Considering how much information in conveyed in this single tweet, I think Andrew Baggarly is either a genius or one of the greatest writers of his time. This single tweet sent my mind into so many vivid places, I can only marvel at the incredible economy of language used by the San Jose Mercury News beat hound to paint a surreal picture in my mind’s eye.

Kudos to him, and to Tim Lincecum for stepping into the heady role of poetic baseball singularity with apparent ease. Don’t worry, Timmy is back down to his playing weight of 175 lbs, by the way. Frog kicks, y’all.