This is Cincinnati Reds prospect Billy Hamilton. Cincinnati Reds prospect Billy Hamilton is fast. He’s very fast. Not only is he fast, but he’s also good at base running.

I know this because since the beginning of last season, over two levels of Minor League Baseball, Hamilton has stolen 183 bases in 201 games. Over that same amount of time, he’s only been caught stealing 36 times, giving him a successful stolen base rate of 84%.

It’s exactly the type of thing that we’d normally spend time writing about at Getting Blanked, and yet, there have been few mentions of Hamilton on these pages. But why?

Given the player’s unquestionable proficiency at baseball’s running game, Billy Hamilton makes me think of stolen bases.

Stolen bases makes me think of thieving in general.

Thieving in general makes me think of thieving in specifics, and specifically car thieves.

Car thieves make me think of the film Gone In Sixty Seconds.

Gone In Sixty Seconds makes me think of Nicolas Cage.

Nicolas Cage reminds me of this:

And that’s why you don’t see more posts about Billy Hamilton at Getting Blanked.

Comments (10)

  1. There is no arguing with this logic.

  2. Billy Hamilton = Pachinko Cage.

    I can see it.

  3. Why did I subject myself to that video? Damn you, Parkes!

  4. Honestly, it could have ended at Nic Cage

    (ps, I love Nic Cage movies, they’re soooooo bad)


    I’m just going to leave this here. Easily one of the greatest things on the internet.

  6. Can we talk about how Nic Cage is the worst.

  7. I really wish I could play Pachinko. RIGHT NOWWWW!!!!!!!!!

  8. Alvaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! There you are!

  9. Nicholas Cage makes me think of Johnny Cage from Mortal Kombat, which makes me think of the fact that my Sega Game Gear required six AA batteries that ran out in a day, and that makes me angry.

  10. With this article, hopefully Billy Hamilton will not want to take your face off.

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