Anatomy of a Hater

This is a screengrab from Albert Pujols’s personal facebook page. The comment above are not unusual. They are also not acceptable in a just or fair society. Which brings us to my new mission in life – embarrassing “people” who think this type of behaviour is okay as much as I can. They spew their sickening hatred all over the world, it is our duty to let them know it don’t fly.

Let us use the collective might of the internet to expose them as the hateful sacks of filth they really are. It is the way of a democratic society. Let their own words hang them.

Friends, I’d like you to meet Bobby Wilson, Albert Pujols hater.

Bobby Wilson has many interests, I am sure. He is clearly a big Cards fan so we can understand his disappointment with the two World Series titles in the last five years. Bobby isn’t happy that Albert left so he wishes Albert to die.

Bobby Wilson is a suave dude. You don’t get that way overnight. Nope, you need to workout, as Bobby insists he does right below the employment section of his facebook page. Bobby keeps it real down at the Dominoes Pizza, I wish I could have made up. Assistant Manager, eff you very much!

Chief among Bobby’s other, non-Cards interest? Women. It says so right there on his facebook page!

You might be surprised to learn Bobby is a man of action. He isn’t into none of your books or reading or whatever. His favorite book? “Who reads.” Boom roasted. How does this impact Bobby’s outlook on life?

Take us home, Bobby.

Don’t be afraid to friend the crap out of Bobby on Facebook and tell him how awesome you think he is.

Update: I closed the comments because they stopped being fun/funny. Thanks for your invaluable contribution, Bobby!

Comments (68)

  1. Another classic from St. Bobby of Edwardsville’s Facebook page:

    “if i had a gun with two bullets in it, and was in the room with albert puljos, adolf hitler, and bin laden, I would shot puljos twice……..”

  2. Wow, you’re doing the Lord’s work Drew. I hope Bobby gets everything he deserves in life.

  3. the hilarity does not end there.

    Wall Posts by Bobby Wilson, Distinguished Gentleman:

    “if i had a gun with two bullets in it, and was in the room with albert puljos, adolf hitler, and bin laden, I would shot puljos twice……..”

    “Hey albert i hope your plain crashes on the way to l.a. I hope you hit your head and break both your fuckin legs: which will have to be amputated and watch the cardinals take the title agian in 2012 from a hospital bed eating from a straw. Fuck You go die.”

    Stay Classy, Bobby.

  4. If I had Bobby’s life I’d kill myself.

  5. People know this is a sport right, not like Albert Pujols murder someone…

  6. #humanstain hash tag sums it up perfectly.

  7. Dear Bobby,

    As a die hard Cardinals fan myself, you are an embarrassment to the entire City of St. Louis, the State of Missouri, and humanity in general. I so wish you were a Royals fan because you wouldn’t make me as sick as you do right now. Let Albert go, because you obviously can’t you self-absorbed, childish prick. If anything the Cardinals are a proud franchise who already have had “The Man”. Go root for the Yankees or Sox you bloated tubb of lard, you’ll fit right in.

    John from St. Louis

    • Pujols is an embarrassment to the entire city of St. Louis*

      • Isn’t Albert Pujols from Santo Domingo, the Dominican Republic? I would say that his conduct upon moving to St. Louis was pride worthy… enough so that there was talk after the (2nd) world series title he just helped the Cards win of statues being built in his honour.

        Silly, Silly haters.

    • hey john seem a lil angry….. would you like me to go on air and apologize.. well i was exsagerating for funny comments.. lol and bloated tubb of lard really… anyone can do better than that. lets go now.

  8. Friend request sent. Good work, Fairservice.

  9. This guy couldn’t be anymore of a loser archetype than if he was written into a Judd Apatow screenplay. Absolutely hilarious. Classic fat, midwestern slob. Perhaps his domestic partnership is with the guy in the mirror?

  10. Sports are very important.

  11. from bobby’s wall (and yes, I actually friended him):
    Paul Boudreau:
    Really? Go Die Albert? I mean honestly! That’s just ridiculous. And, for the record: plane is the thing that flies, plain is the kind of stupid you are (as in just plain stupid). Pujols name is spelled like that, not, Puljos… and Seriously man… get a life

    and a convo with him:
    Bobby Wilson
    Report · 12:02pm
    who are you
    Paul Boudreau
    Report · 12:03pm
    just a friendly troll
    Bobby Wilson
    Report · 12:03pm
    i know it was unnessary immediate anger
    Paul Boudreau
    Report · 12:04pm
    you’re famous :
    Bobby Wilson
    Report · 12:04pm
    lol puljos is the best i love em
    cool im famous
    thank you
    Paul Boudreau
    Report · 12:04pm
    have a good one mate
    Bobby Wilson
    Report · 12:04pm
    peace bro go blues
    fuck the habs
    Paul Boudreau
    Report · 12:05pm
    go leafs budd..
    the habs can rot
    Bobby Wilson
    Report · 12:05pm
    oh nice thats my favorite canadian team
    im going up there this summer
    u play nhl 12
    Paul Boudreau
    Report · 12:06pm
    not well


    an interesting dude, saint bobby of ill and annoyed

  12. lol i say funny things on facebook and you guys freak out lol

    • You aren’t getting off that easy, slob!

