According to a report from Roch Kubatko of MASNsports.com via MLB Trade Rumors, the Baltimore Orioles have agreed to sign 49-year-old left-hander Jamie Moyer to a Minor League contract that will see him start for Baltimore’s Triple-A affiliate on Saturday.

All of this raises the question, how awful is Moyer’s family that he feels the need to go to these lengths to avoid them?

Many believed that the old man’s career would be over after he was released by the Colorado Rockies earlier this week. Over ten starts this season for the Rockies, Moyer was pretty terrible. With a fastball that averaged 77 miles per hour, he was incredibly easy for batters to hit, as evidenced by the league leading 75 hits he’d given up.

Between Moyer and Dontrelle Willis, the Orioles have really cornered the market on shit bag left handers whose best days are behind them.