Gentleman Jeter

The New York Post, bless its soul, is reporting today on Derek Jeter’s personal policies for female house guests of the amorous variety. According to the newspaper’s source:

Derek has girls stay with him at his apartment in New York, and then he gets them a car to take them home the next day. Waiting in his car is a gift basket containing signed Jeter memorabilia, usually a signed baseball.

Obviously. Cash is tres gauche.

Speaking of which, unfortunately for the single ladies of New York, the jig may be up after one small oversight:

This summer, he ended up hooking up with a girl who he had hooked up with once before, but Jeter seemed to have forgotten about the first time and gave her the same identical parting gift, a gift basket with a signed Derek Jeter baseball. He basically gave her the same gift twice because he’d forgotten hooking up with her the first time!

The article goes on to reveal some of Jeter’s practices for picking up women, which include throwing cocktail parties, inviting women out to smaller restaurants owned by friends and being the shortstop of the New York Yankees.

At least somewhere, a douche bag is considering upping his post amorous tryst policy from subway token to cab fare, just to be a little bit more like Derek Jeter.

Comments (14)

  1. Brilliant…I am going straight to Sport Check and I’m picking up a box of baseballs. Then, I’m going to Walmart to pickup some baskets. Grab a bit of fruit, throw it in the basket, sign the ball. Voila! I’m a baller…I am totally doing this…

  2. My strategy of attaching a hundred dollar bill to a fishing line and reeling it in seems less classy now.

  3. we have a winner!

  4. Isn’t the goal to have them make you food the next day, be it breakfast or lunch, and then send them on their merry way?

  5. Possible pick up line:
    “…and I’m a Gold Glover.”
    “Oh Derek, you’re adorable

  6. Jeter? I hardly know ‘er!

  7. “inviting women out to smaller restaurants owned by friends”

    Where he no doubt orders two plates of the Italian favourite ‘Pasta Diving Jeter’

  8. HAHAHA. awesome

  9. Nothing wrong here – he isn’t married, engaged or attached in anyway. I see nothing wrong here.

    The gifting process is likely to make the girl feel less slutty for giving it up in under 30min.

    I mean the average guy has to spend several hours with a woman before she will sleep with him.

    It’s amazing how it’s impossible to find something wrong with the guy. He and Clooney should write a manual on how to be a celebrity yet still live the most baller life free of ridicule.

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