Cheer up, Lance. We still love you.

This week we have an overabundance of Berkman, an overabundance of Blue Jays, Nyjer Morgan not being weird and…David Segui? Really? Okay.

I’d rather have him step it up this year. I’ve had conversations with him, it’s really hard for him, because he’s not playing that well, to be that guy he was last year. Unfortunately, sometimes you can’t be yourself. Last year, things were going so well, he could be himself. This year, I’d like him to be a little bit more of that guy. But he’s really concentrating, trying to figure out how to get his swing back and start playing like he did last year.

Seriously, Ron Roenicke. If you can’t get Nyjer Morgan to be loud and insane then you’re probably pretty terrible at your job. Get it together.

Other than sabermetric types who dream about walks and OBP, I don’t think most baseball fans think of Berkman in Hall of Fame terms and I’m sure some of you will be insulted that I’m using Berkman and Hall of Fame in the same sentence.

Yes, David Schoenfield, “us sabermetric types” dream about walks and OBP. That is totally what sabermetrics are all about. The best part is he quotes Berkman’s OBP like 2 paragraphs later. So..wait…is he trying to denigrate sabermetrics or not? I’m confused. I kind of think Schoenfield might be too.

In my heart, this is exactly what I thought they would find at a minimum, I’m not putting the cart before the horse. I’m going to defer to [the specialists'] wisdom. It would be premature to write or report there’s a problem with the ACL until we know for sure. The question is — is it stable enough to do what you need it to do or not.

More Berkman! Personally, I would be extremely upset if Lance’s ACL is the reason for the end of his career. You can’t give amazing post-game quotes from a hospital bed. Get healthy and start hitting dingers again, please.

The Yankees are not for sale. I expect that the Yankees will be in my family for many years to come.

Hal Steinbrenner was then offered Ken Phelps in return for the Yankees and immediately said yes because he loves Phelps’ bat. By the way, if any of you need recycled jokes from other 16-year-old sitcom episodes, I’m totally your guy.

He’s naked so I don’t think he’s carrying much. That relaxes that bit of the drama. I guess naked is better. Less to worry about.

I’ve got nothing. Good one, David Freese. Will you be the one to fill the Berkman-sized hole in the quotesphere?

It really is the heartbeat of a club. It is really hard and getting harder to find catchers who can contribute with their (offensive) ability but also have that innate leadership and intellectual gifts to own a staff.

Dan O’Dowd clearly doesn’t follow JP Arencibia on Twitter. Wait…was I joking just now? I’m genuinely asking because I honestly don’t know. That probably isn’t good.

I know a lot of people, they think, ‘Oh, the Hall of Fame, blah blah blah,’ but you know something? The Bible says that it’s better to be in the Book of Life, and that’s where I want to be. … So what if you got a Hall-of-Fame career and your soul is gonna be lost?

Are you ready for the deep, thoughtful, spiritual Manny Ramirez in your life? I’m not sure I am but I’m extremely curious to see where this goes.

In a story May 21 about the Blue Jays-Rays game, The Associated Press reported erroneously that Kyle Drabek was the first AL starter to walk at least six batters, have at least three wild pitches and earn the victory since Juan Guzman of Texas on July 15, 1994. Guzman pitched for Toronto.

You heard it here first, folks. Kyle Drabek is basically Juan Guzman. Prove me wrong, Pitch F/X, prove me wrong. Also, how dare you disrespect the memory of Juan Guzman like that, Associated Press? For shame.

I felt pretty good. I don’t know if it was the best. It’s hard to compare some of the others to this one just because they’re different, I’m a different pitcher now than I was last year even, or especially four or five years ago with the first one I had. But I felt like I pitched really well.

Aw, you’re not that different, Justin. You’re still really, ludicrously, ridiculously good at pitching. Please keep doing it for many years.

He mentioned that he had kept darts to get his wife off his back, he mentioned that the relationship between Brian and Roger had put stress on his married life. … Coming and going … leaving at the drop of a hat to go train,” said Segui, recalling other parts of the conversation.  Segui, who has acknowledged using performance-enhancing drugs during his 15-year baseball career with seven teams, wasn’t allowed to say that “darts” means “needles.”

David Segui used performance-enhancing drugs? David Segui couldn’t even hit a home run in Ken Griffey Jr’s Slugfest on Nintendo 64. And that game had the word Slugfest in the title. Maybe I was just really bad at it. No, that’s definitely not it. It’s definitely David Segui not being very good at baseball (except for that one year).