The Chicago White Sox have hired Robin Ventura to be the team’s 38th manager (the 17th of whom played for the White Sox), replacing Ozzie Guillen who departed before the season’s conclusion to take a job with the Florida Marlins.

Unworried by a lack of experience, general manager Kenny Wiliams told reporters:

I wanted someone who met very specific criteria centered around his leadership abilities and Robin Ventura was that man.

The only explicable specific criteria:

  • Former White Sox player.
  • Engaged in fisticuffs with the owner of another Major League Baseball team.

Of course, I have little doubt that Robin Ventura, a well liked person who stayed close with the organization while never taking on an official role, will be a great manager. This statement assumes that Adam Dunn will return to his normal numbers next year, Alex Rios will play better and Juan Pierre will stop wasting the team’s time.

You didn’t honestly think I’d pass up the opportunity to show this, did you?