Spring Dispatches – Monday

Picture day! Hooray. Not a single other thing matters more than staged photos, often taken in the strangest places. These posed photos might have the glamorous look of a junior high Jostens volume shoot but, as you can see after the jump, not everything is as it seems in the world of image manipulation.

Via the MSNBC photo blog comes proof that even if you make more than $20 million a year, you cannot escape a photoshoot in the men’s room.

Photo day at A’s camp! Brett Anderson lost 25 pounds this offseason. Sadly, most of it was elbow ligaments.

How do you not love Andrew McCutchen? LOOK AT HIM! He loves life and you should respond in kind. What a winning smile! Too bad playing in Pittsburgh will grind his good will into a fine paste in no time.

Your daily dose of Astros depression: who among these seven names is the most likely to “succeed?” I don’t know what is more depressing, that the GM is third in the voting or that Brett Wallace isn’t last.

Two steps forward, one step back for the Orioles. They’re increasing their emphasis on situational hitting and working the count/getting on base. They want more of their hitters to be like Nolan Reimold, who they effectively blocked (and demoted) last year and will fight for playing time against this year. OriLOLes.

Keeping it in the Beltway, Stephen Strasburg and Bryce Harper almost met in live batting practice! The prospect pr0n streams nearly crossed! But then they didn’t. Mark DeRosa stepped in against the Nats ace indstead. He said this: “That’s special,” DeRosa said. “That’s what that is.” You’re damn right, Mark.

Because of course! From the Miami Herald comes video of Mike Stanton taking live BP. Nothing actually happens in this video but, hey, Mike Stanton!

Not unlike Travis’ preview this afternoon, the Chicago Tribune runs down three key Sox players who need to step up for the Pale Hose this year. I assume this is part one of an 8.333 part series.

Answer Dave photobombs a D-Jay the Blue Jay photo shoot. Is this a preview of the new Ace or just the Dunedin Blue Jays mascot? INTRIGUE!