I wish I was kidding, but currently, the top story on MLB.com is about Miami Marlins new short stop Jose Reyes getting his dreadlocks cut for charity; complete with an 11-minute (!) video detailing every agonizing second. The hair is being sold on eBay with the proceeds going to the South Florida Make-A-Wish Foundation.

As of the time of this writing, Reyes’ hair was up to $4,350.00. My theory is that Mets’ GM Sandy Alderson is currently the top bidder, hoping that the hair is the source of Reyes’ powers. Don’t be surprised if Jason Bay, Lucas Duda and Daniel Murphy trot out to their positions on Opening Day with Reyes’ dreads taped to the inside of their hats. When the admittedly foolish experiment fails, Alderson can respond to questions with a steadfast “I don’t know, probably vampires or something.”

And that, my friends, is how you write 140 words on a baseball player getting his hair cut.

This is the reality of early February for baseball fans. Most of the major free agents have found a resting place and teams’ rosters are generally set, aside from a few minor moves here and there. It’s now just a matter of waiting for those four beautiful words: Pitchers and Catchers Report.

But let’s face it, even that modest novelty wears off after a day or two and we’re still left waiting for the games that matter.

And the rest:

The whole Cecil/Prince Fielder thing is already getting kind of old and the season hasn’t even started yet. Adding more fuel to what should be a rather private fire, Cecil took to the Tampa Times to lambaste his son for something or other. This isn’t the first time Cecil has tried to paint his son as the bad guy in a situation that ideally should be handled behind closed doors. This is a complicated matter that involves Prince’s mother and Cecil going through a rather nasty divource among other things, including Cecil gambling away millions of dollars and allegedly taking some of Prince’s signing bonus when he was drafted by Milwaukee. To his credit, Prince has stayed high above the fray, gracefully deflecting any questions regarding his relationship with his father. I hope this is the last time we hear about their relationship, but I have a feeling we’ll be hearing a lot more as the next nine years progress.

There was a lot of moral prophesising going on yesterday after news broke that Rangers star outfielder Josh Hamilton had relapsed slightly in his battle with addiction, having a few drinks last Monday in a Dallas bar. Those of you who follow me on Twitter know my feelings on the situation and I won’t recount them here, but I will say that the best piece written on the subject was by The Platoon Advantage’s, and Getting Blanked contributor, the Common Man.

Today in Too Awesome For Words: Brooks Baseball, home of the indispensible Pitch F/X tool, and the Hardball Times have release “Player Cards.” There goes my February.

The U.S. Consulate has apparently backtracked on pardoning “Fausto Carmona” and “Leo Nunez” for falsifying their identities in order to escape a life of poverty in the Dominican Republic. Between this stuff, the collective bargaining agreement, and the recent talk of opening up Latin America to the draft, I’m really glad we’re keeping those yacht-owning, Bentley-driving, Cristal-sipping Dominican kids in check.

Manny Ramirez is reportedly deciding between the A’s, Orioles, and yes, the Blue Jays. Andrew Stoeten, aka Ol’ Reliable, has some thoughts on this over at DJF.

In transaction news, the LA Dodgers have signed reliever Todd Coffey to a one-year, $1.3-million deal with a club option for 2013, while Shaun Marcum and Matt Garza have avoided arbitration with the Brewers and Cubs respectively.

Finally, I want you to keep in mind that Angels’ centerfielder Peter Bourjos had a wRC+ of 111 in 2011. He also makes catches like this one on a regular basis. Pay attention to just how far he has to go to make this play.