Trevor Bauer, you are disgusting. From your exhibitionist “foul pole to foul pole” displays of obscene flexibility to starting your own Youtube channel full of NSFW slo-mo pitching pr0n, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Peddling your tawdry wares, rendering grown men incapable of turning away from the 480 frame per second poetry you slather across the internets.

Grainy footage of a 19 year-old capable of putting six feet of distance between your knees – SHOW SOME COUTH, MAN. Bauer Outage, indeed.

Next thing you are going to tell me is your use your twitter to engage in the most repugnant among us, the pitch f/x gurus, with exacting detail of the pitches you throw and your specific names for them. Disgusting. I know it when I see it, young man. Debasing yourself in a way not fit for man or beast.

Reverse slider? Not in my backyard, buddy!