Earlier today, I wrote that I would’ve preferred that the Toronto Blue Jays pushed forward to acquire Koji Uehara rather than sign Francisco Cordero to a free agent contract. It ends up that the Toronto Blue Jays felt rather similarly.

According to Richard Durrett of ESPN Dallas, via MLB Trade Rumors, Uehara used a no trade clause in his contract to block a deal that would’ve sent him to Toronto.

The only thing left for all of us to presume is that a bro on bro arm blast between Uehara and Brett Lawrie would’ve resulted in the violent destruction of the earth as we know it. The right handed reliever, with strikeout to walk rates higher than Robert Downey Jr. during his “fun” days, foresaw the potential for this mass destruction and out of fear for humanity, rejected the trade.

I may not always understand you, Koji, but I will always trust in your most excellent pitching and what I can only assume is your equally excellent foresight.

Comments (23)

  1. I feel like the quiet simmering anger of Jose Bautista would have either quelled such destruction or made it inevitable.

  2. Kidding aside, I do not blame Koji for blocking the trade. Rangers have been to the WS twice in a row, have only gotten better, and now he’s got a countryman on his team.

    Don’t get too offended, Toronto.

  3. I’ve read some internet warblings from Rangers fans that claim Koji pouted about the trade to Texas. That his family live in Baltimore & that they quite like it there.

    The last time I was in Baltimore I witnessed a woman throw a bottle of piss at a dude. But to each their own I guess.

    So…there’s that.

  4. I had this all wrong. The failure to sign Yu Darvish cost the Blue Jays two Japanese pitchers. Worst. Offseason. Ever.

  5. Who said we wanted him in the first place!

  6. An arm blast from Lawrie = a trip to Dr. Andrews for Koji.

  7. Oh, crazy Lawrie GIF, how I’ve missed you…

    As for Koji, eh… hopefully that doesn’t come back to bite the Jays in the ass somehow.

  8. He’ll probably end up back in Baltimore as he wants, dominating us for another consecutive season.

  9. I said that Uehara had a no-trade clause against Toronto in the comments for the Cordero signing.

    Where is my +1? I’m sad as a panda right now.

    • Also, I wrote the last comment on the first Uehara piece by Parkes on the 23rd…I even added a “LAWL” as a different take on the “LOL”.

      Sad as a panda,


    • Well I made a joke about a Koji/Lawrie high five ending the world and i didn’t get credit, but you don’t see me complaining…. Except just now when I complained.

  10. a) Why would you want to leave the defending world champs.

    b) If leaving is inevitable, then there’s a good chance that Toronto would flip him at the deadline, so that probably played into it.

  11. I won’t distress too much over this; his surname vowel:consonant ratio was somewhat alarming.

  12. Fuck you Dawphin! Fuck you whale!

  13. The saddest thing about the failure to unite Lawrie and Uehara (or Darvish) as teammates means no Battle of the Boners – Maple vs Bamboo

  14. Good think Koji rejected the deal, the last thing the Jays should do is give up this years Mike Napoli for another reliever.

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