On April 24th, we took some gentle liberties with Pedro Alvarez’s struggles at the plate here at Getting Blanked. The Pirates third baseman for life posted a hideous slash line of .108/.132/.270 and an unsightly .175 wOBA. We joked about how many home runs in a row Alvarez needs to reach even a league-average level of production, taking the thin post premise much farther than it deserved. Pedro Alvarez can barely make contact, he’ll never hit eleven home runs in a row lol.

A funny thing happened over the next seven days: Pedro Alvarez went HAM at the plate. Pedro Alvarez is now, miraculously, a league-average hitter. Better than average, actually.

While he didn’t go on the “required” consecutive homer streak we playfully suggested he needed to reach the lofty heights of acceptable, he is red hot. In the seven days since that fateful GB post, Pedro Alvarez owns a .364/.417/.955 slash line. Eight hits, four doubles and three home runs. Even two walks! That is good enough for a .567 wOBA over the past seven days!!!

This incredible offensive explosion (he even hit a home run against a left-handed pitcher last night) raises Alvarez’s overall slash line to .203/.242/.525 and his wOBA to a heroic .327! Way above league average!

Sure, he still only has three walks and three singles to his name and he’s striking out in more than 35% of his plate appearances but, c’mon! .525 slugging! He has a higher ISO than Adam Dunn! These are tiny victories worth celebrating. Just because one out of every two fly balls went over the fence last week doesn’t mean this version of Pedro Alvarez isn’t “for real.”

We were wrong to doubt you, Pedro. May you enjoy your time in the sun. Hopefully you experienced a batting epiphany and will now lead the Pirates to the hallowed grounds of “winning more games than they lose.” You and your beleaguered team mates deserve at least that much.