Nearly every time I watch a Marlins game or see Marlins highlights, I am taken by how insanely imposing a figure Mike Stanton cuts (6’5, 233.) Dude is huge and, ohbytheway, he’s one of the best young players in baseball.

With the Blue Jays struggling to come to grips with Travis Snider’s struggles, seeing Mike Stanton destroy National League pitching at the age of 21 offers little solace. After hitting 22 home runs and posting a .355 wOBA as a 20 year old rookie, Stanton is off to a 4 homer, .388 wOBA start to his sophomore season.

But this isn’t about the on-paper abilities of Mike Stanton, it is about the pee-in-your-pants abilities of Mike Stanton.

Stanton hits exclusively tape-measure home runs, home runs that fly off his bat at incredibly high speeds. Last night he pounded a blast in St Louis that may still be in-flight. Bouncing off the facing of the upper deck, Stanton’s shot rebounded nearly all the way back to the infield!

Though his prodigious shot measured a mere 417 feet, surely he is due some extra credit as it was still rising when it met the upper deck.

Mike Stanton is an animal – the centerpiece of the surprising Marlins offence and the kind of player you build around. And hide from. There is a good chance he will bite a taxi or crush a town bus just for fun. Be afraid, be very afraid of Mike Stanton.

Don’t believe me? Take a look at these petrified onlookers.

This poor kid will never live in a second floor apartment for the rest of his life.