      • bro you need to think of a better fat joke then slop say like hater elephant or something

        • i seriously cannot tell whether this is Bobby or a parody. If it’s Bobby, dear Bobby, you’re basically an idiot savant, but don’t worry about what that means, just keep doing what you’re doing. If it’s a parody, dear sir/madam, well played, also please keep doing what you’re doing.

        • Calling you an elephant would be an insult to elephants worldwide. They are a proud and intelligent animal. You probably live in a trailer with your mama and her kin-folk.

  13. what up bloggers bobby wilson here i exasperated everything and u guys are freakin out. this is literally making my day keep em hahahah i dont care about albert leaving i was trying to make jokes for my friends to laugh at hahahaha

  14. hahaha you cant insult me no one knows you hahaha

    • He’s right…. who could possibly come up with a good insult for an obese pizza delivery driver from Missouri who can barely form a coherant sentence?

      • thats a little better.. bring the job into it ill give it a 7 good work keep trying

  15. if you guys like my opinion that much heres some more “sam bradford should take the rams to three superbowls before the end of his career”, “how about some jerome iginla coming to the blues for some deep playoff performances this year” and “the cardinals should go get prince?

  16. You’re no better than he is by making a blog about him. Did you write about him in your diary too?

  17. lol domestic partner ship was put there by a friend lol but it is funny. sorry if you super bloggers dont know humor or friendship… its called a prank ahhahahahaha

  18. Perhaps the saddest thing on Bobby’ page is what he lists as his favourite book: “Who Reads.” We should all be so pure in our disdain of literacy and modern athletes doing what modern athletes do.

  19. Welcome, Bobby! We welcome your rapier wit and in-depth analysis to the Getting Blanked commentariat.

    Try not to choke.

  20. Alright everyone new blog topic.. BETTER FAT JOKES…. lets hear em….. i have yet to be impressed!!!!!

    • I think it would be funny if you had a heart attack… does that count?

      • not bad but i dnt have breathing problems and deaths never funny 3

        • If death isn’t funny then why are all of your inside jokes about Pujols dying?

          Game. Blouses.

        • P.s. a heart attack affects your, uh… heart… not lungs… thought that one pretty much explained itself.

  21. He’s an egotistical moron… any attention is good attention. Who shits on one of the best players in the game because of a decision to go help out a different organization just for shits and giggles? I have the answer… Mr. Bobby Wilson

    • lol haha thank you for strongly valueing my opinion goldie i appreciated it and will take it in next time….. not terrible ending by the way im looking for good fat jokes

    • Q.Who shits on one of the best players in the game because of a decision to go help out a different organization just for shits and giggles?

      A. [FIXED] Bobby Wilson… and the Majority of the Greater St.Louis Area.

      • no, just the idiots who take it as a personal thing. im canadian… if jose bautista left toronto i wouldnt shit on him… its no ones decision but his and i value that

        • stick to hockey goldie p.s. ill kick your ass on xbox live in nhl12 legend 2 bro get with it go blues

          • sterotypical american… do you think i ride around on a polar bear too? i follow hockey, but baseball is my favourite sport. stick to playing chelly 12

        • Well then sir, you are a diamond in the rough. But since you are so understanding of peoples personal choices and value their personal decisions, why do you criticize Mr. Bobby Wilson for his? And it is the AMERICAN past time,not trying to call you out for being canadian, so can you not also be understanding and value peoples decisions to get upset at losing such a great athlete?

      • Yeah because Toronto has never shit all over a departed player…

  22. I think we gave birth to a troll.

  23. hahaha stupid haters.. alberts a greedy pig. screw albert lets go prince!!

    Goldie51- u call 260 million dollars shits and gigs? i call it greed

    • or… since you dont get that this money has to come from somewhere… other teams wanted him and he needed to get out of the NL… he will be better suited as a DH in a few years anyways

    • If someone called you and said they’d give you $260 million dollars over the next ten years, would you say no because you’d feel too greedy?

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