So…yeah! All the games, save two, are matinĂ©es on this getaway Thursday. Meaning there is but slim pickings for the nightly baseball watcher. Fear not, we can certainly mine 5 things to watch out of these two epic tilts.

Chris Tillman might be a thing. (Tigers at Orioles)

More grist for the “young Orioles starters” mill. This balanced young staff took a great turn through the rotation once, can they repeat the trick? Chris Tillman left after six no-hit inning his last time out, tonight facing the mixed bag Tigers lineup.

Brad Penny certainly used to be a thing (Detroit versus Bodymore, Murderland)

Brad Penny is going to give this whole “American League” thing another shot. After a wildly unsuccessful and unpopular turn with the Red Sox in 2009, Penny retreated to the warmth of the National League in 2010. 55 effective yet injury-plagued innings later, he’s back in the AL with the Tigers.

Based on his first start, he misses taking his turn at the plate. Good thing he gets to face the perennial doormatfirst place Orioles tonight!

The Nationals and Marlins insist on playing out their season. (Nats at Marlins)

Despite being doomed by vastly superior divisional opponents and playing their games behind closed doors, the Nationals doing so without their franchise pitcher!

Why they don’t just pack up and quit now, I’ll never know. On the plus side, the Nats no longer employ this guy!

Josh Johnson is reason enough to be a Marlins fan

While most of the Nationals young stars are home reassembling their arm bones or painting their faces like the Ultimate Warrior, the Marlins have excellent young players all over the diamond. Gigantic ace Josh Johnson chief among them.

Johnson shut down the Mets in his first start of the season, allowing 2 runs while pitching into the 7th inning. He only struck out 3 but did manage 11 ground balls. Start lining up now as your team could be in the running to empty their farm system in exchange for 4 months of his services soon!

The Red Sox still haven’t won a game.

No, no they have not. They lost this afternoon, 1-0 to the Indians(!), and this was the final play of the game.

Courtesy of Jeff Sullivan of Lookout Landing. Like almost all good things.