This scary little tidbit comes via our fearless leader here at palatial Score Towers. After some follow-up, the man who makes the decisions learned that number is last in all of cable, not just sports. Ouch.

As one might expect, the average Getting Blankard pines openly and loudly for MLB Network to make inroads into our home and native land. Many hands wrung at the One Mount Pleasant suits that hold out on us, the deprived baseball fan longing for an outlet. Perhaps those suits are not so out to lunch, after all.

If these are the kind of numbers MLB Network pulls in south of the 49th, imagine the kind of business it would do here in Canada? Unless some wise owl turns the Canadian version of MLB Network into a Big Brother-style surveillance show about Brett Lawrie, neither Gordie nor Dougie will tune in on the regular.

The ratings drive the business, or so I understand. If people aren’t watching, nobody will line up to give them money to show their ads. It’s what is known as “the nature of the beast.”

Which makes this article from the Onion’s AV Club even timelier. The author, Noel Murray, cites Clubhouse Confidential as his favorite sports show and wonders if entertainment reporters shouldn’t follow the lead of modern baseball writers and delve more deeply into the numbers. Murray suggests writing about movies and TV can greatly improve if writers do a little bit more research and get behind the big, flashy “dollars on opening weekend/overnight ratings” stats.

What kind of person watches the MLB Network? This is a question worth answering. Anecdotally, I would say the average viewer of Clubhouse Confidential is comfortably in the key 18-49 demographic and is educated enough to earn a tidy wage. That isn’t nothing when it comes to advertising dollars.

For MLB Network to continue in its current form, it must draw more viewers. Buying shirts and ties for Dave Cameron and Rob Neyer isn’t cheap. As with any corporate entity, the inner workings and creative accounting of MLB Advanced Media clouds the picture in terms of profits and revenues. Is MLBAM content to funnel content back to their incredibly profitable web arm?

Either way, this isn’t good news for those of us who wish to see all-baseball television in Canada. If the current CRTC license holders don’t think they can make a buck with baseball programming, they’ll gladly sit on it as long as they can.