Roger Clemens Found Not Guilty

After over seven weeks of testimony and millions of dollars of taxpayers’ money spent prosecuting the former Major League pitcher, Roger Clemens has been found not guilty on all all charges in the government’s perjury case against him.

If this is meaningful in any way whatsoever to you, I advise you to go outside, enjoy some sunshine, introduce yourself to others, make friends, sign up for a course, join a recreational sports league … do something other than what you’re doing right now because you are doing it very, very wrong.

To analyze and summarize the entire trial: