Not Just a Clever Nickname

The screengrab you see above is from yesterday’s direcrucial Pirates Giants getaway day spectacular. Pablo Sandoval, the increasingly svelte and valuable third baseman for the defending World Series champs, had his pre-game stretching interrupted by the devious Pirates Parrot. As one might assume, high jinx ensued.

Thanks to the delightfully Draconian video embed edicts sent forth by Lead Tyrant in Charge Bud Selig, we cannot post the video here. I can link to it and give you play-by-play of mascot malfeasance done right.

The Parrot took a sadly predictable tact in belittling the pleasantly plumb Pablo, mocking his weight and considerable caboose. Ed. note: the Panda made this parrot eat his words later, hustling to beat out a double play then stealing second and going to third on a throwing error. Fat guy hustle!

After much mockery and esteem-crippling teasing, the Panda lashed out again, shoving the Parrot from behind!

The Parrot licked his wounds and the kind, gentle Panda had a change of heart, offering his hand in a peaceful gesture. After more general mascot buildup, the Pirate Parrot accept the olive branch.

Which, of course, is nothing more than a clever ruse! The Panda leveled the Pirate with a left-handed chop to complete his heel turn!

All in all, good clean fun at the ballpark. The Pirates tend to do in-game entertainment well, from awesome pirogi races to the mocking laughter of an animated Pirate. The best Pirates entertainment, probably the best in-game entertainment piece of all time, is this final Sopranos episode tribute from 2007.