The ever-ingenious marketing people with the Florida Marlins hosted a Star Wars theme night at the ballpark yesterday. Nerds of all stripe and bitterness level came to watch the Fish fall to the Braves, 4-0, while indulging their favorite slice-o-life fantasy: dressing up like a scantily clad she-slave with daddy issues.

As the above screenshot and linked video display in vivid colour, young baseball fans will stop at nothing to distract themselves from the awfulness of the Florida Marlins. It was either attend this Marlins game or watch the recently released Star Wars blu rays, in which George Lucas manages to rape his own corpse while still living.

No word on Fredi Gonzalez’ reaction to the stormtrooper looming over his shoulder during the exchange of lineup cards. Upon hearing the ‘trooper in question became the first member of the Imperial Army to hit a target in his previous training session, Gonzalez signed him to play right field and hit sixth instead of Jason Heyward. Gotta go with the hot hand, right?