When I was twelve years old, the funniest thing in the world was making prank calls. Come to think of it, it still would be the funniest thing in the world, if not for time, responsibility, relationships and the Jerky Boys sort of killing it.
Anyway, back in the day, I considered myself something of a star performer when it came to phoning up random people under false pretenses. I enjoyed the imagined havoc that it all caused. While some of my friends had specific characters and calls that they’d make over and over again, my reputation for prank calling was built around my range. I could call up any number and pretend to be anyone, dragging my poor victim along for a ride that would inevitably end in anger on the other end of the line. Mission accomplished.
Despite my jack of all trades abilities, I did have one go-to performance in which I’d call a tobacco shop at the Portage Place mall, and in a gruff voice ask the person working there about their cigar inventory. Inevitably asking if they had any Cubans, and when they answered affirmatively, blurting out, “Are any of them named Juan?”
Oh, the hilarity.
According to Jesse Sanchez of MLB.com, the Los Angeles Dodgers have signed Cuban defector Yasiel Puig to a seven year contract worth $42 million. The agreement, pending a physical exam, would be the largest dollar figure ever spent on a Cuban baseball player, surpassing the four year, $36 million deal that the Oakland Athletics spent on outfielder Yoenis Céspedes in February.
Earlier this week, Ben Badler of Baseball America provided a less than sterling review of the 21 year old, and considering the influx of cash that the Dodgers are expecting to receive through an upcoming regional television deal, you could be forgiven for wondering if this won’t end up looking like an overpay.