In a few hours the Blue Jays and Brewers are expected to announce a trade that will send Shaun Marcum to Milwaukee in exchange for Brett Lawrie coming to Toronto.

There were whispers among some delusional Blue Jays fans that in addition to Shaun Marcum not wishing to sign a contract extension in Toronto, behavioural issues were at the root of this transaction. While it may seem as though Marcum was battling “flu-like symptoms” between starts a lot last season and there were rumours about his “lack of focus” when he was demoted in 2009, it’s ridiculous for fans to jump to those types of conclusions.

And if you don’t want to take my word for it, than take the words of Brett Lawrie. Or more accurately, the words tattooed on the upper part of Brett Lawrie’s arm.

Success is my only / option failure’s not so / here I go it’s my shot feet / fail me not this may be / the only opportunity that / I got

Sound familar?  If so, it’s probably because, as Miller Park Drunk points out, the words are actually cleaned up Eminem lyrics:

Success is my only [Getting Blanked]in’ option, failure’s not / Mom, I love you, but this trailer’s got to go / I cannot grow old in Salem’s lot / So here I go with my shot, feet fail me not / This may be the only opportunity that I got

Eminem lyrics?  I know what you’re thinking:  Only over-sized fratboy douchebags who mime oral sex motions for point & shoot cameras, when not obliviously dressing up in homoerotic Clockwork Orange outfits with their droogs, while worrying about the lighting for their next Facebook profile picture which consists entirely of their abs (much like the four pages of pics before) would have Eminem lyrics tattooed on their skin.

Yep.  Pretty much.

Something tells me that trading Shaun Marcum was a baseball decision, pure and simple.

Comments (11)

  1. HEY. I love Eminem. But oh my god this is terrible.

  2. At least there won’t be any issues if the washing machines at Rogers Centre break down. Green Initiative: Brett Lawrie, Lake Ontario and Sunlight is all you need to clean uniforms.

  3. He doesn’t need to launder anything. He can wear his onesie everywhere.

  4. Haha. Well said, Dustin.

    He looks like the kind of suburban white guy who refers to his suburban white friends by the N word.

  5. Can’t wait for the injury report:

    Brett Lawrie – 15 Day DL (Lacerated Hand from Duct Taped 40 oz bottle).

  6. It’s Kelly Gruber 2.0

  7. It definitely wasn’t issues with Marcum off the field. The Jays have acquired a 1st round pick that was drafted as a catcher and refused to do it, demanding to switch to his natural position of 2B. Though with the acquistion of Lawrie, does this mean the Jays are planning to try and ship off Hill sometime in the next 2-3 years? You don’t trade a pitcher like Marcum for a future bench player.

  8. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me that those pictures of that sideways hat wearing, onesie sporting ab showing douchebag, are not pictures of Brett Lawrie. I cant cheer for that kid to hit homers or make plays when im secretly wishing for him to get drilled by a line drive.

  9. God I hate facebook for taking away all my online privacy. That said, I dont have friends with pictures this gay. Pics of ppl wasted? yes. High? maybe.. but in a onesie funneling in a garage with two other friends dressed the same… no because that would be rly rly gay and obviously i wouldnt be friends with them. All that aside, i bet theres 3000 ppl that are exactly the same in the minors that we’ll never know about because they arent as high profile.

  10. who cares, the kid can play ball

  11. hes going to be the next t lusty – haha

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