Juan Pierre is not a very good Major Leaguer. He also doesn’t have time for your compotators, doohickeys and gadgets. He plays the game Ye Olde Fashioned way and he’s not interested in your complicated logical thinking.

He and Philadelphia Daily News reporter Marcus Hayes don’t have time for your calculators, thick glasses and huge brains. Please, all those who would like to think about better ways to evaluate the game and its players, just go back to your basements and spend your time solving those Sadookoo puzzles and playing Warcrafters. The big boys are fine without you and your “WAR.”

From the Philadelphia Daily News:

At 5-11 and 175 chiseled pounds, Pierre has 17 home runs in 13 seasons. Between steroids, human growth hormones and sabermatricians, Pierre had no chance.

“I was right through the whole steroid age. I was there at its height,” Pierre said – though he realizes purists with calculators consider him a dinosaur, too.

“With all the computers, the cybergenics [sabermetrics], whatever they do, I think I rate the lowest possible in those things. The things I do don’t show up in box scores. Sacrifice bunting doesn’t make any sense to do. They don’t look at the guy going first to third or taking that extra bag.”

In fact, Pierre’s sabermetric WAR-wins above replacement, the gold standard of metrics – stands at 1.4 this season.

Which, according to one pocket-protected website, rates him as a “scrub.”

Yeah! Screw you and your cybergenics, nerds. Let the jocks take care of things.

Comments (6)

  1. 1.4 WAR this season is hardly a scrub, he’s on pace to be an average player at least.

    • His fWAR is only 0.8 right now… that’s the same fWAR as Rajai Davis…

      The fact that neither of them can play any position other than LF anymore pretty much eliminates any value they might have…

  2. Don’t sabermetrics actually take into account for sacrifice bunting and taking the extra bag?

  3. COMPOTATOR: one who drinks with another

    just had to look that one up…. :)

  4. No use getting pissed off because someone doesn’t buy into sabrmetrics.

    And at the same time, that front shouldn’t get so pissed off at those who do believe in it.

    Hopefully, one day, both groups will agree to disagree, or realize that both have a rationale, and the pissing contest will end.

    There’s a place in the game for small ball, speed, and statistics.

  5. I’m not sure what WAR is, but even I know Juan Pierre is a pretty average baseball player.

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