Of the few things in this world that bring me pleasure in any circumstance, the most reliable is the fact that the Los Angeles Dodgers went out this past off season and spent $21 million on signing Juan Uribe to a three year contract. Juan Uribe. Three years. $21 million.

And now, after 295 plate appearances and more than 620 innings of defensive play as an infielder contributing to his barely above replacement value performance this season, Uribe has called it a season. The Dodgers third baseman will go under the knife to repair a sports hernia meaning later this week, meaning that his ugly 2011 is over.

Don’t fret Dodgers fans. He’ll be back in 2012 and 2013 to collect on the $16 million still owed to him in his aged 32 and 33 year seasons.

Professional troll for the Los Angeles Times, Steve Dilbeck, when writing of Uribe, tells his readers to “Listen.”

Then after pausing to hear nothing, we continue to read:

I thought signing Uribe was a smart move. Not three years and $21-million smart, but considering the infield need and general lack of available power on the market, he seemed a very nice fit. Apparently, though, the market pushed him to three years and that $21 million, which was a problem at the outset, considering he was coming off a career year and was 32.

Exactly what market pushed Juan Uribe’s supposed value beyond the two years, $11.5 million contract that Orlando Hudson signed for? He’s certainly not referring to Major League Baseball’s free agent market where there isn’t a single example of a mediocre infielder signing a contract for as long or as much value as what the Dodgers offered Uribe.

One more time: Juan Uribe. Three years. $21 million.

Photo courtesy of the wonderful Tumblr: EmoJuanUribe.com.