Remember John Rocker? You shouldn’t. He is a bigoted loud-mouth who wasn’t even a very good pitcher. Good thing he is now writing a book to set the record straight! Whenever you get the chance to read the fluffed up justifications of a has-been/never-was through the filter of a “celebrity biographer”, you jump at the chance.

Don’t let the five years of development scare you off this book, friends. You don’t want to be left in the dark when this piece of American literary canon becomes a staple of hausfraus and all-inclusive vacations when it is published, whenever that ends up being.

Here is the synopsis for “Scars and Strikes” from the blogspot dedicated to selling such wares:

Former Atlanta Braves closer John Rocker has been a lightning rod of controversy ever since a Sports Illustrated article in 2000 — an article he has always described as a well-planned character assassination. With the controversy still strong even more than five years after a shoulder injury forced his retirement from the Major Leagues, Rocker says he’s finally getting to tell his side of his story in his memoir, Rocker: Scars & Strikes.

The book, with celebrity biographer J. Marshall Craig, now available for pre-publication ordering, is a mixture of baseball memories, politics, “philosophies and feelings,” Rocker says.

Philosophies and feelings, folks. You can’t just get that by running your brain through every single photoshop filter available. That does, however, net you a pretty badass cover!

Hat tip to Productive Outs, who troll for this sort of stuff like it’s their job.

Comments (21)

  1. This is my favourite baseball blog and I read it several times daily but the P.C. self-righteousness that froths forth by the writer’s on a semi-regular basis sucks. You guys really need to get over you’re favourite college tactic for getting laid by social work undergrads and focus on continuing to write good articles.

    • While I don’t really disagree with what you’ve said here, I do wonder what it has to do with this piece in particular? It is bigoted? Is that the sticking point?

      • My apologies Drew

        “He is a bigoted loud-mouth who wasn’t even a very good pitcher.”
        On second reading this is a true statement. One of your peers takes it a bit beyond that sometimes. To be honest, I didn’t even look at the writer. Keep up the good work.

    • Calling John Rocker a bigot isn’t PC self-righteousness, it’s common sense.

  2. You’re Fucking Out, I’m Fucking In, by John Rocker.

    I love the layers of parody here.

    • LOL…OMG, your comment just made me realize that Eastbound and Down is actually the true story of John Rocker…awesome!

  3. Hats off to the flame effect guy. Top notch work.

  4. Scars and Strikes? I just puked.

  5. 3.42 career ERA in the steroid era (yes, I realize he juiced himself) isn’t what I would call horrible.

    Steroids, injuries, and controversy ended his career more so than his lack of talent.

  6. Best thing about John Rocker is Will Ferrell’s impression on SNL’s Weekend Update. “Shut up you homo Mexican… The Atlanta Braves and white people rule!”

  7. Scars and strikes? Is that a play on Stars and Stripes, because He Is America? Or Balls and Strikes, because he threw pitches (and also, you may recall he went through a period of being unable to hit the strike zone)? Mixed metaphor? Dumb bigot? Ohhhh the layers!

  8. It is strange that so much effort would be wasted filling pages with drivel of lesser value than the paper on which it is printed. Is this a pet rock sort of attempt? “Hey GUYYYYYYYYS, guess who just got a copy of John Rocker’s memoir!!!!” says the guy with the ‘i’m so camp’ t-shirt.

  9. I think he should be able to say and write whatever he wants, whether its racist, prejudice or or just plain hateful. Freedom of speech is essential even for the scum of the world.

    • One man’s freedom of speech does not nullify another’s right to not be the recipient of hate.

      • Ya, I tend to disagree with Atothe. While I believe in freedom of speech, I don’t believe in allowing racism, prejudice, or hate in the effort to uphold freedom of speech. There is a line in the sand here…

        • No there isn’t. He IS allowed to say whatever he wants, he DID say it, and MLB teams responded accordingly by turfing the dumb motherfucker.

          If we don’t let assholes express themselves then how will we know whom to shun/ridicule?

  10. AIR GUITAR!
    I am sooo buying this book.
    I read Twitter, don’t I?
    #whatcouldgowrong

    • The REAL story of triumph here, how the celebrity “liberal” co-writer from Canada, J. Marshall Craig, actually forged an understanding with this, ahem, highly opinionated ultra-conservative man and was able to show a fair and unbiased side of him. I think that deserves a deeper look.

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