It’s no secret that baseball personality Keith Law enjoys administering healthy doses of snark in both his columns for ESPN.com and on Twitter. While humourous to many, his barbs tend to rub certain elements of each team’s fan base the wrong way.

Those personally offended by Law’s take can most accurately be described by whatever words you would normally use to simultaneously express superiority and disdain. Personally, I choose to refer to them as unwashed mouth breathers who dare to eat at The Olive Garden.

Nonetheless,┬áseveral┬átimes a day, Law’s wry comments are misconstrued as being blatantly biased, with the common connotation being that his opinions are tainted by a deep seeded hatred of the team on which he’s commenting.

His defense of such accusations is likely best summed up by the infamous W.C. Fields’ quote:

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

So, without further ado, may I present to you, in order, the top thirty baseball teams that Keith Law hates:

1. Arizona Diamondbacks
1. Atlanta Braves
1. Baltimore Orioles
1. Boston Red Sox
1. Chicago White Sox
1. Chicago Cubs
1. Cinncinnati Reds
1. Cleveland Indians
1. Colorado Rockies
1. Detroit Tigers
1. Houston Astros
1. Kansas City Royals
1. Los Angeles Angels
1. Los Angeles Dodgers
1. Miami Marlins
1. Milwaukee Brewers
1. Minnesota Twins
1. New York Mets
1. New York Yankees
1. Oakland Athletics
1. Philadelphia Phillies
1. Pittsburgh Pirates
1. San Diego Padres
1. San Francisco Giants
1. Seattle Mariners
1. St. Louis Cardinals
1. Tampa Bay Rays
1. Texas Rangers
1. Toronto Blue Jays
1. Washington Nationals

Honourable mention: Yuma Scorpions.

Less objectively, the thirty way tie could also be summed up like this:

1. Your favourite team.
2. Every other team.

Comments (15)

  1. Huh, I always thought #1 was the St. Louis Cardinals. Cardinals’ fans really love to bitch about how much Law hates their team. Going by his chats, disgruntled Cards’ fans always seem to be in the majority.

    • Because he used a Cy Young vote to display his bias against them (voting entirely reasonably, I might add, but whatever). The rest of the bias is just articles, but this was one VOTE that didn’t actually affect the outcome of an AWARD. That’s important stuff.

  2. Posted by Dustin Parkes under I hope Keith finds this funny enough to RT on Mar 06, 2012

  3. Love the, “under No. You’re A Slow News Day”

  4. I knew he hated the Blue Jays the most.

  5. Law’s alright.

    I’m more of a Rosenthal kinda guy myself.

  6. http://deadspin.com/5891008/espns-keith-law-is-a-fan-of-bad-spring-training-twitpics-unless-it-involves-one-of-his-photos

    hahaha…man, it’s like some people never figured out that there are good reasons everyone hated them from the time they were little kids. keith law is one of those people.

  7. While I don’t really understand all the tongue justice Law gets from Parkes, Stoeten, et al., I don’t have any reason to think he hates my favorite team or anybody else’s.

    However, I wish he’d lay off the insufferable pronouncements on cuisine. Sorry Keith, but unless you have an 800 degree Salamander in your household kitchen, you do not, repeat “Do Not,” broil (that is to say “try to broil”) a steak in the oven. Either wait till you can fire up the (charcoal, one would hope) grill, or sear it in a hot, pre-heated pan on top of the stove, and then finish it (by roasting) for a few minutes in the oven. And don’t buy a steak less than two inches thick. (You can share it you know. That’s what knives are for.)

    It’s another regrettable instance of the American penchant for watching cooking on TV instead of actually cooking, or learning to cook.

    On the positive side, Law continues to think Snider will be a player, and for that antidote to the general nonsense on the subject I am grateful.

    • Law recommended Ruhlman’s Twenty on one of his podcasts (which I then asked for as a Christmas gift, and has really helped me improve my cooking) so the cuisine stuff ain’t all bad.

    • Keith makes pronouncements on food. You just made pronouncements on food. What’s the difference, that his megaphone is bigger than yours?

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