According to a report from Roch Kubatko of via MLB Trade Rumors, the Baltimore Orioles have agreed to sign 49-year-old left-hander Jamie Moyer to a Minor League contract that will see him start for Baltimore’s Triple-A affiliate on Saturday.

All of this raises the question, how awful is Moyer’s family that he feels the need to go to these lengths to avoid them?

Many believed that the old man’s career would be over after he was released by the Colorado Rockies earlier this week. Over ten starts this season for the Rockies, Moyer was pretty terrible. With a fastball that averaged 77 miles per hour, he was incredibly easy for batters to hit, as evidenced by the league leading 75 hits he’d given up.

Between Moyer and Dontrelle Willis, the Orioles have really cornered the market on shit bag left handers whose best days are behind them.

Comments (19)

  1. Don’t forget Dana Eveland. I noticed him in their bullpen last week.

    • But are Eveland’s best days truly behind him?

      “Most of these guys never HAD a prime.” – C. Donovan.

  2. Willis isn’t terrible, just misused. He’s got a 502 career OPS against against lefties, so he can at least be a pretty good LOOGY. But it’s not exactly high praise when the best thing you can say about him is that he’s good for about 1/3 of an inning a game.

  3. My fastball hit 78 mph once. Where do I sign up?

  4. The OrioLOLs are back!

  5. Jamie Moyer is so old. How old is he you asked? Jamie Moyer is so old he struck out Dontrelle Willis’s great-great-great-great-great grandpa in little league on Sept 25th, 1486

  6. I am sick of hearing how old Moyer is and who was not alive when he first pitched. though i am not sick of hearing what the Orilolea are doing.

  7. Moyer is a veteran arm and an innings eater.

  8. Hey listen, good for Moyer. We should all be hoping to throw a ball 78 MPH by the time age 50 beckons. Even if he’s not a major league pitcher anymore, it’s a testament to how much he loves the game that he just doesn’t want to give it up — and we all have to respect that.

    • I did respect that in him a few years ago but now he’s losing that respect. I also respect those that know when to hang it up for the sake of dignity.

  9. You cant hate on a guy for wanting to play baseball until he dies. Why the fuck not?

    That being said…cant wait for the Jays to blast the fuck off of this guy in the Dome later this year…

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