I stood in the discotheque, transfixed. I looked at the bouncer, quizzically. He looked at me, stonily. His biceps were breathing in anticipation. But I asked what I wanted to ask anyway. “Was that Drogba I just saw entering the lounge?”

The Sex

Big Biceps looked away, but not before I caught the glint in his eye. The Chelsea man was here at the club. Big Biceps played dumb, but a tip to the waitress told me Drogba and his teammates had been there for an hour or so. It was 11pm on a cool February evening in 2008. The VIP section of the club was closed shut, with Big Biceps at the door.

Around midnight, they traipsed out, heavily guarded and alone. They looked sharp and not drunk at all. They’d probably come to clear their heads from all that training. This was, after all, the day before their 2008 African Cup quarterfinal with Guinea.

How wrong I was. By the time they got to their bus, a few ladies had been quickly ushered to meet them, having used the anterior exits. And off they drove into the Sekondi night (Sekondi is a city in Ghana’s southwest).

The following day, you would not have guessed that they’d partied away the night. For in one of the most dominant Ivory Coast displays I’ve seen live, they tore Guinea apart. The match finished 5-0.

After that, the Ivorians flew to Kumasi, slightly north-east of Sekondi, to meet Egypt in the semis. According to respected African football pundit Mamadou Gaye, the team had been to another club in Kumasi the night before meeting the Pharoahs as well. The cockiness which cost them in 2006 was back.

The semi with Egypt was the final before the final, and the North Africans duly showed Ivory Coast the door in an efficient 4-1 chop.

Four years on, Drogba will not be the focal point of an Ivorian side very similar to the squads of 2008 and 2010. This time, with the team led by local coach Francois Zahoui, there is cautious optimism. “I want to rely on all the players and not just an individual,” said Zahoui. “We can’t rely on our so-called superstars. During the 2010 World Cup, Drogba was injured and we still relied on him and it backfired.”

There are certain similarities between circumstances today and when the country last won the competition in 1992 – Ivory Coast have a local coach, Alassane Ouattara is running the country, and they’ve prepared for the tournament in the Gulf States. Whether that is a good omen, in a continent known for its flair as for its voodoo during such events, is unclear.

Coach Zahoui said: “We have learned from Ghana. Michael Essien and Sulley Muntari are their key players but their coach got results even without them.”

The sex tales are applicable to Botswana as well. First-timers at the tournament, they reek of naiveté.

Why else would the team have to order (not suggest) grown men not to ‘boink’?

The Zebras have been warned to stay away from sexual activities, with boss Stanley Tshosane warning that “sex drains energy from a player and I expect my players to abstain till end of the tournament”. He’s also issued drug abuse warnings, touting “face-to-face and group talks with the players.”

Aside from these concerns, Botswana will be worried about the increasing preparedness and strength of their Group D mates, Ghana.

The Magic

Ah, Ghana, the country that has placed third and second in the past two respective Nations Cup events. On the day they left for South Africa to start their three-week camp, their Serbian boss Goran Stevanovic told me: “We are a confident, compact team. We want to win. Nothing else is acceptable for me.”

Just for the sake of clarity, I asked him if he should be sacked if the trophy isn’t in Accra after February 12.

“You were at the final press conference, yes?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Yes. Sack me.” Then he walked off.

He may have walked away from me, but he cannot walk from the reality that it’s been thirty years since Ghana last won the competition.

Asamoah Gyan is Ghana’s top striker, having scored a total of four goals in the last two Nations Cup tournaments. Right before Ghana were due to start training, Gyan injured himself playing club football in the United Arab Emirates. He returned home, where fans were told it was possible he could be dropped altogether to make way for a healthier forward.

Someone reminded the Ghana FA that the last time the team was hit with an injury crisis hit, they called Mariana Kovavecic. Sound familiar? The Serbian healer, who uses horse placenta treatment methods, has worked on a host of European football stars from Robin van Persie to Pablo Zabaleta. Her methods involve electrical impulse therapy and massaging affected muscle areas with placenta fluid.

It took just one three-hour session with her for Gyan to be up and running the following day, topping it up with a full ninety-minute game two days later in which he scored.

While some of the methods were based in medical science, rumour mongers accused Ghana of jinxing their Group D opponents by using ‘charms.’ In the past few days, group opponents Mali have seen two of the final squad ruled out through injury, forcing them to recall two others in their stead.

