Houston Astros outfielder Jordan Schafer is not a very good baseball player. That he now plies his trade for the Houston Astros is testament to that fact. Schafer, suspended for HGH usage last season as a member of the Atlanta Braves, added to his life troubles last night when he was pulled over and subsequently charged with felony possession of marijuana. Hit the jump for the sticky icky details.

The Houston Chronicle reports Schafer was pulled over in his Land Rover when an unmarked car detected the unmistakable odour of marijuana in his vehicle, which also had expired plates.

The police report indicates Schafer held a joint in his hand while operating his vehicle. Not a great idea. Reading the rest of the report makes it a little more clear why that might seem like a good idea to Jordan Schafer:

The police conducted a traffic stop for the expried plate and found a clear plastic bag with a leafy substance that tested positive as marijuana.

The 25.9 grams that the police report claims were in the bag exceed the 20-gram cutoff for felony charges rather than misdemeanor. Schafer also, according to the report, had three marijuana peanut butter cups in the car and claimed ownership of all the drugs.

Marijuana peanut butter cups?!? The rich really know how to live.

This story is pretty harmless, save the fact that Schafer was operating his vehicle while under the influence. Drugs or booze – don’t drive when you’re partying. It’s a weak move by anybody. If we lived in a just world, that would be the true crime, not carrying around a substantial amount of weed.

The peanut butter cups are certainly intriguing. They certainly help explain the below video from this past June. I bet he wishes he couldn’t feel his face on that day, amirite?