Remember the time that woman was getting hassled by a homeless guy and you totally stepped up and told the weirdo to beat it, and then you smiled and asked the woman if she was okay. Afterwards, you walked away thinking that you were some kind of real man.

Well, the truth of the situation was that the homeless guy was actually her father, and that woman you “saved” does this at baseball games:

But hey, nice try, sport.

Thanks to @Steeebo and DC Sports Bog for giving me the faith to believe that the right woman is out there for me.