MLB Fan Cave is taking applications from sadists across the continent who are willing to subject themselves to the ¬†particularly cruel and unusual punishment of having to view every single baseball game that’s played while being imprisoned in a New York condominium unit.

I wouldn’t wish such a fate on my worst enemy, but if it’s going to happen to someone anyway, they might as well get a person who doesn’t make me want to gouge my eyeballs out with a spoon (and not one of those ones that you use with pie that’s half fork, a very, very dull one, with rust on it too) to present goofy videos and try to maintain the Fan Cave phenomenon’s relevance for another year.

Enter, this guy. He seems nice, friendly, affable and a collector of baseball hats. And he’s neither overly sentimental or overly eager. Just a regular guy who can talk fast and was creative enough to think of a way for his application video to stand out among the others. You could do way worse.

Good luck, Pat Doran.