I really wanted to give the Baltimore Orioles the benefit of the doubt with this one. I had prepared my argument in advance, and thought that making a trade for Alfonso Soriano wasn’t nearly as dumb as the people I follow on Twitter were suggesting, especially if the deal can be worked out in a similar fashion to the one that the Cubs made earlier this week with the Miami Marlins.

Then, I looked at Soriano’s numbers from last year.

Alfonso Soriano: 508 PA, 5.3% BB%, 22.2% K%, .289 OBP, 1.3 WAR.

Then, I looked at Soriano’s birth date.

Alfonso Soriano will turn 36 years old tomorrow.

Then, I looked at the outfielders on the Baltimore Orioles’ 40 man roster.

The Orioles already have Adam Jones, Nick Markakis, Nolan Reimold and even EndyChavez on their 40 man roster.

Then, I looked deep within myself and thought, “Dustin, you’re being too hard on the Orioles. Maybe that Adam Jones trade that’s been rumoured most of the off season is finally close to getting done, and the team doesn’t have any other options to play outfield next season.” So, then I looked at possible other options that wouldn’t involve giving up assets to acquire.

These are some of the free agent outfielders yet to sign contracts for the coming year:

Rick Ankiel, Johnny Damon, J.D. Drew, Kosuke Fukudome, Raul Ibanez, Conor Jackson, Ryan Ludwick, Cody Ross, Luke Scott (whom the Orioles non-tendered) and Marcus Thames.

There is absolutely no reason whatsoever for any team to be even the slightest bit interested in Alfonso Soriano. Absolutely none. Zero. Zilch. And in that long list of teams that should have no interest in Alfonso Soriano, the Baltimore Orioles are ranked at the very bottom in their need for Alfonso Soriano. They are, however, given last year’s Vladimir Guerrero signing, ranked first in teams that should know better than to think they have any use whatsoever in Alfonso Soriano.