Today on the great Phillies site (and friend to Getting Blanked) Crashburn Alley, Michael Baumann passionately argues against the designated hitter. The piece is epic in scale and ambition. Pitches hitting is bunk, of course, but the case is so compelling it just might change your mind.

The argument often made against pitchers hitting is that they aren’t athletic and shouldn’t be allowed to run, let alone hit. The often-cited case of the broken foot Chein-Ming Wang suffered while cruising into home plate usually serves as all the evidence anybody needs.

Wang now pitches for the Nationals and he continues to make the case that he is physically incapable of running. Period. He cannot coordinate his arms and legs together to ensure he safely locomotes at an increased rate of speed. At all. He just falls down and all his body parts explode. Every time.

Hit the jump for the most damning GIF of all time.

Unbelievable. This amazing gif comes from our friend Bill Baer, who wrote a downright astute post for ESPN arguing that BABIP-denier Jeremy Hellickson will be fine this year. Who am I to disagree?