Archive for the ‘Home Opener’ Category


Dusty Lambchops? Roy Halladay? What fucking year is this? …


So remember when I scoffed in tonight’s Game Threat about the Jays opening the gates to tomorrow’s Home Opener at 5 PM, and their encouraging fans to get there early? Um… so it turns out I might have to eat those words about showing up at the last minute. For those of you who haven’t seen the title of this post or can’t see the picture above, to wit:

That. Is. Awesome.


I mean, ceremonial first pitches are pretty dumb, but that’s awesome, right?

OK, so now that I’ve got my post about how it’s ridiculous to hate-on Sergio Santos is out of the way, HOLY FUCK, SERGIO SANTOS. Which I say, obviously, not in a shoulda-got-a-proven-closer, sky-is-falling, I’m-a-giant-reactionary-twat-who-can’t-control-my-emotions-type way. It’s just, the blown save was pretty much the worst thing ever for a lot of reasons.

For one, it truly was a punch in the fucking gut after it looked like the Jays had a good chance to pull out a tense ballgame, even if you never really feel fully confident– Santos struggling or not– staring at Pedroia, Gonzalez and Youkilis to start the ninth.

For two, for obvious reasons, it really dampened what was, to that point, a terrific atmosphere.

For three, it means more days of having to hold Chicken Little’s hand through concepts like “sample size” and “the season is 162 goddamn games long.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Overly-sensational title? You bet your right nut it is. Because apparently that’s the game we’re playing today, as whoever provided the title for whatever shit dribbled out of Richard Griffin’s mouth and into the pages of this morning’s Toronto Star.

Blue Jays home opener loss an ominous sign,” we’re told, as Griffin queues up to make a play for the title of this city’s Media King of Stoking the Flames of Fucking Stupidity. “Troubling,” he calls last night’s performance. “A disturbing development.” The Jays now “must be concerned about their closer and his psyche.”

Right, because it isn’t blindingly goddamn obvious that anybody ready to make wild pronouncements a month into a 162 game season– let alone after four fucking games– is either genuinely stupid, or genuine keen to employ the classic trolling techniques of Damien Cox, baiting readers and bloggers into angrily driving traffic towards whatever preposterous thing they’re pretending to believe.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Toronto Star sent photographer Lucas Oleniuk to the Jays opener last night, with the task of producing “ a series of animated picture files” which are “made by selectively capturing elements of a series of pictures displayed in succession and reverse.”

If the assignment was to create mind-bending creep-tacular tableaus of weirdness, then missing accomplished!

Check out several more, much bigger in size, at the rather cool Toronto Star photo blog.

  1. Wear this shirt.
  2. Stand up.

That is about it. The camerahounds will surely take care of the rest. It’s what they’re there for, after all.

It’s the Home Opener! The St Patrick’s Day, Halloween and New Year’s Eve all-rolled-into-one of the baseball calendar. Welcome back, all you bad drunks, loud drunks, fightin’ drunks, first-time drunks, and respectable, civilized adult functioning drunks! It’s baseball!

Most of all, a giant welcome back to the Jays gorgeous fucking uniforms, which we’ll see, on-field, tonight for the very first time. Again. All is finally right with the world.


We’ve already covered most of it throughout the day, but let’s recap, and then add to it:

- Rajai Davis gets the start ahead of Eric Thames, and Adam Lind is dropped in the batting order, both as lefty-related maneuvering.

- The Jays are limiting beer sales in the 500s tonight to one drink per person per transaction. Some people have been confused: you’re not cut off after one beer, you just have to go get another one– and if every other home opener is any indication, that’s going to mean waiting in a ridiculous line.

- Jack Moore of FanGraphs dissects Chris Perez’s unbel-mazing-lieveably awesome blown save.

- At Getting Blanked, Parkes has the most easily-watchable Red Sox fan ever. Because he hates them. And is amazing.

- John Farrell has a pre-game talk with Bob McCown, Stephen Brunt and that thick-headed guy on the Fan 590.

- And John Lott of the National Post does a nice job looking at Home Opener’s past and present.

TV: Sportsnet

And now tonight’s lineups, by way of the live box score at

Toronto Blue Jays

Y. Escobar SS
K. Johnson 2B
J. Bautista RF
E. Encarnacion DH
A. Lind 1B
B. Lawrie 3B
R. Davis LF
J. Arencibia C
C. Rasmus CF

H. Alvarez RHP

Boston Red Sox

J. Ellsbury CF
D. Pedroia 2B
A. Gonzalez 1B
K. Youkilis 3B
D. Ortiz DH
C. Ross LF
R. Sweeney RF
J. Saltalamacchia C
M. Aviles SS

F. Doubront LHP