Jamie Moyer has been around so long that jokes about his age went from funny, to yawn inducing, to annoying, and then right back around to funny again just as long as they’re done with ironic detachment or a sense of awareness at how boring or bothersome they are.

Last night, at the ripe old age of 49 years and five months, Moyer became the oldest pitcher in baseball history to ever win a game. He did so by pitching seven innings of shut out baseball, while not looking a day over 47, as his Colorado Rockies went on to beat the San Diego Padres 5-3.

However, before we go on to anoint Moyer as our baseball grandpa forever, it should be mentioned that the geezer was only able to strike one of the 27 batters he faced, while never throwing harder than 78.6 miles per hour. Of the 77 pitches he threw, five were swung on and missed, four of which came on his 72 miles per hour change up, which according to Brooks Baseball, he threw more often than his fastball.

Here is his velocity chart for the game:

The real story for the Rockies though was about luck as they turned four double plays in the game, three of which occurred with Moyer on the mound. According to Paul Swydan of FanGraphs, since 1918, four double plays have been turned in less than 0.5% of the 317,052 games that have been played.

So, while last night was certainly a nice thing to happen, Moyer winning a whole lot of games this season isn’t all that likely. But don’t expect that to stop things like this from happening:

Never one to let a dull meme die, Joe Posnanski one ups Olney here. Thankfully, Michael Clair is around to give last night’s accomplishment its proper context.

Here’s a look at Moyer through the years:

And The Rest

Sometimes lineups just click. Sometimes pitchers have trouble. The Texas Rangers and Boston Red Sox reliever Mark Melancon represented the intersection of these two facts last night. [Over The Monster]

The Milwaukee Brewers beat the Los Angeles Dodgers in a walk off with catcher George Kottaras providing heroics of the home run variety. [Disciples Of Uecker]

Ozzie Guillen returned last night. [ESPN]

The Roger Clemens trial is proving to be just as big of a waste of time and money since the last time a baseball player was tried for perjury. [CBC]

I’m rather certain that Drew Fairservice totally jinxed Chris Young with his post yesterday, as the Arizona Diamondbacks’ outfielder took a tumble into a wall last night. [MLB.com]

Could Washington Nationals starter Jordan Zimmerman sign the next big contract extension? [Washington Post]

The indisputable hit of the coming summer. [YouTube via Dave Burrows]

If you think the latest edition of the Toronto Blue Jays has a lot of swagger, you should’ve seen baseball teams in the early 17th Century. [Google Ngram Viewer]

Should the New York Yankees start playing Brett Gardner against left handed pitchers more often? [Star-Ledger]

While I’m not so hopeful as to think it’s merely  ”one of the last remaining areas of bigotry in America,” I do find it surprising that there hasn’t been an openly gay player in Major League Baseball. [Full Spectrum Baseball]

Tampa Bay Rays manager Joe Maddon certainly has no problems running out a lineup of lefties against left handed pitcher Ricky Romero, who seems to be trying to adjust to the Danks Theory. [DRaysBay]

Finally, it’s the important question of the day: Who eats popcorn one popped kernel of corn at a time? Tampa Bay Rays second baseman Elliot Johnson does, that’s who.