Every February in Ontario, the provincial government allows us one day off to celebrate Zooey Deschanel, at least that’s what I’ve been led to believe.  Anyway, while you were partaking in an Orson Wellsian style bender that culminated in an early Monday morning walk down a deserted Queen Street West, baseball wasn’t blacking out one bit.  In fact, it was thriving with the latest news.

So, does anyone think Jason Kendall might have a job in media relations once his career is over?  And no, I’m not referring to when he left Pittsburgh.  Personally, I like Beyond The Boxscore’s take.

Presidential races are no laughing matter in Washington.

$30 million for Albert Pujols is asinine according to Chicago White Sox GM Kenny Williams.

The Dodgers didn’t throw in the kitchen sink to sign Rafael Furcal in 2009, they paid for a shiny new firetruck.

Pete Rose drew a crowd in Oroville.  He probably beat out three traffic accidents for above the fold front page news as well.

The Mexicutioner isn’t a big fan of his own handle.

Colby Rasmus likes Tony LaRussa about a tenth as much as Joe Strauss, and that’s still three to five times more than any of the manager’s family.

What could the NFL lockout mean for Jake Locker and the Los Angeles Angels.

Is this eBay auction item legitimate?

Although he’s cleared to play, Justin Morneau is still not 100%.  And the Canadian wasn’t even playing hockey when he got his concussion.

Kevin Millwood isn’t interested in your non-guaranteed money, or more specifically, the Yankees guaranteed money.

Aroldis Chapman has a new tattoo.  God help him and us if he throws any harder.

Scott Boras is wrapping his tentacles around the likely first overall pick in June’s amateur draft.

If Charlie Manuel is honest with himself, Domonic Brown will have to earn his way into the starting lineup this Spring, but if he’s even more honest with himself, Brown probably doesn’t.

Speaking of Cholly, Charlie Sheen collects baseball memorabilia and baseball players, when he’s not fighting for Corbin Bernsen to be included in Major League 4.  And now I’m going to go wash myself after visiting TMZ’s website.

“Like a fine wine, Derek Jeter will only get better as he gets older,” says every Yankee fan you’ve ever met.

Francisco Liriano and I have a lot more in common than I would’ve thought.

Brandon Webb is having shoulder problems already.  That’s not a very good sign.

Justine Siegal threw batting practice to the Cleveland Indians, the first time a woman has done so with a Major League Baseball team.  Not bad for a chick.

Denard Span is offering his ESL lessons to everyone.

The San Diego Padres are doing their darnedest to ensure that kids grow up to enlist in the military.  Child crusades!

The New York Times can’t get enough of the Mets’ financial scandal.

Michael Young reported to Rangers camp and wasn’t too keen on speaking with GM Jon Daniels. Meanwhile, it appears as though Vernon Wells wouldn’t mind having a few words with him.

Speaking of Michael Young, this reminds me all too well of the time that Damaso Garcia burned his Jays uniform, and everyone thought he’d be traded:

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