Archive for the ‘Maple Nonsense’ Category

Morosi: Maple Morneau Flavoured Linkbait

Posted by Andrew Stoeten under Justin Morneau, Maple Nonsense on Feb 21, 2013

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Clearly Jon Morosi knows what it takes to get him some pageviews, and it’s with that in mind that we look at his latest for Fox Sports, in which he tries to rile up the Canadian masses by bothering to ask Justin Morneau, still a member of the Minnesota Twins, though in the final season of his contract, about one day playing for the lone club in his country of birth: the Toronto Blue Jays, who play their home games just a short, forty-plus-hour trip from his birthplace in New Westminster, BC.

To wit:

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Nerd Boners Up! Tim Raines joins Blue Jays staff

Posted by Archi Zuber under Coaching Staff, Maple Nonsense, Minor Moves on Dec 31, 2012

 

According to Mel Antonen of assorted baseball writings, Tim Raines is set to join the Blue Jays coaching staff. The former Expos great and poster boy for Hall of Fame arguments involving Jack Morris will be the outfield and base-running coach for the club in 2013. As far as the one 15 second google search I did about the position tells me, the position didn’t exist previously in the organization before this.

Between the gifs, the instagram accounts, R.A. Dickey’s nerditry and now pre-stat-revolution victim-of-circumstance Raines, the Jays 2012 off-season plan clearly included appealing to as many different demographics of fans on the internet as possible.

Got ‘em.

LATE UPDATE: Happy New Year
HANGOVER UPDATE: According to Wilner, Raines is going to be working mostly at the minor league level and will only be helping the Jays big leaguers during Spring Training. STILL THO.

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Mets End Bay’s Contract Early: Cue Maple Dicks

Posted by Andrew Stoeten under Maple Nonsense on Nov 07, 2012

GAHRRRRHHHHGGHH! I SUCK NOW!

Jason Bay used to be a really terrific baseball player, not to mention a Canadian!

But while Jason Bay remains a Canadian (though also an American), he’s no longer terrific at baseball. In fact, he kinda fucking sucks. So much so that the Mets and him have reached an agreement to end his contract with the club.

So stop. Take a deep breath. And do not pester your favourite Jays writer– or even me– with breathless questions about the Jays jumping all over this bag of bones that vaguely resembles a guy who was once one of the great lights in Canadian baseball, and who just got fucking paid his whole contract to not play for the fucking New York Mets.

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