A Match Made In Heaven

Former Toronto Blue Jays pitcher Jo-Jo Reyes has been claimed off waivers by the Baltimore Orioles. I’ll pause here for a minute so that you can regain your composure after the ensuing fit of laughter one typically experiences after reading such news.

Reyes failed to impress with the Blue Jays despite ample opportunities to showcase a low nineties fastball that is as unfamiliar with the lower half of the strike zone as a golden retriever is with proper dinner etiquette. When not missing the zone completely with a “slider” that has all the vertical and horizontal movement of the comatose, Reyes is trying to convince batters to swing and miss on a change up which is more accurately described as the two seam fastball he throws when he’s tired.

Among starters with at least 100 innings pitched this season, Reyes has the second worst ERA in the American League. Only seven other starters in the AL have missed less bats, and none have cost their teams more in terms of win probability than Reyes this season.

Generally speaking, as a fan of the Toronto Blue Jays, I try not to rush to judgment, write in hyperbole or lose my mind in the extremes of a situation. Nonetheless, Jo-Jo Reyes has been the worst pitcher I’ve ever seen throw in the Major Leagues. So, of course, he’s been picked up by the Baltimore Orioles off waivers.