’s own Optical Sounds. Be sure to check them out and buy every single fucking thing you hear at their site.

Toronto Blue Jays fans are sensitive when it comes to Dustin McGowan, and it’s understandable why. He’s held his course down a very tough road, and for the most part it’s been behind the scenes. In fact, over the last four seasons, McGowan has made a grand total of four appearances in front of the hometown crowd. This, after winning us over with glimpses of brilliance in his previous two seasons as a starter.

Viewing his appearances objectively or questioning the contract extension that was handed to him have become akin to kicking the crutch out from under Tiny Tim.

Read the rest of this entry »

So, this is a game threat.

Scuttle Ass: We’ve already posted a couple of items that you may find edifying, if you haven’t already. It seems the early news that Brett Lawrie would be batting second in the lineup tonight was meant to distract us from something even more troubling than Buck Martinez and Pat Tabler possibly getting in an extra at bat to spray their maple boner syrup all over the broadcast booth. Sadly, Dustin McGowan has been shut down for at least two weeks after visiting Dr. James Andrews for yet another MRI.

Advice: Instead of whatever in the way of a game preview you were going to watch before tonight’s game, do us a solid and give The Getting Blanked Show a shot.

It might not be as Jays centric as you’re used to, but we have a good time making it, and hopefully that translates into you having a good time watching it.


TV: Sportsnet

And now the lineups, by way of the live box score at theScore.com. And for those of you who’ll be out and about, be sure to follow all the action on your phone with Score Mobile

Toronto Blue Jays

Y. Escobar SS
B. Lawrie 3B
J. Bautista RF
E. Encarnacion 1B
E. Thames LF
B. Francisco DH
R. Davis CF
J. Arencibia C
O. Vizquel 2B

D. Hutchison RHP

Baltimore Orioles

Shit Bag OF
Shit Bag MI
Shit Bag OF
Shit Bag OF
Shit Bag C
Shit Bag DH
Shit Bag CI
Shit Bag CI
Shit Bag MI

Shit Bag LHP