Yesterday, the Chicago Cubs hosted the Pittsburgh Pirates in a battle of perennial underachievers. The game quickly went in the wrong direction for the Cubs, then at 59-78.

In my lifetime, I have only seen two legitimate doubles in which the baseball never left the infield. One is the bunt double, which happens infrequently. The other is complete and utter unawareness of the infield, or the Cubs yesterday.

With one out in the top of the first inning, third baseman Josh Harrison worked a full count against Cubs starter Ryan Dempster before hitting a weak chopper in the hole between third base and shortstop. Harrison, possessing above-average speed, beat out Starlin Castro’s throw to first for what appeared to be a single. However, the Chicago infielders collectively took a nap and second base was left unattended. Harrison made the turn and took the extra base uncontested.

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The whole situation is just baffling. Where was second baseman Darwin Barney? Did Starlin Castro enter a time vortex? How is it that there were zero people within sprinting distance of second base?

Ah, you slay me, Cubs baseball.