[President Obama’s] birth certificate has yet to be validated. If they can counterfeit $100 bills, I think it’s a million times easier to counterfeit a birth certificate, if you ask me. So, all it is, let’s just see if it’s real. Anybody can produce a document, so let’s check it out.
- Luke Scott (May 3, 2011)

Luke Scott had an interesting off season. Despite being only being a year removed from 27 home runs and a .387 wOBA, the (let’s be honest) designated hitter was non-tendered by the Baltimore Orioles, who didn’t want to give the left handed batter a minimal raise from the $6.4 million he earned in 2011.

Cue the Tampa Bay Rays, who offered the outspoken player a one year deal worth a guaranteed $6 million, that includes a $1 million buyout if the club doesn’t pick up its $6 million option for 2013. The signing acted as a catalyst for internet funny men who imagined the comedic possibilities of Scott and Kyle Farnsworth coexisting in the same club house. It would be like an episode of The Dugout had come to life.

Requisite Reading: Dave Brown’s interview with Luke Scott at the winter meetings in 2010 for Big League Stew.

According to Marc Topkin of the Tampa Bay Times, Scott is holding up his end of the bargain when it comes to unintentional comedy. Almost as if the unsurprisingly avid hunter was self aware and understanding of irony, the slugger showed up to camp with two 7½ foot spears that are used for the hunting of wild pigs.

Showing the instruments of death to teammates, he offered to his comrades:

Take a look, see what you think, come out [hunting] if you want.

Perhaps “comrades” is a poor choice of words. In the same session with the media, Scott also told the gathered reporters:

You don’t have to worry about me unless you’re a criminal or a communist.

Good to know. Getting Blanked will not be sending out Travis Reitsma to interview Luke Scott anytime soon. Apparently, the extra 2% in this free agent signing was comedic relief. Or fresh boar meat.

Comments (13)

  1. I assume Luke Scott foregoes MLBPA licensing revenue just like he’ll be forgoing his pension in the very near future. It’s the red-blooded, patriotic thing to do. I’m just saying, to put it out there.

  2. Luke Scott is a missing link in the fossil records that he probably thinks are made up.

  3. at least he isn’t calling them savages or throwing plantain chips at them ….yet

  4. HA! S-seriously though. I’m both of those things…I-I’m a little scared.

  5. i don’t get the farnsworth reference

  6. Anyone watch American Hoggers and other hog hunting shows? Apparently there’s a feral hog problem down south.

  7. Looks like I won’t be seeing the Tampa Bay Rays this year. Luke Scott might hunt me down and spear me for my political beliefs. I wonder what he would do if I told him I was gay?

  8. In South Carolina, its actually legal to eat road kill (according to Hairy Bikers TV show).

    So yeah, there is alot of good ole boy shit happening down south that we don’t know about.

  9. Doesn’t it seem odd that Luke Scott, a certified (certifiable) right-winger, would end up with the Tampa Bay Rays? Always talking about the “2%”, taking “revenue sharing” subsidies? Sounds pretty socialist to me. Even their crowds are about the same size as a medium size occupy camp. Although I might take a good tent or yurt over their stadium.

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