Earlier today, the New York Post ran a Page Six item describing how Philadelphia Phillies’ outfielder John Mayberry Jr. asked CAA representatives to get him a date with model/actress Antoinette Nikprelaj, who apparently played a mermaid in one of the franchise murdering sequels to Pirates Of The Caribbean.

The story included excerpts from an email that his agent allegedly sent to Innovative Artists, the agency that represents Nikprelaj.

I hate to even be sending you this e-mail, and I’m quite embarrassed to say the least, but we have a young client on the Philadelphia Phillies who asked us if we knew any agents at Innovative Artists and could connect him to Antoinette Nikprelaj.

I know you’re not a dating or set-up service, but John Mayberry Jr. (Phillies OF) would love to meet Antoinette or invite her to a baseball game sometime. Would this be possible?

Here’s a bio of John to give you some more info on him (he’s a great guy, down-to-earth, humble, Stanford-educated, etc.) Thanks for considering this as you know how this business is and servicing clients.

It was later discovered that Nikprelaj is actually married with a child (gross!), greatly diminishing the chance of a hookup. However, Phillies teammate Hunter Pence has been kind enough to do whatever he can to ensure that Mayberry Jr. finds that special someone.

Even if they weren’t well on their way to winning the NL East, and favourites to represent the National League in the World Series, I can’t escape the feeling that Mayberry Jr. just made Pence’s trade from the Houston Astros completely worth it.

The razzing in the Phillies locker room is going to be off the chain.