Botswana have also been hit badly. Their first game is against Ghana on Tuesday and it’s likely they will miss three players: winger Joel Mogorosi got a hand fracture days ago, veteran midfielder Dipsy Selolwane has been suspended, and skipper Mompati Thuma has an ankle strain.

Magic is not new to the African Cup. From the failure of South Africa to qualify being blamed on non-payment of a sangoma to the assertion that Michael Essien’s injury at Angola 2010 was caused by psychic powers, there are countless stories.

Ask players with Cameroon why there never seems to be peace between their star-studded lineup, and you may get whispers of how there are “too many marabouts working for the same team”, thereby cancelling out the efficacy of their powers. Is there any truth to these stories? That is certainly open to question.

The Love

Despite its many flaws, the convergence of the bizarre with the everyday gives the African Cup its irresistible lure. Ivory Coast and Ghana will be relieved at the absence of Egypt, who failed to qualify. The all-time record holder for most goals scored (151), most games played (89) and won (51) as well as most trophies (7), the North Africans were directly responsible for the previous ACN failures of these two West African neighbours.

Egypt knocked Drogba’s men out in 2006 and 2008, then beat Ghana in the final two years later. And Algeria, who knocked the Ivorians out in 2010, will also sit out this year’s tournament. Furthermore, recent friendly victories over Tunisia and Libya suggest the team is getting better at playing North African opposition. There will also be no Cameroon or Nigeria.

However, African football legend Abedi Ayew Pele described the absence of Egypt and other big names as “sad, really sad because these are big-name football countries who bring excitement to the game throughout Africa. But a trophy is a trophy. If you are able to lift the Cup of Nations it means you have worked hard for it and you have sacrificed so much.”

Abedi’s final comments mirror the kind of thinking with which other unheralded teams will go to the tournament. Gabon and Equatorial Guinea, the hosts, will use every trick in the book – fair or foul – to get as far as they can. After all, it’s what hosts do. Equatorial Guinea have offered $1 million USD  to the team for every victory, in addition to $20,000 for every goal.

Outrageous amounts of money have been splashed before but not like this. Angola hosted the last Nations Cup and were given similar treats: goalscorers were given $10,000 per goal, the team got $50,000 for every win, and anytime an Angolan took the man of the match award he received a further $10,000. Had the team reached the final, they’d have shared $250,000 for the runner-up spot, and $1 million if they won the cup.

But giving your son skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. Equatorial Guinea have not built a foundation of good players for the future. For now, the team has eleven players of Spanish heritage, a Cameroonian, a Ghanaian and a Brazilian, in addition to a few locals. They will not go far.

Elsewhere, the Ivory Coast government has given $10 million to the team for preparation for the tournament. It’s the highest amount ever earmarked by any country for the competition, and it signals their intent. As if that wasn’t enough pressure, every Ivorian government minister – and there are 36 of them – donated $6000 of their salaries to the effort. They want it that badly? Yes.

The Motivation

Libya have not lost a competitive match since February 2009, which sounds like a feel-good story. But that script is getting tiresome. They are not the first African nation to be involved in qualifiers during a civil war. Liberia did so with George Weah footing the bills and playing centre-back when the world knew him as a striker. The Democratic Republic of Congo qualified for the 1998 tournament while they were barely catching their breath from the first Congo War and on the verge of plunging into the second.

Yet Congo went to the semis that year after beating World Cup-bound Cameroon. Libya’s story is remarkable, sure, but it’s being given too much prominence on a continent where mental fortitude and football go hand in hand.

Three debutants will be appearing at the finals, a significant number of newcomers for a continental championship. Niger is one, and their build up to the tournament has been quiet and efficient. They should get to the knockout round at the very least.

With Papiss Cissé, Moussa Sow and Demba Ba having scored 90 league goals among them since 2010/11, it’s hard not to see Senegal as favorites together with Ghana and Ivory Coast. Morocco need to fulfill their potential, as does Tunisia’s young lineup.

Zambia have had a lot of press because they play Senegal on Saturday in a historical atmosphere. In April 1993, a plane carrying one of the greatest ever Zambian national teams crashed in Bata, not far from where the current side plays Senegal this weekend. Zambia—ravaged with injury-induced absentees –will need will-power to trump talent if they hope to upset this hugely-tipped Senegalese team.

As ever, there are bound to be many subplots in the tournament which starts tomorrow and ends on February 12. Here’s hoping there isn’t too much boinking in obscure places.