Mocking Yankees Fans

http://www.mocksession.com/30fps//YANKEEDOUCHE.gif

I know.  We’re kind of leaning heavily on the ol’ animated GIFs today, but there’s so much douche being exuded here.  It would be a crime against scorn not to post it.

Now, there are three things you should remember before complaining of how mean it is to mock people on display like this: 1) I’m aware of my underworld bound status, but don’t let that interfere with your laughter.  I’m going to hell so that you don’t have to.  2) I’ve often heard that mockery is the highest form of flattery.  Or something like that. 3) They’re Yankees fans.  It’s not like they’re human beings with real feelings.

Enough justification.  Let’s get to the scorn and work our way from left to right.

First, we have Father & Son Tandem One.  How nice of daddy dearest to dress his son like a turtle before the big ballgame.  He must’ve misunderstood the memo from the guy in front who tried to coordinate Turtle from Entourage lookalike contest.  Not a hard thing to do at a Yankees game.

Is it really the best form of parenting to proudly point your son in the direction of an obscenely gesturing frat boy who doesn’t appear as though he knows how to properly put on a baseball cap, let alone construct a sentence that doesn’t include an obscenity.

Moving over to Jerry Ferrara in front.  Maybe if you spent a little less time plucking your eyebrows you could fit in a few more sit ups.  I get that a lot of Yankees fans think that the Turtle from Entourage look is a good one, but that shouldn’t include putting turtle wax on your skin.  How else could it be that smooth and shiny?  Right.  Dorito remnants on your fingers.

I’d be nervous if I was the girl beside him.  It’s a long walk to the concessions.  He’s going to get hungry again . . . in the fourth inning.

The guy who actually snagged the Robinson Cano home run ball from Nelson Cruz is in a lucky position.  How often do you get to see what your future holds sitting right behind you.

I haven’t seen Meatloaf use his pipes like that since he rejoined the cast of Hair on Broadway.

And is that Martin Landau sitting quietly beside him?  At least only Meatloaf’s career is dead.

Finally, there’s Father & Son Tandem Two.  What is it with dads pointing out the obvious to their kids?  Do they think they’re stupid or something?  The closest my dad came to pointing something out to me was when he would poke me in the ribs with his index finger to “quiet me down.”

Once again, this post is deeply indebted to mocksession.com.  Give @bubbaprog a follow on Twitter for updates on his latest.

Comments (10)

  1. In the end all the matters is:
    Rangers 10
    Yankees 3

    You think any of the people in that GIF were still there in the bottom of the 9th?

  2. The best is the fat guy in the second row can be seen to clearly mouth “F_ _ _ You, F _ _ _ You!’

    Too funny.

  3. Maybe the girl’s bones?

  4. I love that the gif can be saved as YANKEEDOUCHE.

  5. Douche, get your train ride on time
    I know your bros will be fine
    Riiiiiiiiide down to old SoHo
    Do doo do do Do doo do do doo
    There he is
    The Biggest Living Douche in New York

  6. Karma man … it truly does exist!

  7. Jesus Christ, the number of people clearly mouthing “FUCK YOU” towards Cruz is frightening.

  8. In fairness, he was trying to catch that home run ball in fan territory. Should’ve been called player interference.

  9. Did somebody hack DJF?

  10. Fuck off parkes

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